Larry with Oliver and Abigail
Larry with Hunter
Lawrence Benedict Nizio AKA Lazer
April 9 1981 – October 13 2018
#LarryNizio #LazerNizio
All the pics we have of Larry/ Lazer are here: https://www.flickr.com/gp/194172849@N04/J34p1i
There is much more to come on this page when I can manage to gather myself together to make a fitting tribute to my son in law without breaking down in tears each time I try to put more on this page.
****July 2022: Coming up FOUR YEARS and I still do not have a proper page here for Larry as I originally intended. I have several digital folders of all sorts of saved social media posts and other writings all related to Larry and my attempts at a proper tribute. it is seriously overwhelming. What I am deciding to do now, to condense and organize, is to put all my own social media posts and writings here, then create a sharable PDF booklet containing all the condolence messages and posts. Then another shareable PDF booklet of my own story of my life with Larry, my son in law. This is all “in the works” and will be shared here as soon as ready. ****
******September 2022: I have ideas, but not written out yet. I have come to the conclusion that I need to write out my “daughter dearest” experiences first to get that all out of my brain. Journaling is therapeutic, right? Well, years ago I wrote out my traumas and then was able to focus on healing. Now I read that as someone else’s story, no emotional charge left. If you search anything with rae_nic_c you will find all sorts of “leaked only fans pics” and some less than reputable websites.
I want to cry. Yes, me and my girls did some fun local fashion modeling years ago to build our confidence and just have fun. This… this is not how I raised my daughter. This is blocking my own healing journey in being stuck in despair and grief with such a broken relationship with my flesh and blood. And it is affecting my healing with making a proper tribute to Larry. This is important, and I will get this done sooner than later. *********
This is the tribute video my son Jared made that was played at the funeral: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lX3phQjQe58
October 15 2018: With permission, I have created a tribute Memorial group for Larry. A place to share pics and memories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/280025775848437
October 2021: I am slowly moving the posts from social media to this web page.
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October 13 2018 11:05 AM: Why is it only when you lose a loved one that you realize that you really don’t have that many good pictures?
October 14 2018 6:43 AM: A few hours sleep and waking up to the nightmare still here. How do you even begin to make sense of senseless? How do you console a 73 year old mother who has lost her only son? Or tell an 89 year old war vet that he now must bury his son, rather than the other way around. It’s not supposed to happen this way. How do you tell a 5 year old and 7 year old that their daddy, their idol, their stability is just “gone” when they “just saw him yesterday”, “he just went to work”. How do you cope when the main pillar just disappears in the height of his life? Father, son, brother, partner, friend, manager (craftsman collision 15 years). Just snuffed out. His rider group of burly men has been reduced to bawling babies in the loss of one of their own.
Those left behind feel like a ravaging chainsaw has been taken mercilessly to our beating hearts. Like the aftermath of a window being sucked out of a plane. Can we just turn back time a few days? Just taken a different route home, just leave at a different time. Just do that one little thing different that would not have put him in that crucial split second moment that changed everything.
How do you explain “it was just his time to go” to the logical mind, and to those who don’t understand the “soul level”.
And the torrential tears flow again….
The emptiness is excruciating. He was my son in law, but I loved him so dearly as my own. I cannot even imagine the grief of his mother. It is painful talking to her. The gaping emptiness. He was her whole life. It’s so hard for us being so many hours away. I only got to see him a couple times a year. Life gets busy. Brief phone calls. Yet so much space in my heart for loved ones. This just can’t be real…. The stages of grief and unfathomable loss. I have such a pure deep love.
It’s so hard not to be selfish and want him back, but we know on a soul level, he is in a better place. But how do you explain that to his kids… They don’t have any grasp of spirit form of daddy being a “guide” and always in their hearts…
Larry just got Ollie set up in hockey last week. A 7 year old mini me now doesn’t have daddy to physically show him the ropes. Abbie no longer has high up shoulder rides…
The downright ugly horrid tears and extreme shock of it all are not feeling very strong at the moment. Still, being the matriarch I will gather my strength again at some point…
Sometimes all there is, is an indescribable presence… Which I feel in the surrounding of love and prayers…thank you. And then there is a figurative gaping hole in my very existence.
October 16 2018: I gotta deal with roof court today. On the way to court house, Pearl Jam “last kiss” comes on… About an accident and saying goodbye… And there goes the tears again. It was just a few minutes’ drive and it came on the radio. I don’t even remember the last time I heard that song… Or heard it on the radio. Flukey. He knew about this court issue. He was always on top of taking care of things and checking in whenever we needed support.
This is not the way I hoped to shed weight… dropped 6 lbs since Friday. (Yes I am eating… just missed about 30 hours there..).
November 1 2018: Jackie N. Rioux was traveling to Terrace, British Columbia from VIA Rail-Prince George.
Got in late last night, scrambled to clean and repack. Now I’m finally on train, Terrace bound. Heading out Saturday to Miami to go on 11 day cruise with Mom. Back in PG November 21st. Everybody thinking this trip a good thing to get my mind off things for a bit. Let’s hope so. Been in numb walking zombie mode last 2 weeks. …. And just pulled out of station right past Craftsman Collision on 1st Ave. Tears again…
December 4 2018: I know Larry’s heart was in the right place. I gave him a “Biker’s Bible” and he had that out in plain view every time I visited.
