Life has been in full swing this year, and summer flew by in a blink. We had mom’s birthday in May, then from June 20 th on, we had a major event almost every week.

The highlights:

Mom’s 80 th birthday road trip, Terrace BC May 2 to 5 2025
Happy Gang Seniors Centre. Saturday May 3 2025, Sunday drive up Kalum Lake highway to the Drowned Forest, coffee date with high school friends Fiona and Kelly, and Ninja restaurant to satiate Melissa’s cravings.

May 20 2025, a few days of recognizing my birthday with family dinners and numerous messages from dear friends.

Valhallafest June 20th-22nd
Valhalla Festival Road Trip Terrace BC June 19 to 23
Supporting Melissa’s manning her Honeybee Inspirations booth over the 3 days, camping, and the car scratch oopsie.

Lejac Residential school reunion, June 27 and 28 2025: we were humbly honored to be invited to support these special souls as they came together to celebrate the theme of Friendship and to honor those friends loved, lost, and reunited through their experiences.

BCNE Renaissance faire July 26-27
Yekooche Nation Wellness Day July 28 2025
40th Highschool reunion Terrace BC August 1-4
Sakred Circles August 8-10
BCNE August 14-17
Robson Valley Music Festival August 29-31

I did write out notes to share, once I get them organized, I will share here 😊

December 31 2024

“May the tears shed in 2024 water the seeds we cultivate in 2025”.

“Just a reminder that 2025 is starting with WTF: Wealth Transformation Freedom”.

“Choose to pursue and love yourself. Focus on become the healthiest, happiest, most healed, most present, most confident version of yourself”

Where did the whole year of 2024 go? It seems I blinked and now we are on the eve of a brand-new year.

On one hand I feel like so much in my life has upgraded and improved, albeit not without some struggles and strife, but I feel so exhilarated with “what’s next?”.

You will find some posts within my website detailing the highlights of this past year. Most notably my birthday trip to visit Raymon Grace in Abingdon Virginia in May 2024 and manifesting a new-to-me F150 truck. This truck now sports ladybug spots, and I am having way too much fun turning heads in my new ride!
I was able to assist in orphan bear transports a few times. (Yes, real wild bear cubs! Page coming at some point…)

We had a beautiful new patio and deck installed this past summer. Some lesser-known details: daughter Melissa moved into a new home, we have had to upgrade some appliances and furniture. While some of these events and transitions were mighty stressful for my Taurus grounded stability nature, my dear friend Gerri suggested a different perspective.
All of these upgrades and changes were “Foundational” events! They are about a baseline for me, and upgrades that can represent new beginnings and a foundation on which to build up bigger and better in every area of my life.
I love that concept!

Another take on this is that the more I work on myself and my own foundations, the more stable and effective I can be in being supportive in better serving my growing clientele.

What does that mean for you? Those that are already connected with me know that I offer numerous compilations and resources here in my website.
I am all about self-empowerment and this aligns so well with the current and upcoming global consciousness energies.

I have a lot of pondering thoughts going on in my head.

In many of the social media forums, there is an underlying fear of global events with numerous conspiracy type posts of fear mongering. I tend to avoid those kinds of posts, people, and groups with such negative low energy vibrations.

At my May training, I learned that you can test for yourself the integrity of companies, groups, people etc. before interacting with them. (This was also a lesson learned for me yet again in 2024 with certain service workers I had to let go of).
I choose to follow some very encouraging intuitives. My choices of whom to follow depends on how much their information feels aligned with Divine Truth. (I keep an updated list in my practitioner recommendations page).

From these intuitives, I have learned about the scientific planetary alignments and how these astrological influences affect humans. I have learned more about these increasing earth energy vibrations and how solar flares have been affecting us as well. I have become more aware of my own intuitive sensing of global energy shifts. I would rather not admit how often I need power naps with these earth energy surges; however, this is all a part of the ascension energies and our soul evolution paths and, well, sleep time is healing time.

While I am not adept at explaining these phenomena as succinctly as the intuitives I follow, I can direct others to those insightful posts. (See pages listed below for further reading)
Collectively, I understand that we are in a time of great shifts in humanity, transferring more “power to the people”. A time of powerful manifestations, and a tipping point of humanity becoming awakened to their spiritual paths and now actively participating in their own soul evolution that contributes to global consciousness shifts.

Can you feel the electricity in the air? The energetic resonance of miracles on the horizon?

