Triggers: How I Healed my own Triggers so now I can assist you in overcoming yours:
If we knew the secret history of our enemies, it would be enough to disarm all hostility. — Longfellow
Most of us have had an experience at some point in our lives where an overwhelming situation meets a momentarily lapse in judgement. Maybe a lack of restful sleep causes a short fuse one day and everything just seems wrong around us. Sure, we can write it off due to some other stresses, lack of sleep, or someone else that just really gets on our nerves.
When this happens too often, it is time to looks at the reasons behind the stress, anxiety, fears, and upsets. We’ll often find a trigger. This is a psychological connection and an emotional charge connected to a person, an event, a selection of music, a scent, or an object, or a combination of these seemingly innocuous things. It is often an unresolved upset or trauma that we may, or may not, be aware of.
Just a few years ago I was at a craft fair event where they had a live guitar player singing melodies to set a charismatic atmosphere for this event. I was just mingling through the crowds and minding my own business when all of a sudden, I felt tears well up and I burst into almost hyperventilating tears! This is NOT normal for me! I quickly ran outside and did some calming techniques to gather my wits about me. I am usually pretty calm and balanced so I was wondering what brought on the tears and that reaction.
Thankfully my calming techniques work quickly. I got quiet and listened, tuning into my own energy. Then I heard it. The guitar player was playing an instrumental version of Candle in the Wind which was a song I associated with the passing of a loved one just a year before. I had not consciously been aware of the specific songs being played that evening, but my subconscious sure picked up on it and created this reaction to an event that was not fully resolved for me.
One of my former triggers was a red sleeper. I have fully addressed and resolved that childhood trauma and no longer have any emotional charge connected to a red sleeper. But for many, many years, the thought of a red sleeper would debilitate me and cause me to breakdown in tears inside in ways that I could not explain to others.
I actually find it pretty silly to think of that now because it does not bother me at all anymore, but it is a good lesson and example to share with you.
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I have always loved Christmas. When I was little, Christmas meant grandma would come to visit and we would get gifts from family friends in England. Mom would sew new outfits for my sisters and me. When I was very little, I had a red fleece sleeper with footsie slippers.
For as long as I can remember, the weeks leading up to Christmas were full of stress and anxiety.
My father would get antsy and find anything and everything to throw a fit about. We walked on eggshells all the time because we never knew what might be his next trigger. As I got older, I started to understand that my father was just repeating the abusive patterns he was accustomed to through his life. I learned to understand why special occasions were a trigger for him and why he unconsciously sabotaged occasions for himself and others.
I was a teen mom and I got married young with a white picket fence theory that married life would be blissful and perfect. Boy, was I wrong. My husband lost his father at age 15 just a few days before Christmas, so although his family had a huge party for Christmas, they all went a little squirrelly around the anniversary of his father’s death.
I still loved Christmas though.
My grandmother passed away when I was 18. I had seen her that summer at my wedding, but she didn’t make it to visit for Christmas that year. She passed away just days after Christmas. I doubt I have ever cried so much in my life as suffering through that loss of my cherished grandma.
But I still loved Christmas.
My children grew to be about the age that I had been when I had that red fleece sleeper. Christmas would be coming soon. Family would buy gifts for my children. I starting having recurring nightmares that my children might receive a red fleece sleeper like the one I used to wear. I would envision that I would see a red sleeper and freak out in front of everyone in ways that I could not explain. What was wrong with me?? Was I crazy? What was wrong with a red sleeper when I loved the sleeper I had years ago?
Thankfully no one gave my children a red sleeper. I don’t remember if I had really told anyone about this toxic fear I had, I just knew that there was something wrong with me having these nightmares.
The recurring nightmares continued, and more similar nightmares of upsetting childhood events became a regular occurrence for me as well. Counseling helped a little bit to bring up the reasons I had nightmares and to finally associate that the red sleeper symbolized the abusive events that occurred when I was 6 years old when we had a deviant teenage foster boy living with us.
It wasn’t until I read the Secret Survivors book that I finally understood all these events created TRIGGERS for me and for my family.
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A trigger is a psychological upset. It is a normal human reaction to trauma. An extreme emotion such as fear, abandonment, grief, for example, can be psychologically connected to an every day event or object that is associated with the traumatic event.
