Grief Management Techniques and Coping Through loss
Resources for Transitioning Souls
“I grieve for my loneliness, not for who I have lost.”
It’s the paradox of time standing still yet the busyness of life going on.
Death is only a doorway.
“There is no death…only a change of worlds.”
What is a death/ transition day for us on the Earth plane, is a Birth day for our ancestors on the other side when our souls go Home.
The purpose of this page is to offer some concepts I have learned through my experiences that can possibly assist you in your journey through these experiences as well. Disclaimer: I am not a certified counselor; this is all just sharing resources that have been beneficial for me.
Unfortunately, death is a part of the cycle of life. In my later years I am seeing so many people go through the process of losing loved ones. Many are going through a caregiving and end of life stage. Some have lost loved ones through tragedy.
Whatever your situation that brought you to this page, you’re always welcome to work with me, or any practitioner of your choice. I have set up my website with information that makes it a self-empowerment resource and I do trust that the information shared here will be useful to you in finding some peace.
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I lead a webinar January 26 2023. Sign up in site to view replay. https://www.healersresource.com/
Season 9 Episode 5. Topic: Grief Trauma
There is no charge for access, although you do have to create an account (also free) and you will receive a notice that you made a purchase (for nothing).
Thank you so much to Tom Heintz for the opportunity to share my knowledge and experiences with Grief Trauma on his MindMaster webinars platform.
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These two videos below are about animals, but have some endearing human stories as well. I bawled my eyes out watching these videos, but I also gained some wonderful insights:
Life After Death with Dawn Hayman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bF8UTZgFKc
How Animals View Death & When It’s Time to Let Them Go with Dawn Hayman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyekwEuPjGs
Quoted from video: “I left not when you were furthest from my body, but when you were closest to my heart”.
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Personal experiences and what I have learned:
I never wanted to step into the role of understanding death, loss, grief and those awful journeys that we all must face at some point as part of our human experience. The third dimension is all about war, grief, strife, and sadness. The Earth energies are ascending to the crystalline, higher vibrations of 5D peace and joy.
It can be an honor to be an intuitive, if you can handle it. Souls come to us because they know we have gifts to help them transition peacefully and fully. Death unfortunately is a part of life. Just another phase beyond the veil.
Those souls know their number is up and they want their last chance at closure before they go.
Honestly, I’m not fond of this “honor”, so it doesn’t happen often, but at least I know what to do for them.
See my Restorative Sleep page for bedtime prayer intentions. https://ladybugwellness.ca/techniques-to-promote-restorative-sleep/
Through my own loss of loved ones, I have had to come to a point of acceptance and understanding of the higher purpose of our earthly experiences. NOT at all an easy journey for anyone. I am thankful for all of my energy practitioner forums and my network of energy healer friends who have shared their experiences and their journeys with me. In turn, I would like to share with you some of these resources as well.
The passing of loved ones has become all too real for many of us these days. As world events and the waning life span of many baby boomers comes to fruition, it just seems that more souls seem to be leaving the physical plane more and more. Many humans are transcending now that they have finished their karmic journey here.
For those of us still here, this is all too painful a reality and extremely difficult to accept.
Having lost some younger dear loved ones over more recent years to tragedies, and having to learn more for myself about the grieving process, I feel it is only fitting that I create a page here to share more easily what I have been sharing repeatedly with individuals so far. This is a writing of my personal experience mixed with offering some suggestions in how I managed through this painful and heart wrenching journey.
Since my dear son in law passed in 2018, I have inadvertently been exposed to many people coming into my awareness with either a loved one in hospice care or a loved one recently passed. It is supposed to be an honor to be with these souls at their time of transition. I am still trying to accept this myself. The scenarios in which these people have come into my awareness is a whole new level of synchronicity and divine connection.
Many times I have heard someone lament that their loved one is either in hospice or in the final stages of life on this earth plane. The reasons may be old age, a tragic accident, or a disease of some sort. Perhaps they are in a lot of discomfort and this is painful not only for the one suffering, but for their family and friends to witness.
The number one thing to understand is that death is the highest form of healing when we “go Home” to the original oneness of the universe, or to God, depending on your beliefs. Often people pray for healing and Divine Will to be done, then are confused and hurt when their loved ones pass over. Some also pray for the highest good for their loved one. This is a wonderful gesture, but best to understand what exactly you are asking for so you can alter your intention if need be. I prefer to ask for the Most Benevolent Outcome and a happy healthy life on this Earth Plane.