In getting to this point of Heaven on Earth, we have been going through so much material and emotional purging. A surrendering of the past and anything that no longer serves us. The residual energies of the 3rd dimension patriarchal strife are transitioning to the 5th dimension place of infinite possibilities and miracles.

It appears these next few months may be a continuation of this purging cycle. A time where truths may be uncovered, perhaps shocking cognitive dissonance for some. I feel like we may see a lot of “false prophets” coming to light. You may know that this is a personal peeve for me due to my own past experiences and now assisting many clients to overcome the damages left from those masquerading behind a holistic façade. Just because someone promotes themselves as a healer, spiritual leader, or holistic practitioner, does not mean they are truly authentic and aligned with Divine Truth. Yes, there are some out there more based in greed, ego, and personal gains. Discernment is definitely needed.

Curious question: How many emails and posts have come across your awareness in the last few days promoting programs and new years resolutions as if turning the page on a date on the calendar is all that is needed for a new beginning? Yet again discernment is needed to vet out the authenticity of these offers and what will truly work for you. My personal opinion is that everyone should take some training in basic marketing ploys that play on human nature to manipulate us into scenarios that may not be best for us. I’d love to avoid those harsh life lessons and regrets, wouldn’t you?
Too many dates on the calendar and events through the year have been so bastardized and commercialized. The need for personal discernment in the age of technology and information overload is at an all-time high.

Here is my next thought: is it really a date on the calendar that will bring the biggest shifts? It is a planetary alignment? Or is it that we need to turn inward to find our sovereignty, inner peace, and personal power?

An analogy that came up recently suggested that if you were to be offered a million dollars today, with the only stipulation that you could not wake up tomorrow, would you take the money?
If your answer is NO, then does that mean that waking up tomorrow is worth a million dollars (or more) to you?
Every day that we wake up on the right side of the daisies should be considered a miracle and blessing in itself.

This concept hits home harder for those who have lost loved ones and now cherish the bittersweet sanctity of life.

(Have you ever heard of the Dash poem? https://dashaccessandinclusion.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Dash-Poem-Printable.pdf
Also saved in my extensive collection of resources).

To me, this is a valuable reason to embrace self-empowerment and personal growth. Not only on this New Year’s Day transition, but on any day of the year. Every day can be a new beginning, and a clean slate to create our best life.

After an 18-month hiatus, I recently returned to sending out monthly newsletters again. I have received so many wonderful “welcome back” replies, well wishes, and endearing messages. Thank you so much! I am truly blessed with the most amazing like-minded souls in my life.
I have learned that the more I embrace and empower my uniquely quirky authentic self, the more incredible souls I attract into my life. (This may also filter out some of the all too serious, limited thinking types).

My approach with my clients and followers is not to coerce you into a lengthy structured or limited program, but to offer you resources that I have found beneficial for myself and to encourage you to heighten and make use of your own intuitive senses in what works best for you. I find that “following the energy” and taking what works for you personally is the best method of action. Then, I am always here if you want more targeted private sessions with me.
Yes, I do offer training courses and clearing videos which are more designed as a launching pad for your personal empowerment journey. My intention is to continue to create and share more of these resources for you through the next year and beyond.

I look forward to collaborating with you through 2025 in creating our best lives both personally and collectively.
Let’s Thrive in 2025!

Wishing you the very best blessing now and always!

Jackie, your Friendly Rockin’ Ladybug!

More pages to check out:

The Ascension Process: Transition from 3rd to 5th Dimension:
https://ladybugwellness.ca/the-ascension-process-transition-from-3rd-to-5th-dimension/

Practitioner Recommendations:
https://ladybugwellness.ca/practitioner-recommendations/

Ladybug Wellness Resources and Downloads
https://ladybugwellness.ca/lbw-resources/

*************************

As I am always sharing writings that had an impact for me, here are a few more:

Here are 11 ways to make the most of 2025:
Don’t glorify busy
Rest like you mean it
Stop all perfectionism
Slow down to think clearly
Make your growth a priority
Focus on flowing, not forcing
Schedule in more fun with friends
Gift yourself more joyful moments
When you love someone, tell them
Remember that storms are temporary
Be creative when you feel it, don’t wait

