The Secret History of Our Enemies
Joe Tedesco is one of my accountability partners in our Story Athlete community who has also become a cherished friend. I love his writings and insights. In a private chat, we were talking about the context prompts we use for our daily writings. He challenged me to give him a prompt to write on. My first thought was a favorite quote from Longfellow.
I love Joe’s writing so I am sharing here with his permission, plus my response. Ironically our SA GRIT context prompt the next day was “I don’t harbor anger”, so I used my writing to share in our community as well.
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Mon January 23 2023 6:05 PM
Joe Tedesco: Let’s try something different… how about you send me a prompt/topic to write about for the remainder of January… and I’ll write to you about that!!
Jackie Rioux: Like CJ GRIT daily prompts or you trusting me to send me some random idea?
I’m female… “whatcha thinking about?”. 🤔 😳🙄 lol
Joe Tedesco: Lol… women. I want to write about something different. I can write about anything.
Jackie Rioux: Hmmmm… brain churning here… Smoke coming out of my ears now 🙄😳
Joe Tedesco: No rush to get them all. I just need one by tomorrow morning lol
Your prompts can be a quote, a belief of yours, an observation… anything. I’ll write about it
Jackie Rioux: I am all about quotes
Joe Tedesco: Quotes are easy though. Don’t make them all quotes
Jackie Rioux: “If we knew the secret history of our enemies, it would be enough to disarm all hostility”.
One of my top faves
Joe Tedesco: Damn… that’s a tough one. I’ll write you about that one tomorrow
January 24 2023:
The Secret History of Our Enemies
“If we knew the secret history of our enemies, it would be enough to disarm all hostility.”
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I had to look this quote up. There were a couple of words in an expanded version of the quote that made it click for me.
“We Should Find in Each Man’s Life Sorrow and Suffering.”
Is empathy enough to disarm all hostility?
I don’t believe it is.
But I do believe the world would be a hell of a lot better if we were more aware, in the moment, of people’s suffering.
I like to think I’m nice to others. I consider myself empathetic.
But for this to be a way of being, it requires daily awareness & acceptance of my own suffering. As a reminder that we all bleed.
Some cuts are deeper than others. Some of the scars fade, some we carry for the rest of our lives.
And if we wore our secret history on our sleeve, perhaps we would treat one another with more kindness, more empathy, more love.
Perhaps we would see our pain reflected back to us through the experience of others.
And perhaps this reflection would help us understand we’re not alone.
So often, in my own journey, I’ve felt like I was isolated on an island in the middle of nowhere. Believing no one could understand my fears, my frustrations, my pain.
But we all experience these emotions.
And though our secret history varies from person to person, the emotional wounds, I believe, are more similar than we think.
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Thanks!
Joe Tedesco
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Jackie to Joe January 24 2023
This. Is. Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you. Definitely makes me think.
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My thoughts JACKIE RIOUX
Day of GRIT: #21 of 28, January 24 2023
CONTEXT: “I Don’t Harbor Anger…”
“If we knew the secret history of our enemies, it would be enough to disarm all hostility.” Longfellow
This is probably one of the first quotes I ever shared in my website eons ago. The meaning for me, I think, is when we acknowledge where someone else is in life, we realize that we are all human with human failings. How can we hate or be hostile to someone else for their actions when we realize where they are coming from?
For me, I resented anyone who had anything to do with my 6 year old incident but…. I learned to forgive them because “they knew not what they were doing” in the sense of what Christ said on the cross. They are human and they failed me. No, it doesn’t make what they did right or okay… but understanding and knowingness disarmed hostilities for me.
The 16 year old hitchhiker: He was a boy that my foster brother picked up hitchhiking in the 70s. Not at all unusual at that time. This boy fell thru the cracks of the Indian Affairs social system and ended up living with us for a few months… with a vulnerable 6 year old girl in the house… Plus we had boarders, parents were busy working… easy to not notice nighttime activities.
My foster brother Darrell: He had no idea this ever happened. Ironically, in 2017, I had not seen him in over 25 years, but I was the last person of “family” to see him before he passed in the hospital. I never mentioned it then either. It was not something I wanted him to carry to his grave.
My mom didn’t protect me because she just didn’t know any better. She had her own issues and things she was dealing with. How can a mother even acknowledge what happened when it came out years later? That is a hell of a lot of guilt to bear.
My father seemed protective of me regarding this incident when he found out years later, but having had his own events, he ended up repeating abuse cycles with me in his own way as well.
So, did these people hurt me? yeah. Did they fail me? Yup.
Or… were they co-creators on a soul level of my existence that gave me a gift of human experience and pain that I now use to assist my clients in overcoming their traumas?
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Kinda mind blowing, eh? I love what you wrote and …. I would love to share in my website if you’re ok with that?
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Joe Tedesco
Thanks for sharing… I love this way of looking at your experience:
“Or… were they co-creators on a soul level of my existence that gave me a gift of human experience and pain that I now use to assist my clients in overcoming their traumas?”
Beautiful.
And yes, share away if you feel compelled to!
-Joe