While we have no control over someone else’s soul journey, or when they decide to leave this physical earth plane, if there is any chance of them pulling through their situation, it is better to pray for healing with the intention of a healthy happy life as the result. Miracles can happen and they do. But we also need to accept that sometimes it is just “their time” to go. Believe me, this is a difficult concept to wrap our human mind around.
When someone is at the end of their physical life, they need to feel SAFE in their own decision to leave their physical body. This is super important!
Court of Atonement (COA) is a spiritual intervention technique that you can use to say powerful prayer intentions (“calls”) on behalf of yourself and your loved ones. I will share some of these prayer intentions that I use in these situations. You are welcome to check out the Court of Atonement page here and to go to Amy Jo’s website to purchase booklets and to take classes to understand more of the use of Court of Atonement. You do not have to understand the background of COA in order to use these “calls” now.
Note: Some of these calls request the souls of the departed to resolve their unresolved issues, so that less detrimental energy flows to descendants. This also clears up the energy through the family lineages for anyone who has died who is not filled with light, anyone who has passed under tragic, unexpected, and young age circumstances.
1. I, ____(your name)___ , place ___(loved ones name)__ along with all levels of consciousness, God, their guides and the entirety of their family lineages into a full court of atonement for the purpose of Soul Recognition, Traumatic Stress Resolution, Grief Recovery Resolution, Resolution of Ancestral Causes of Death, Resolution of Murder, Resolution of Shock, Resolution of Loss of a Parent/ Sibling/ Child/Partner/Pet, Resolution of Any and All Needs for Completion.
I ask for positive resolutions and to make peace with the past. I ask for amenable dissolution of this energy.
2. I, ____(your name)___ , place ___(loved ones name)__ along with all levels of consciousness, God, their guides and the entirety of their family lineages, into a full court of atonement for the purpose of analyzing their timelines to resolve any and all unfinished business with anyone and everyone they have interacted with throughout their lives. I ask to fully resolve any and all “will to die” and “no will to live” energies in the highest and best way. I ask for positive resolutions and to make peace with the past. I ask for amenable dissolution of this energy.
3. I, ____(your name)___ , place ___(loved ones name)__ along with all levels of consciousness, God, their guides and the entirety of their family lineages, into a full court of atonement for the purpose of resolving any and all conflicts with feeling safe in their own decision to leave their physical body. I ask for the Most Benevolent Outcome for all concerned. I ask for amenable dissolution of this energy.
The times that I have said this prayer intention COA for a loved one, they have either taken a positive turn for the better and pulled through their situation, or they have transitioned within 24 hours.
Once they have left their physical body, it is recommended to ask for assistance for transcendence:
Simply say “I, ____ (your name) ___, place ___ (passed loved one’s name) __ into a full court of atonement for the purpose of Requesting Assistance for Transcendence”. I ask for positive resolutions and to make peace with the past. I ask for amenable dissolution of this energy”.
You can also use the first and second part for anyone else as well as the passed soul. I have used these for each and every loved one I have known that has passed, I also use it any time I see a name, tragedy, or picture in the news.
What this does: These are Court of Atonement Speed Calls and they are a spiritual intervention technique that corrects and balances the detrimental and negative emotions and upsets from these events. It helps us to process grief and trauma so that we can focus on good memories rather than being stuck in the upset and unable to move forward.
For the passed soul, this gives that soul an opportunity to deal with any unfinished business they may have had in their lifetime, and can help them transition peacefully and fully.
Please let me know your experiences in using this spiritual intervention technique.
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Beliefs around death:
In our Western culture, death has been promoted as something to fear, and something that is final. It may seem final, and the grieving process is irrefutably horrible to go through, but once we can wrap our mind around the concept that death is only a doorway, we can start to heal our heartaches and to cherish our memories of our loved ones. In some other cultures, death is viewed as a celebratory time of a graduation from our Earth life. It is just another accepted phase of the human experience.
Some people are so afraid to die that they never really live.
When loved ones leave this plane, we grieve, yet they are “birthing” into another realm and ancestors are welcoming them there with a huge celebration just like when we have a new birth here on earth.
Grief is a “process”. Yes, I know, I hate that word too. You can search for all sort of psychology and counseling advice and they will all suggest variations of the “grieving process”. The thing to know is that we are all unique and we all go through this process differently. There is no right or wrong way. These are some of the stages you will inevitably go through, in no particular order.
Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.
Pain and guilt.
Anger and bargaining.
Depression.
The upward turn.
Reconstruction and working through.