*******************
If you have not yet heard of this insightful poet, do look him up:

John Roedel December 29 2024
“MY 2025 PRAYER
if 2024 was the silent quivering seed
~ 2025 will be the wild raging bloom
if in 2024 you were grounded to Earth
in 2025 you’ll fast tango on the moon
in 2024 you shouted all your cold words
in 2025 your voice will be summer rain
in 2024 you believed that you were broken
in 2025 you’ll break the wheel of shame
2024 was the year of the clenched fists
2025 will be the era of pardoned sins
2024 was when tried to hide your light
2025 you’ll glow outside of your skin
2024 wanted to divide us into teams
2025 feels like kindness will multiply
2024 sounded like a rusty chainsaw
2025 will be a soft midnight lullaby
2024 is fading away like a tire fire
2025 is holding flowers on your porch
in 2024 we had more ammo than people
in 2025 we can choose empathy over war
my love, hold my so hand tightly
as the calendar year gently restarts
as 2025 arrives, let’s drop our armor
and entangle all of our lonely hearts”

**************************

Why do we start a new year, with promises to improve?
Who began this tradition of never-ending pressure?
I say, the end of a year, should be filled with congratulation, for all we survived.
And I say a new year should start with promises to be kinder to ourselves, to understand better just how much we bear, as humans on this exhausting treadmill of life.

And if we are to promise more, let’s pledge to rest, before our bodies force us.
Let’s pledge to stop, and drink in life as it happens.
Let’s pledge to strip away a layer of perfection to reveal the flawed and wondrous humanity we truly are inside.

Why start another year, gifted to us on this earth, with demands on our already over-strained humanity.
When we could be learning to accept, that we were always supposed to be imperfect.
And that is where the beauty lives, actually.
And if we can only find that beauty, we would also find peace.

I wish you peace in 2024.
Everything else is all just a part of it.
Let it be so.

Donna Ashworth

********************
Yes I had some assistance from ChatGPT to succinctly write this cluster paragraph expressing some closing sentiments about this transition from 2024 to 202THRIVE! I am embracing more technology while doing my best to retain my authenticity as well.

“As we close the chapter on 2024, it’s fascinating to reflect on the energy of this transformative year. In numerology, 2024 was an “8 year,” a year deeply intertwined with the concepts of abundance, infinity, and karmic cycles. The number 8, with its perfectly balanced, symmetrical shape, serves as a reminder of the continuous flow of energy and the unbreakable connection between beginnings and endings.

The number 8 represents prosperity, financial success, and material wealth, but it also calls for accountability and balance. It is often regarded as a karmic Universal Number, symbolizing a time to settle debts—both literal and energetic. For many, this year may have been a journey of rediscovering personal power, leadership, and resilience in the face of challenges. In traditional Chinese medicine, the energy of the first eight years of life is governed by the Kidney energy—a time of rapid growth and development. Similarly, 2024 has been a year for growth, achievement, and cultivating inner strength.

As we step into 2025, we transition into a “9 year” in numerology. The number 9 carries the energy of completion, transformation, and the beginning of a new cycle. It’s a time to close chapters, clear what no longer serves, and prepare for fresh beginnings. A “9 year” encourages us to embrace change, stand in our authenticity, and build on values that foster trust, integrity, and purpose.

2025 is poised to be a year of significant transitions. On both individual and collective levels, we will face challenges that test our adaptability and commitment to positive evolution. The old systems—whether political, social, or personal—are crumbling to make way for a new era. This shift aligns with the Aquarian ideals of innovation, connection, and equality.

In a world overflowing with noise and distractions, 2025 asks us to center ourselves in peace, stillness, and sovereignty. By staying grounded and connected to our own truth, we can navigate the volatility with clarity and purpose. It’s time to prioritize real connections, honest work, and meaningful contributions. Let’s leave behind the superficiality and celebrate voices and actions that inspire genuine growth.

As we prepare for this “new beginning,” let’s embrace the lessons of 2024: balance, abundance, and accountability. Together, we can step confidently into 202Thrive, creating a future grounded in authenticity and fueled by infinite possibilities”.

Also note: The Year of the Dragon (in the Chinese Calendar) will be ending January 29 when we enter into the Year of the Snake. Please look up a zodiac animal table if you’d like to confirm which animal is associated with your birth year. (Remember that Chinese New Years is around the end of January each year, so you may want to check your specific birth year to confirm with which animal your year is associated.)

I find that looking up the metaphysical, symbolic, and energetic meanings to pretty much everything in life can enhance our knowledge and understanding in navigating this process of life.