December 31 2018: This came up in memories. I had posted this 2 weeks after losing a dear friend 4 years ago.
Sentiments hold true once again as we settle into a new reality without our dear beloved Larry.
Reposted from December 31 2014: I’ve been refraining from a ‘happy’ new year post so far because I’m trying to come up with a truthful and meaningful post without sounding so trite. Although 2014 started off great and I do have some poignant memories throughout the year, the last seven months have been overshadowed with blow after blow of loss, heartache, and too many deaths for me and several people close to me. Some of us are starting this new year without loved ones, from grandparents to grandbabies and other special loved ones in between as well as fur babies too.
Many of you know this last two weeks was especially hard as I felt like I was hit by a loaded freight train. So much for me always being the strong encouraging one that everyone could rely on.
My heart goes out to others who are also grieving through the holiday festive season. Any time of year is hard, but especially now.
The new year is a time of hope and new beginnings. Let us ring in the new year knowing our loved ones are now carried on the wings of angels and will forever remain in our hearts. Let us look forward to health happiness and meaningful relationships of all kinds with new and old friends, and dear family especially.
I wish you all the very best of life’s blessings… And for those of my closest friends, I’ll be harassing you at midnight thru texts!!!!
April 6 2019:
Melissa Rioux: Just had one of the weirdest experiences of my life. Got a reflexology session at the wellness Expo (which was amazing and totally made my stomach feel better) I didn’t really pay attention to the lady that was getting a session next to me at the time. About a half hour later, that lady came and found me and was looking pretty shaken up. She asked if I was a Taurus or if I was connected with a Taurus.. possibly one who recently passed. (Minor panic because both my parents and my boyfriend are Taurus.) She asked a couple more questions. Turns out she was getting a message from Larry for mom. That he made it over to the other side and he’s happy and where he needs to be.
Never seen this lady before in my life. How random is that?
April 15 2019:
Jackie N. Rioux: Farewell Larry. I brought another ladybug for you. I did get to meet some more of your amazingly wonderful friends at your birthday gathering. I was able to see Ollie and Abbie for a few hours at the hotel pool.
Homeward bound now. “See you” on the other side some day. Love you forever, like you for always, as long as I’m living, my “son in love” you’ll be.
October 13 2020 (posted to Disturbed FB group)
I hope it is ok to post this here to show you how much your version of Sound of Silence means to our family.
Today is the 2 year anniversary of one of the worst days of my life.
In March of 2016, I went to visit my son in law, the father of 2 of my grandchildren. I’ll spare those details but suffice to say he was going through an awful rough patch. Disturbed’s version of Sound of Silence had just come out a few months before. We went for a long drive and he played Disturbed Sound of Silence on repeat. He was lost in his thoughts and just soaking in the moments and the relatable meaning of that song to his personal world right then. I am sure the depth of David Draiman’s voice touched his soul. It became his favorite song.
Fast forward to Friday October 12 2018. Larry was manager at Abbotsford Craftsman Collision. He had taken his brand new dream Harley to work that day. He had a temporary 4 day insurance, planning to go for a ride with his friends that Thanksgiving long weekend.
He texted his friends to arrange a weekend ride. Then he left work a bit early, intending to go visit his mom. At the intersection of Sumas and Marshall, he had stopped for the lights. At 445 pm, when he went to pull forward to go up the hill, a Dodge Ram slammed him from behind, throwing him to the ground into traffic. This truck tried to go around, but ran over him instead. Larry/ Lazer was taken to hospital but succumbed to his injuries at 345 am, October 13 2018.
My 6 foot 4 inch tall son in law was 37 years old and left behind his “mini me” son Oliver, age 7, and daughter Abigail, age 5. His funeral was filled with half the church of his Craftsman and business friends and family, and the other half was his leather clad BACA and Harley rider friends.
My son felt so lost without his big bro in law. He makes gamer videos and also tribute videos. He made a tribute video to his bro using family pictures and the unanimous choice of Disturbed’s version of Sound of Silence. This was played on the big screen in the church with not a dry eye in the whole place. David Draiman’s haunting voice and this rendition of Sound of Silence tugs the heart strings of every one of Larry’s/ Lazer’s friends and family.
Hold on to the Memories is shared in his Memorial group as well.
December 31 2020:
Jackie N. Rioux: All the pictures I have of my son in law have a pained look in his eyes, even the happy ones. When he passed, I had to go through a process of letting him go. I learned that we had a strong soul connection and that is why we had been so close. I envisioned a balloon going up to heaven, I had to let go of the string.
When I did that, his face came into my mind’s eye with the most radiant smile ever!!
I am not usually visual, but since then, I have had 9 times in the last two years that intuitives have given me messages from him or seen him around me.
Ghosts by Anthony Peters
I ride with ghosts of the ones I love that left me in this world.
I ride with them forevermore to me they’re only heard.
I hear their bikes and see their smiles beside me they still roll.
And they will always be there until I too go home.