Acceptance and hope.
The one thing that I am sure anyone who has experienced this kind of deep loss can agree on, is that it feels like a merciless chainsaw ripping through your still-beating heart. Our own heart may feel like it has stopped beating. Our spirits may feel deflated and heading for some other dimension of escape. The loss of a loved one is the most devastating experience we can ever go through. In that way, it feels very final and hopeless. Yet it is possible to find renewed hope in a different sense.
I have taken some psychology training, some trauma training, and then I have my own experiences as well. Despite this background, it all goes out the window when it happens to me. I do not deal with loss very well at all, initially.
Every relationship is unique and every loss is just as unique as well.
— I had been close with my maternal grandma and wasn’t able to go to her funeral for various reasons at that time. A year later I was still absent mindedly attempting to call her phone number and got a jolt of grief every time I realized she would not answer.
— I had had an uncanny soul connection with my dear friend Andy and was an absolute wreck of tears for months afterwards.
— I had had a tumultuous relationship with my father, yet our parents are our roots and I still grieved heavily when he passed as well.
— I had a unique connection with my son in law Larry, and realized too late that my dreams and intuitive senses knew he was leaving several months prior to his death. (That really messes up your mind, by the way!!)
— I had a heavy sense of urgency to tell my romantic soul mate Darrel how much he meant to me every time we spoke within the last year before he passed. I have now learned that my last endearing message may have been the last conscious message he received before he transitioned.
— The family of a dear friend did not make any public announcement of his passing. I found out through a rumor two months after the fact.
Losing my SIL Larry was quite devastating for me. No, I did not birth him, but I know several people who have lost their children and this is the closest I have come to understanding that experience. Being a parent is having your heart walking outside your body with no way to protect it. I don’t think that our human minds can go that far in imagination and understanding in the loss of a child. In those cases it is best to reach out to a support group especially for grieving parents. See more resources at the bottom of this page.
After my son in law passed, I reached out to the offered counseling center hotline. Although I am sure these hotlines may be helpful for some people, for me it was not. I had a very nice man just tell me “There, there, you will get through this. Just take care of yourself”. That is a standard counseling response, I am sure, but not very helpful in the moment when I was so distraught. I had so much previous training in psychology and trauma relief that in that moment went out the window in trying to navigate this process myself.
This is why I appreciate my own energy balancing skills and the network of energy practitioners I am blessed to call friends. Energy balancing can release the blockages of heartache and pain while allowing the good memories to rise to the surface. This technique does not require any kind of spoken details which is a relief for grieving hearts. I honestly do not know where I would be in my life’s progress if it had not been for energy balancing to get me “back on track”. In going through so many losses of loved ones, I have felt like I wanted to leave as well, but the rest of my living family still needs me here.
One last thing to consider: Funerals and Celebrations of Life are events intended for the living to honor their passed loved one and to find some closure in their experience. Personally, I have told my family I want to be cremated and have the least expensive method of disposal of my physical body. I do not agree with some funeral homes guilting vulnerable grieving people into expensive funerals and non enviro friendly caskets as a way to show their love. However, I do think that some sort of gathering and acknowledgement is a better way for loved ones left behind to mourn together and to find closure.
Resources:
Court of Atonement Ladybug page: https://ladybugwellness.ca/court-of-atonement/
Court of Atonement website: https://courtofatonement.com
Ascension process: https://ladybugwellness.ca/the-ascension-process-transition-from-3rd-to-5th-dimension/
Restorative Sleep page for bedtime prayer intentions: https://ladybugwellness.ca/techniques-to-promote-restorative-sleep/
From COA: Soul goes back to oneness, spirit is the character of this life time, denied aspects is the ghost
Particular Court of Atonement classes to further understanding:
All about Guides
Guardian Guides
How To Connect With Your Guides
Resolution of Cause of Death Medical Speed Call
Everything Ghosts: Explains multidimensional beings
Understanding the Soul: Explains multiple souls and Soul Purpose vs. Life Purpose
Ascension: Lorie Ladd, Yasmin Ibrahim
Karen Kan:
Expansion, Rising, Resistance, and Integration
Causes of Ascension cycle deaths:
o 32% Can’t hack the higher vibration physically
o 35% Choose to leave – too much emotional pain
o 25% alternate self’s death experienced
o 8% Soul Experience Template and Mission fulfilled (and no new mission)
Tibetan Book of Living and Dying: This is a non denominational look at many different cultural and societal beliefs on the subject of living and dying. This was one of those things I was drawn to once it came into my awareness. Since reading this text many years ago, I am no longer afraid of death and came to many new conclusions that later assisted me in understanding my own experiences.