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from. ~T.S. Eliot

August 6 2024

I manifested a new-to-me TRUCK!!

This is such an exciting story! I just have to share what happened as I am still in a happy state of OMIGOSH I now have a pretty new truck! I was manifesting, then BOOM, it’s here!

Of course, there is always a little back story to show just how spectacularly this new truck came to be…

A couple years ago, my old Uplander minivan was getting a little expensive to repair. I had asked intuitively how much longer I would have that van. My answer was “two years”, meaning 2024. With that in mind, I suppose I had started “putting it out there” to find a new-to-me vehicle. In 2023, after a particularly frustrating repair bill, I wrote out my concerns and frustrations in a blog post, with a stipulation of looking to purchase sometime over the next year. (That writing is bottom of page here).
I immediately had some well-meaning friends send me several suggestions of “what about this one”. I unpublished the post. I knew the timing was not ready yet, and I wasn’t even sure what I wanted.

Through 2023 road trips, I again was frustrated with the back door getting jammed and the AC not working. The repair shop had looked at these issues and the costs were just not worth it for me.

In summer of 2023, I obtained a piece of Moldavite, known as the stone of transformation. Very high vibration, kinda like getting a Reiki attunement.
Fast forward to May of 2024 when my daughter Melissa decided it was time to upgrade her Rav 4. I had gone with her to test drive and look at vehicles. I was looking for myself as well, but still undecided as to what I really wanted. An SUV? I wasn’t feeling it. I had a truck in the back of my mind. I figured I would look more seriously after my birthday trip.

Melissa purchased a Nissan Rogue just days before I left on my birthday trip to a Raymon Grace training class in Virginia.
I manifested that trip. Read that story here: https://ladybugwellness.ca/manifesting-the-best-birthday-with-raymon-grace/

When I arrived in Virginia, my friend Lisa picked me up in her new Ford F150. It was NICE!! My feelers sure perked up on checking out the details. She gave me some daisy stickers that she also has on her truck.
At the training class, Raymon talked about how he has manifested suitable vehicles without taking out loans. I took some pointers.
I also realized that two local friends have F150s and love them. My snow plow guy has a F350. I also remembered that my buddy Jamie years ago had a standard 80’s style F150. Back in party days, I drove his truck lots. He used to tease me that I drove it like a semi.

Through June 2024, I was doing some more intuitive asking whether I would be taking the Uplander on my upcoming road trips the end of June and in August. Yes to the June trip, no to the August trips. Hmmmm… Sometimes my intuitive answers can be so confusing when I cannot see how things will fall into place, but I have learned to trust it.

Before the July 1st Canada Day long weekend trip to Terrace Valhalla festival, I purchased some more moldavite and some hypersthene. Hypersthene is known as the manifestation stone, apparently so lucky that it is banned in some of the world’s casinos. Get me some of that!! I keep a small piece in my wallet.

I should mention here that I stopped in at Terrace Ford dealership. The fellow I talked to immediately started asking questions about financing. Not impressed! I wanted to figure out what exactly I wanted before talking financing. Back home again, my friend Amy suggested I “build a truck” on the Ford website to solidify manifesting what I wanted.

Back to the frustrations. I had taken the seats out of the van for camping. My son had put them in the basement. They are big, heavy, and awkward to move up and down the stairs. He was leaving back to work and we actually got into an argument over having to move those seats back into the van before he left. I told him this was the LAST time to move them. Ever.

Here is where it gets exciting…
Melissa was holding a reflexology training weekend July 13 to 15th. I decided to go get a pedicure on Thursday July 11 2024. While out on errands, I also filled up the van with $115. worth of gas. My clients were booked later in the day so I figured I would just stop in at Prince George Ford dealership to have a look since I had some time then.

Steve Allan welcomed me at the door. A fellow redhead, he was friendly and accommodating with all my questions. My non negotiables were F150, RED, 4×4. There are several trim package options for F150s. I wanted practical and affordable. Steve showed me a few options, then we took a red 2024 F150 for a test drive.

He had asked me about what I do with Ladybug Wellness. In my explanation, I told him about how I was manifesting a vehicle. I explained about the reticular activating system in our brains that is like a repeat button. As I explain to clients, “If I say ‘yellow car’, you have that idea in your head, then you will start to see yellow cars everywhere as they pop out at you”. I set out to find a red F150 and now they seem to pop up everywhere, but I needed to find the right one for me.
The 2024 truck felt awfully big. There was a huge console in the middle. It was nice, but just didn’t feel right.
We arrived back at the lot and there in front of us was a big yellow truck. Steve had a laugh.

