Spirituality vs Religion: Reclaiming Faith After Fear
So many of us have been wounded by the very structures that were supposed to protect us. Religious trauma is real—and it often goes unspoken. This page is for the seekers, the skeptics, the silent survivors of dogma who still long for connection, meaning, and faith on their own terms.
My Roots and Reckonings
I was raised in a strict Pentecostal household and attended a private Christian school where fear and guilt were often used as tools of control. One formative experience was watching A Thief in the Night, a film intended to scare us into salvation. Decades later, reconnecting with classmates revealed that I wasn’t alone in being traumatized by it. That experience became a symbol of the fear-based conditioning I would spend years unpacking.
In 2009, my younger sister, who was raised much differently than I was, shared a quote that stunned me at the time:
“Religion is for those who fear hell. Spirituality is for those who have been there.”
At first, I was offended. I was still holding tight to the beliefs I had grown up with. But that quote lingered. It followed me into a philosophy class years later, where it finally clicked. That classroom moment became a mental crossroads, challenging everything I thought I knew. I realized I had spent most of my life trying to earn love and worthiness through obedience and fear—but what I really craved was peace, not punishment. That quote is now one of my favorites. Now, it’s one of my favorite quotes. That moment marked a major turning point in my spiritual evolution—a shift from fear-based religion to soul-led spirituality.
What’s the Difference?
| Religion | Spirituality |
|---|---|
| Organized belief system with doctrines and rules | Personal connection with the Divine or inner truth |
| Often rooted in fear of punishment or promise of reward | Rooted in love, inner peace, and growth |
| Shared by a group, led by authority figures | Lived and interpreted individually |
| Can be manipulated for control | Encourages freedom and exploration |
| Focuses on worship and obedience | Focuses on self-awareness and embodiment |
Why This Matters
Religious trauma isn’t just about being told you’re going to hell. It’s about:
- Being taught to fear your own intuition
- Feeling shame for asking questions
- Being silenced, gaslit, or punished for thinking differently
- Internalizing unworthiness, guilt, or sin
You can believe in God, Christ, or any loving presence without subscribing to systems that harmed you. Jesus himself was often at odds with religious institutions. He stood for love, truth, and human dignity—not fear, control, or blind obedience.
Where I Stand Now
My maternal grandmother was deeply religious—she would kneel by her bed to pray every night. With all the confusion and pain I experienced in my childhood, especially related to my father, her faith became an anchor for me. She once told me, “The devil doesn’t want to see you pray, so always pray at bedtime and you’ll fall asleep fast.” To this day, that has stayed with me. My bedtime ritual is sacred: a blend of prayer, Reiki, and energy healing. I believe we do soul work while we sleep, and bedtime is when the veil is thinnest—when we are closest to God.
I still pray. I still talk to God. I still feel the presence of something greater when I’m in nature, with my clients, or when a synchronistic moment takes my breath away. But I don’t belong to a church, and I don’t follow a set doctrine. I walk a path of integrity, healing, and deep spiritual connection rooted in love—not fear.
For me, that’s enough. And for you, your path gets to be yours too.
Helpful Tools for Healing Religious Wounds
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I be spiritual and still believe in Jesus?
Absolutely. Spirituality isn’t about abandoning your faith—it’s about reclaiming it without fear, shame, or imposed dogma. You can love Jesus and not follow church doctrine. Many of us do.
What if I feel conflicted or confused?
That’s normal. Deconstruction takes time. Give yourself permission to question, explore, and feel everything that arises. You’re not alone.
Is religious trauma real even if no one meant to hurt me?
Yes. Even well-meaning teachings can harm if they silence your voice or disconnect you from yourself. Your pain is valid, and your healing matters.
If you’re navigating healing from religious trauma, here are a few gentle and powerful tools that can help support you:
Modalities for Emotional and Spiritual Support:
- Emotion Code and Thought Field Therapy (TFT): Energy-based techniques that help clear trapped emotional patterns at their root.
- Court of Atonement: A soul-level process for restoring peace, resolving spiritual conflicts, and releasing old vows or ties.
- Journaling or voice notes: Let your inner voice be heard—especially when it was once silenced.
- Inner child work and nervous system support: Reparenting your wounded parts and creating safety within.
If this resonates, you’re not alone. Healing is possible. And there is spiritual life beyond fear.
Quotes to Reflect On
“Jesus didn’t come to start a religion. He came to awaken the divine within.”
“Religion is about fear. Spirituality is about love.”
“God is too big to fit into one religion.” – Unknown
“You are not broken. You are breaking open.”
“The Kingdom of God is within you.” – Luke 17:21
“Prayer is when you talk to God. Intuition is when God talks to you.”
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You are not broken. You are remembering who you really are.
– Ladybug Love, Jackie