Quote from the book: The realization of impermanence is paradoxically the only thing we can hang onto, perhaps our only lasting possession. It is when we face the fears of uncertainty in death and the impermanence of life that we can truly live.
The Reconnection by Eric Pearl: Although this book is about an energy healing modality, there is a whole section that explains the levels of transition that a soul goes through after leaving the physical body. Ironically, I was reading this book the week before SIL Larry passed away.
Live Beyond Your Loss. Her son was murdered. This book is a daily journal to cope through the grief process. (Same publisher as my autobiography story). https://www.facebook.com/livebeyondyourloss/
More recommended books:
If Only They Could Talk: The Miracles of Spring Farm Cares: Bonnie Reynolds and Dawn Hayman tell the story of how their animal rescue shelter came to be and how Dawn became an animal communicator.
Where Angels Walk, Joan Wester Anderson: Read this and you will never feel alone ever again.
Angels On Assignment, Charles Frances Hunter
Broken Open: how difficult times can help us grow: Elizabeth Lesser
On Death and Dying: Elisabeth Kubler Ross MD
Questions from Earth, Answers from Heaven: Char Margolis
Through Death’s Gate: A Guide to Selfless Dying: https://centerforsacredsciences.org/css_files/publications/ThroughDeathsGate/
Tibetan Book of the Dead: The three death bardos, or “intervals,” that await us at the end of life, and that constitute the journey through the book itself.
We will discover that bardos are everywhere, and that by working with the small bardos now we will prepare for the big one at the end of life.
“NO ONE DIES… THEY ONLY CONTINUE THEIR JOURNEY IN A NEW REALITY
If you knew there is no death and everyone continues to live on.. how would it change your life? There is a reason people do not know and understand this, it is not an accident. If you want to change your life, start to understand that this is True, there is no death, everyone including all pets walk into another dimension when leaving this one… No one that has crossed over wants to be referred to as DEAD, they know they are not dead and they are upset people refer to them this way.. they have told me this in client mediumship sessions… I see them, I talk to them, I get messages from them” Love Diane Psychic Clairvoyant Medium
www.DianeCanfield.com
Whether your family has had a child die (at any age, from any cause) or you are trying to help those who have gone through this life altering experience, The Compassionate Friends exists to provide friendship, understanding, and hope to those going through the natural grieving process. https://www.compassionatefriends.org/
How do you forgive yourself for killing someone? Neale Donald Walsch September 26 2013
https://www.theglobalconversation.com/blog/?p=6671
Accidents: In these tragic cases, did someone actually “kill” someone else, or…were they co-creators on a soul level of our existence that gave us a gift of human experience in the evolution of our soul purpose?
Suicide: It does not end the pain, it just transfers the pain to those left behind. It is my understanding from Theta Healing book and Reconnection book, that suicide keeps a soul trapped in a karmic cycle as they have abruptly ended their soul purpose in this life. It is also my understanding from some psychic intuitives that these souls feel the pain of all other souls who have committed suicide before them. I am not sure I believe that part, but I do know that many people who get into drugs and other mind-altering substances, especially if they pass away from overdose, are running away from their soul purpose feeling they cannot handle it.
I have learned that there are many energetic and spiritual interference reasons for why someone may take their own life. Society frowns on suicide and there is a stigma of mental health weakness as well. The truth is that we do not know someone else’s soul journey, or their life path. Rather than pass judgment, let’s support those left behind in processing thru their grief time. And….
Thankfully we have Court of Atonement techniques to assist the passed souls in addressing and resolving these kinds of deaths.
I would rather you cry on my shoulder then cry at your funeral.
Death is more commonly seen as a negative event. Yet, from a place of neutrality, we can consider that the loss of a loving family member would be felt as a loss and sadness.
A serial killer or child abuse perpetrator death would probably evoke a sense of relief from the victims and those affects by these actions, while the family would still experience grief.