What I liked about Steve is that he didn’t try to sell me a vehicle. He seemed interested to figure out what I wanted first. He compared trim packages and features with me and we looked through their lot inventory. I liked the console that flipped into a middle seat option. I told him I actually wanted a 2020 to 2023 model (This is the best financial advice to skip the vast depreciation of new vehicles).
We took a walk through the used car lot and Steve showed me a few trucks and their options. There was a red truck at the back of the lot. I asked about that one. He said it had just been brought in, not even had inspection or cleaning. It had the middle seat and was a 2019 for $31,888. (Angel numbers?)
I had to get home to my client appointments, so I arranged to take that 2019 out for a test drive on Friday morning. Just tossing some numbers, they offered me $500 for the Uplander. The book value was $3600. but she needed some work, obviously. Remember I just put $115 of gas in there as well.
I went home, took some pics of the van and posted on Marketplace for $2500. I had extra tires to go with it too. Once posted, I edited to $1500 “immediate sale, best offer takes it”, and shared to several sale groups. I figured anything more than the $500 trade in offer was good enough. I really didn’t want the headache of trying to sell it for any kind of value. She had served me well over the past 16 years.
I had a few messages but no serious immediate interest. Then there was a desperate message from a young mom saying she has been trying to “manifest” a vehicle for her pile of kids. She offered $1000. saying she would definitely take it and had a mechanic friend to address any issues. Perfect!!!

On Friday morning, I met with Steve to take the 2019 truck for a test drive. We picked up Melissa and took it for a spin up the Hart highway. A little shimmy noise would be addressed in the pending inspection. On the window sticker details, the milage was listed at 111,660 KM. That was actually wrong. As we were driving, I excited told Melissa to get her camera ready. She caught a pic just as the odometer flipped to 111,333.0! Angel numbers again!! This is MY truck!
We dropped off Melissa and went back to the office to discuss financing and put down a deposit to hold over the weekend so it could go for inspection. Yes, it is a 2019, but in later discussions with friends, we noted that the 2020 vehicles had some supply chain issues, so I am happy to have avoided that potential problem. Proof to me that my angel team is working on my behalf to find the best vehicle for me.
I went home and packed up all the van parts and tires etc. to deliver it all to this young mom. Everything was happening so fast! We were literally in the middle of signing the transfer papers when I got a call from Ford: “Congratulations, you’re approved, see you Tuesday 11 am”. (WHEW!!!!!!!!).

I felt a little naked and dependent over that weekend not having a vehicle at all, but looking forward to Tuesday July 16 2024 when I could go in to sign all the paperwork. Tuesday came quickly, thankfully. My truck has all sorts of warranty extras and a long financing term. I did manage to manifest my perfect truck, but didn’t manifest Raymon’s “no financing”. Perhaps that will come later.
I had to arrange to get running boards installed because Melissa was teasing that I would need a monkey swing to get up in there otherwise. We also arranged a proper “sold” cleaning a week later.
I have been getting used to driving it, and backing into my driveway. It has a fancy display, lots of cubbies for stuff, and I fit across the back seat well enough for camping. My list of requirements has been met sufficiently.

In the three weeks I have had her, I have managed to pull over in order to get an odometer pic of 111,444.0 and 111,555.0. and 111,666.9. There was a bus behind me so I couldn’t pull over for that last one to get .0, but I got angel numbers as my sign that this is MY truck and everything unfolded so divinely perfect. Another interesting thing: most F150’s have a shiny chrome front grill. My truck was previously painted matte black, which kinda makes it look more like ladybug colors.

I posted on social media when I brought her home. Daughter Chantelle posted a meme “Do you solemnly swear to stay in your lane, your whole lane, and nothing but your lane”. She is apparently a little uneasy with me driving a big truck lol. The funny thing is that F150s look small from behind.

All my other vehicles have had names. Someone asked me the name for this new truck. I immediately said “Ladybug 1”, but I am reconsidering that name as I have been driving her. When I figure out what she wants for a name, I will let you know.

One last thing to mention, I have been infusing the energies of Moldavite and Hypersthene for everyone lately. I have also learned that Moldavite has names. I have three pieces. Their names are “Destiny”, “Romance”, and “Divine Beginnings”.
Quite fitting for all that is going on in my life and coming in my near future.