The red sleeper, as it turns out, was only one of many triggers I had to address through my own healing journey. Counseling only served to bring up the past. When I discovered energy balancing modalities, I was finally able to eradicate these triggers completely to the point that I can look back on the events in my life with absolutely no emotional charge associated with those events.
I first learned TFT tapping techniques that targeted traumatic memories whether I remembered them fully or not.
I learned Reiki and how to send Reiki energy to heal past events.
I learned Emotion Code and Body Code so I could target trapped energies and emotions anywhere through my mind and body.
I learned more about the human mind and body so I could target the amygdala where traumatic memories are stored.
I learned about the Reticular Activating System that is like a repeat switch in the brain where recurring nightmares keep reoccurring.
I learned about chakras and assemblage point and how energetic imbalances in these areas can detrimentally affect so many areas of my life.
I learned Court of Atonement spiritual intervention techniques so I could heal the past on a spiritual and soul level.
I learned forgiveness so I could forgive perpetrators from my past. Forgiveness releases the detrimentally poisonous energies from me and leaves the responsibility and karma of their actions to them alone.
I learned personal accountability so I could leave the past in the past where it belongs yet take forward the life lessons learned in creating a better life for myself and others.
I learned to turn the troubles of my past into the gift of my future so I can now assist others in overcoming the triggers of their past as well.
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Through my years of energy healing, I have now learned how triggers relating to trauma can also be passed down through our lineages. Have you ever had an unexplained fear and cannot find any logical reason for it? Perhaps you’ll find that the upset has come from an ancestor.
It is absolutely fascinating to find and release imbalances and to experience the shifts of lifting that energy from our being.
I have been offering the free weekly remote clearing sessions for a very long time. I have noticed, and participants have shared, that they and their loved ones are much less reactive to general situations now.
Clients who have had individual private sessions often report that their personal triggers seem to have resolved over time as well, without having to specifically address the upsets or relive the past.
Some modalities suggest putting a client into a container to do a session. This concept and these words can be quite triggering for someone with a lot of trauma and claustrophobia issues. In the way I work, we can put the upsets into a container. I would rather think that a client can be in a gentle healing cocoon rather than a harsh concept of a confining container.
The beauty of this work is that you do not have to share any details at all. Your deep dark secrets can be gently uncovered and balanced without ever having to disclose anything or re-live the experiences. I am not a certified counselor, so I do have to offer that as a disclaimer, but you are welcome to share anything you feel comfortable sharing if you feel you need to say something. I have had my own experiences, and know of so many case studies that nothing shocks me, so you have that reassurance and safety net here, if need be.
In working together, your comfort is the most important. Generally, the way I work is to allow your energy body to tell me what it wants to release when it is ready at any given time.
Pondering thoughts:
Triggers are your inner child’s cry for freedom!
Your triggers are your responsibility. It isn’t the world’s obligation to tiptoe around you.
Often when we feel out of control, that is when we try to control others and things. Controlling others and things is exhausting and there are very few benefits, plus often lots of resentment and frustration.
There’s a lot that’s happening that you can’t control.
But one thing that you can control is how well you can prepare for the future.
When you focus on living in the moment and preparing for the future you WIN at life.
Focus on the things that you can control.
Trauma dysregulates our nervous system to the point where managing our emotions can feel very challenging. Energy balancing approaches are an incredibly powerful tool to heal the effects of trauma.
Energetically we work directly with the nervous system and to assist drawing on our internal resources to reconstruct awareness, trust, agency, connection, and embodiment.
Acronym for fear: Finding Excuses And Reasons or F*** Everything And Run.
Better to choose Face Everything and RISE
Whatever happened to us in the past may not be our fault, but the responsibility and choices to heal the past are solely our own.
“Traumatic events are almost impossible to put into words.” – Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
This is because during moments of trauma recall, Broca’s area of the brain – the part responsible for speech production – shuts down, compromising our ability to describe how we are feeling (van der Kolk, 2014; Werbalowsky, 2019).
Not only this, but verbal forms of therapy that rely on the recounting of traumatic events can in fact retraumatize survivors and hinder the process of healing (van der Kolk, 2014).
We have no idea the power of our own intentions and how we can be so sovereign in our own energy boundaries, and our own healing work.
“The past has no power over us. It doesn’t matter how long we have had a negative pattern. The point of power is in the present moment. What a wonderful thing to realize! We can begin to be free in this moment!” ~Louise Hay
Through healing the past, we may develop a more omnipotent view of our lives and our soul purpose, arriving at the conclusion that we “chose” this life and these lessons. That may be true, but it is so important to be compassionate with yourself in learning self love and embracing the healing journey in an effective and productive way.