A Hospice Nurse Shares Stories About What Happens to People As They’re Dying
Several recommended websites are listed in my downloadable e-learning document on this page: https://ladybugwellness.ca/lbw-resources/
Shared in my November 2021 newsletter, I feel it is insightful:
“First, if you loved any of those dear souls, let it be a measure of comfort to know that most transitioned to spirit life because they had completed chosen karmic experiencing, and, at soul level, others chose the option to leave and complete remaining lessons in Nirvana. Each person whose physical lifetime ends from any cause is lovingly greeted and given personalized care until wellbeing in mind, body and spirit is restored. Then they begin an active life in that wondrous world of love, diversity and illumination, from whence they are guiding everyone with whom they’re bonded in love”.
https://www.matthewbooks.com/november-1-2021/
The First Thing to Do When Someone Dies | Sarah Kerr, Death Doula https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7mG0ZAym0w
Sarah Kerr, Death Doula YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6_0qpDLxzZ0qjRsyk-ucxA/videos
How to Speak to Someone About an Unspeakable Loss https://tinybuddha.com/blog/speak-someone-unspeakable-loss/
A Mother’s Chorus: Grieving a Child on Mother’s Day https://whatsyourgrief.com/grieving-a-child/
Grieving After a Suicide Death https://whatsyourgrief.com/grieving-suicide-death/
The Shaman’s Map for the Journey Beyond Death http://www.dyingconsciously.org/beyond-death-the-journey-home/
She Died Suddenly & Met God, What He Told Her About Energy Will Shock You | NDEhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLJ4V7O6KhI
Life after death: Where do we go after we die, and what happens in the afterlife?
https://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/spiritual-research/afterlife/life-after-death/
Orbs: The Veil Is Lifting (2015) Documentary
Summary: We live in the midst of other dimensions that our eyes alone cannot perceive. New technological advances are allowing us to confirm what many have believed: that there is more to our world than meets the eye. The veil between dimensions is thinning with our increase in consciousness. Modern digital photography allows us to observe the hidden world of light spheres known as orbs. Bringing together scientists, spiritualists and experts, Orbs is the first full-length documentary to address and explore the orb phenomenon. What are these orbs, and what does their presence mean?
Social Media: Go on your own profile and search their name. Save any pics and copy paste any posts into a document on your own computer.
If, by any chance, that profile gets deleted, alllll your memories and their comments on your profile also disappear.
I had a few friends pass and I learned the hard way. I wasn’t close enough to family to do anything with the deceased loved one’s profile. Facebook not a secure platform at all.
Please consider choosing enviro friendly tributes in not using balloons. They do not go to heaven.
From a social media post:
To this person, I am really sorry you lost your dad but I am afraid (this balloon) didn’t reach him. Instead, we could have lost a pony, this was in our horses’ field in which the string was stuck in our pony’s mouth so when he put his head up to walk away the balloon scared him to death so he tried to run away. Unfortunately, the balloon didn’t go away and carried on chasing him. He ran and ran eventually running in to a barb wire fence and thick hedge, we caught him to free him and was lucky he was only sweaty, exhausted and a few nicks. We all miss our love ones, I do but rather than balloons or lanterns please plant a tree or light a candle, anything because next time we might not be so lucky.
Beautiful writing from a social media post:
June 13 2022 Carolyne Pickup
For everyone who has lost a precious pet, this is what I have come to know, this is from the perspective of a Medicine Woman:
Our animal companions are pure, they are much better than humans and they live in the realms between Spirit and emotion. They can read us completely and have even been given to us for a purpose. Some are reincarnations of pets we have had before in other lives. The bond is love and love will always bring you back together.
We live experiential lives, which means we are here to experience the many flavors of emotions. Some of us are learning important lessons about love and in doing so we are experiencing the loss of love. In order to know something, we must experience all facets of that thing, having it and not having it. The two extremes and all that is in between. Our animal companions are here to help us to get through whatever we are here to experience and grow through. They teach us trust, love, patience, self-care, self-love, self-reliance, fearlessness, compassion, forgiveness. They teach us to be ourselves, they demand of us to live our truth. They are in service to us and we, in turn are in service to them. Cats don’t have owners, they have staff. Those with cats learn this.
All of my companions have visited me in dream time after their passing to let me know they are all right. Just like humans they reincarnate, they can come back to us over and over to further experience and explore a deep love. The reason you cannot feel them there with you is because grief shuts down our ability to sense energy. In order to process grief, we shut out everything around us and we go into survival mode. This is normal. Over time, as we process our grief, the heaviness of loss will lift and our hearts will open once more. This takes time.
Our animal companions don’t leave us. They walk with us and love us just the same. It can get very crowded around us with our beloveds. It is all in the service of love. We are here to be love and to love. We are here to heal and to be healed. Cats teach us to be more sensitive to those around us, to be aware of other’s emotions and what they are going through. Cats teach us to see through the darkness to the truth. Some cats are old souls and they hold centuries of wisdom which they share with us when we ask. Some cats are here to reconnect us to joy.