I just have to get “truck” into my vocabulary rather than “van” lol.

With all the warranty package I have on this truck, I will lose out on my previous mechanic Jeff as the truck will be going to Ford Service. I bought my truck before it had all the final inspection and proper “sold” cleaning. This means that in the 3 weeks I have had my new to me vehicle, I have been back for a few service appointments because they didn’t get it all done the first time. I certainly hope this is not telling of their future services. Steve said it is “the joys of buying a used vehicle”. Nope, that is your belief, and disorganized poor service. I don’t accept that as an excuse, thanks. I purposely buy my vehicles from a dealership with a reputation to uphold so that they take care of things properly and efficiently, the first time. I have not ever had a problem with this expectation in the past.
I am trusting that they will come through and do better from now on. Cuz I love my new truck 😊

August 19 2024: Update: I went to a Sakred Women’s festival August 9th weekend and my truck was amazing! Tunes, GPS display, and I slept in the back seat comfortably! This was a 3.5-hour road trip each way.
Then, I was able to assist with an orphan bear cub transport for another 8-hour road trip there and back. I have put my name forward to volunteer previously but a minivan was not a great transport vehicle. However, my truck is amazing and I hope to be able to assist this worthy cause more in the future.
Also, Steve at PG Ford has been wonderful in taking care of the little concerns that have popped up in my settling in to my truck.
I love my truck 😊

__________________________________
My previous post looking for a new to me vehicle:
May 17 2023

Note: I am putting this out now to manifest a new to me vehicle by 2024. My current vehicle still runs very well, and I would like to get as much as I can out of her before giving her up for something new.

After today’s atrocious repair bill, which was more paying for diagnostics than actual repair, it is time to put it out to the universe to find a new vehicle.

I just recently spent $2500 for all new brakes before my last road trip in March, but todays bill was pretty frustrating as the dealership charges ghastly shop fees for diagnostics before getting to actual repairs. I love my mechanic dearly, so I go where he goes, but I am pretty sure he is just as disheartened as me with repairing this old vehicle that truly has served me well until now.

I have numerous stories of my road trips, camping trips, and concert adventures that will eventually end up in a memoir. I’ll share a few details below so you get an idea what I am looking for in a new-to-me vehicle in the near future.

In years past, I would have asked my late SIL Larry for advice on purchasing a new to me vehicle as he was a manager at Craftsman Collision and very much in-the-know of good vehicles.

Hence, reluctantly, it is time….
I am putting it out there for some time in the next year to purchase a new to me vehicle.

Any advice and or recommendations welcome.
Features and factors I am looking for:

Mainly, INDEPENDENCE!! That is super important for me. With “ease and grace”, and something that can handle ME, a feisty redhead with a propensity to take off on spontaneous adventures.

Gotta be RED (ladybug color, of course!). There are also safety reasons for wanting Red as a vehicle as statistically there are lower accident events with more visibility.

Practical yet I appreciate fully loaded options.

V6 engine. I appreciate power and good gas mileage.

Four wheel or all-wheel drive. That is something I sorely have missed from the old Aerostar.

90 L gas tank capacity. I like being able to go long distances without fill ups.

Fold down/ tuck away seats.

Lots of cubbies to store stuff. My vehicle is like my traveling suitcase.

Normal windshield wipers. (See uplander issues below).

3 to 4 years old. This has been great financial advice in getting a vehicle that has bypassed the depreciation but still has some warranty left. I have had two great purchases using this advice in acquiring vehicles that were a decent price with fully loaded options.

As you can see with my stories below, I keep vehicles for a LONG time. I had avoided imports as parts are usually more expensive or hard to come by. That factor may have changed over the years. I am looking for reliable with inexpensive repair costs. Yes, I know that is asking a lot, but I have been privileged and blessed so far, so I have reasonable expectations as well.

Something I can live in… I tend to spend a lot of time with long road trips and highway Zen.
My vehicles have got to be able to handle me and my adventures and be sleep worthy if need be. I have hauled firewood, gone camping etc.

I don’t necessarily need a lot of seats anymore, but I am used to having room to camp and haul whatever my little heart desires. I do not like to be dependent on anyone with a truck, so I need a vehicle that can accommodate me.