You know that if you don’t sleep well or exercise, if you don’t meditate or if you haven’t eaten and you’re hangry…. this makes you Trigger Happy.
But did you know that all of these things poke a CORE Belief which lies at the base of your trigger?
That’s what a trigger is. A trigger is when an old injury or core belief has been poked. You’ll react in the same way that you did when the original pain of the trigger was formed. It will look as if, you’re having a child-like temper tantrum.
I appreciate this explanation from Jenny Schiltz
Higher Truths Used to Bully Oct 5, 2022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcZg9p658kE
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March 10 2020
Those who know me, know that “my story” is of childhood sexual abuse. I lived with nightmares for years, and coped through many other “after effects”.
There were many events through my life that I look back on as a pin ball machine. These events happened through many failed attempts at the pin ball machine of life. I was so naïve. So withdrawn. So everything just wrong. Sometimes you just hit rock bottom in a big way before life changes and you really get a handle on navigating that pin ball machine.
Life fell apart for me April 23 2008. My ex was taking me to family court yet again. My daughter was leaving the country and moving away. There were changes at work with politics and more pressures. My stress bucket overflowed and I flipped out on a supervisor at work over something seemingly trivial. I broke out in hives, hyperventilating. Fast forward here. I ended up taking 3 months off work stress leave and trying to re-evaluate life. My previously wonderful and supportive job was no longer in line with my morals and values. And family life was upside down too.
I always had an interest in psychology, but taking classes had never worked out before. It finally did! I started evening classes and found my happy place! I decided to go for a degree. I found that with all my life obligations, in the end, I settled on an “Associate of Arts degree, Psychology concentration”. You see, once I took that first step towards finding my passion, everything lit up on my life’s pin ball machine. The people I met, the connections I made, new amazing friends, the courses I took…. I was introduced to “energy psychology” and all forms of energy work. I appreciated the mainstream psychology knowledge, but I found my passion in energy work!
It took a while, but I found ways to overcome the nightmares, to finally forgive and heal my past. To completely disconnect the emotional charges and triggers to all those awful memories.
Along the way, I turned this all into my passion for working with clients in showing them the path and the techniques to overcome the horrors of their past as well.
It is so gratifying to see frowns turn into relieved smiles. To bring understanding and awareness to their deep hurts, without having to re-live any of it at all!! It can all go away, never to bother us again.
Sounds crazy almost, doesn’t it? I am my own walking testimony. I can remember those past awful things – if I choose to think about them– yet I am not at all triggered by any of it.
One of the first things I look back on as a pivotal moment was finding a book called Secret Survivors, by Sue E. Blume. The information in that book was like a frying pan over my head in making sense of ME, and all the psychological repercussions of the awful experiences and memories I had. Through energy work, I used that knowledge to find ways to heal myself. Several years later I still recommend that book to anyone interested in reading and understanding. This book was written for incest survivors, yet they have expanded that term to include anyone in a position of trust with a child.
Honestly, that book, in my opinion would be helpful to anyone working with various child abuses and traumas as well as alcoholism.
I remember working with one fellow a few years ago. After a session he said “and only 3650 more to go”. Confused, I asked him what he meant by that. I had explained to him that it took me 10 years of learning and healing myself to get to the point I was at then, so he thought it would take forever for him as well.
Our personal development and inner healing is a journey, yes, but I explained that what I went through in learning as I go was similar to taking a chisel to a mountain. What I have learned and can now use is more like taking a wrecking ball to that mountain –in a much gentler, non invasive way, of course!
In my website, I have a list of recommended reading books. (Because everything that has ever helped me, is in my website for your reference). The Secret Survivors book is listed there, along with this link: http://ladybugwellness.ca/survivor-checklist/ This is the list in the book of “after effects” of childhood sexual abuse. Personally, I had almost every one of these issues in varying degrees.
Yes, I understand the triggers and the awful memories all too well. But you will never have to share or re-live any of it in working with me. Through non invasive energy balancing and clearing, we can release and overcome the past, and be able to face the future with grace and ease!
You are welcome to share my stories with anyone you feel may benefit. I offer a complimentary introductory session so you can decide if you would like to continue energy balancing sessions as your own course of action. Book your appointments here: https://ladybugwellness.as.me/