We have limitation thinking. As humans we have very limited understandings of the Spiritual world. We have all of these rules we have been taught by our religious leaders that may or may not be fully true. Our animal companions love us anyway despite our own limitations. Someone can be the worst member of the family and possibly have a healthy relationship with their pet. That relationship may be the only “safe” relationship they have to be vulnerable in.
Cats make us better people and we are blessed to have them. They do not leave us and are always with us even when they pass.
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Suicidal Thoughts from COA Amy Jo Emails May 15 2023
https://app.getresponse.com/view.html?x=a62b&m=B9DDG9&mc=JI&s=YljRWD&u=h4EO5&z=EFzsMwy&
If you know someone who is having suicidal thoughts, the first thing we have to do is recommend they seek professional help. Not simply because of legal reasons but to prevent the people we love from harming themselves before our energetic approach has the opportunity to work.
I, _______, place _______ into a Full Court of Atonement for the purpose of requesting Reconciliation with his/her birthname. I ask for Soul Recognition, Resolution of Murder, Absorbed Sibling Resolution, Optimization of Divine Life Force Energy Connections, Developing and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries, Requesting Divine Guidance, Restoration of Self, Home Security, and job site security.
I am Requesting Transcendence Assistance for anyone and everyone who does not maintain their own light in his/her energy field.
I ask to examine _______’s mental thoughts, and I ask for the litigation of statute derogatory statements. I ask to resolve any and all reasons for the detrimental thoughts.
I, _______, place _______ into a Full Court of Atonement with God and his/her divine guides for the purpose of resolving any and all reasons he/she believes dying is better than living. I ask to resolve those reasons at their points of origin. I ask for amenable dissolution of this energy.
Next would be to take a look at their life and put them in the “Standard” Full Court of Atonement “Call” with everyone we can think of who they have been upset with. (Family, friends, exes, coworkers, etc.)”
I, _______, place _______ into a Full Court of Atonement with _______. I ask to analyze their timelines and resolve any and all conflicts between them at their points of origin. I ask for amenable dissolution of this energy.
Also, work on yourself until you can see this person in a happy, healthy state of mind, and then let this work go.
Remember, we are not responsible for other people. We should do everything we can to help them, but then we must realize their recovery is not up to us; it is up to them.
I’m a Medium, and so I know in a very visceral way that our loved ones who have committed suicide are still with us.
The Spirits who visit me often regret their choice only because of the impact it had on their family; they often stand by their choice and tell me that they couldn’t find another way. They tell me they are alive and well. They give indisputable evidence to their loved ones that they are with them, and they ask their family to forgive them and beg them to let go of the upset and get on with their lives.
Hopefully, the use of this process will help some people “Find another way.”
If you have lost someone to suicide, use these statements for yourself.
Also, use the “Changing Our Beliefs” worksheet to help change your thoughts about it all. courtofatonement.com/change
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We have forgotten how to grieve. In order to return again and again to our fullest joy, aliveness, connection with each other and love for life, we must have a space, and the SKILLS to express and process our emotions.
One of the things that people almost always ask me is how to safely grieve without being swallowed by our strong emotions.
We aren’t taught these skills in school, and most of us aren’t taught them in our families of origin.
So, trying to do this alone is like walking out into the forest by ourselves for the first time without any knowledge of the terrain and lacking basic survival tools.
So, too, it is with the dark woods of grief.
Tools include community, connection, and finding our common humanity in a group of people committed to this work. These are all critical sources of nourishment. They help sustain us on our journey.
Then there’s the question of approaching our grief.
We need to be able to assess the dosage needed – and to know when it’s too much.
Most of us aren’t taught how to tell the difference between emotion moving in a good way vs. being thrown around in the washing machine of sorrow and trauma in a way that can actually cause further harm.
We desperately need the somatic (body-based) skills to be able to slow it down, ground and come back to our center and a place of nourishment and rest when things get to be too much.
We need to know how to build that container – so we can step into the wildness of our grief, and then step out again. It’s kind of like knowing how to build a shelter from the storm.
O𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡, 𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟.
Want consistent support for connecting to your own personal practice of grief & gratitude in your inbox? This is one of the best (free!) ways to build connection, and I’d love to be there for you.
Start here 👉 https://joseatamiracrossley.com/dark-woods-of-grief-letter/
I’m Josea, a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor who has been facilitating grief & process-based healing work in community for over 20 years.