I may add more requirements as I think of them…

*****************************************************************

Of course, you’re going to get some excerpts of Jackie stories as background info and reasons why I want and need a reliable vehicle.

I had been busy being a teen mom so I had carried a learner’s license a few times but never had much practice to actually get my full license. Learning to drive with my mom, dad, or my then husband Ray… well… those stories will be in an upcoming memoir. Suffice to say I did not get a full license at age 16 when most people do.

Ray and I had split for two years at my age 20 and it was only when I had been dating Marcos B. that he had enough patience to teach me how to drive his huge boat of a car, a Pontiac Biscayne. I finally got my full license in April 1989 when I was 22 years old, with two small kids in tow. My mom was away for a month caring for my great aunt before she passed in June 1989, so I had privileged use of a small hatchback car with no gas gauge for a few weeks. Going from an automatic to a standard was a jolting experience. More stories to come…

My first car was a Pontiac Acadian with a firebird decal on the hood. Ray bought it for me when we rekindled our marriage in late 1989 while he was living in New Brunswick. That little car managed to get our family from New Brunswick to British Columbia on a several days road trip in the dead of winter. I didn’t actually have that car in my name though which was fine because Ray “contaminated” the back seat of that car with an ex-girlfriend and I wanted nothing to do with it afterwards. It was a fun little car to drive though.
These days, being so aware of energy vibration, I understand my aversion to that car now, and the point here is I am looking for a high energy vibration vehicle.

Later we had some panel vans for our Carpet Doctor business, a Chev S10 that was super fun to drive, and a 1990s SUV type Ranger/ Explorer.

My first vehicle in my name was a black Monte Carlo 80s version that I bought off my roommate Brad. We called her Bouncing Betty’s Rollercoaster. Oh, we have stories….
Unfortunately, she got taken off the road because of an irreparable cracked frame. When I moved to PG, I had regrets of unloading that car and wished I could have used it for hit to pass racing.

In 1998, roommate Brad had scored a great deal on a vehicle from the Terrace Ford Dealer, so I tried my luck looking into a Dodge minivan on their lot. Instead, I was approved on a Saturday special landing a 1995 Ford Aerostar XLT all-wheel drive, fully loaded with fold down seats. She earned the name Ol’ Bessie. I had her for 10 years, and again, … oh the stories we have to tell.
I loved that van. Fun to drive, hardly ever got stuck, sooo many family adventures and road trips.
She had power steering, power windows, power mirrors, extended length, and lots of cubbies to store stuff.

I had moved to Prince George in 2001, and soon found a great mechanic, Quentin C. He was my guardian angel for several years as he worked in a couple different shops. He kept on fixing what he called “the van that never stops”, until one day he told me the Aerostar wasn’t worth fixing anymore. Ol’ Bessie owed us nothing when I finally sold her – mostly for parts — in 2008.

Quentin gave me pointers on buying a new vehicle but I found out later he had actually pulled some strings to get me into a nice new-to-me 2005 fully loaded Chev Uplander LT in 2008. His mom knew the owner of the dealership so they dropped $5000 of the lot price of $21,000. Through collaboration with some friends, we named the Uplander “Quentessa, my lucky charm” as tribute to Quentin assisting me in acquiring her.

“Quentessa” means essence/ creative/ sassy, which fits me and my personality.

After Quentin moved away from regular mechanics, I was blessed to find Jeff D and he has been my regular mechanic since 2010. He has moved shops a few times, but he knows to let me know where he is and I will be faithful following him. Like any professional service provider, when you find a good one, you hang on to them!!

It is now May 2023. The Uplander has served me well with numerous road trips, adventures, and moving anything from furniture to firewood. Being fully loaded, there is an entertainment center in the back (DVD player), extra storage space with an extended rear hatch, and a power side door which we have loved for the convenience.

Although I have had the Uplander for many years, there are a couple things that I do not like and wish to find different in a new vehicle:
1. The windshield wipers are weird with both spanning outwards, the fluid is attached to the wiper arm, and they are also tucked in which can be a benefit in cold weather, but also a nuisance for getting at them to exchange or fix.
2. The seats are a pain in the royal behind! I appreciated the Aerostar fold down seats. The Uplander has huge bulky seats that are a pain to remove easily. I would like to have something that folds down flat or tucks away somehow.
3. The design of the windshield slope and the frame design makes for blind spot issues and way too many rock chip repairs.

I suppose I will need to sell my Uplander at some point as well…

Quite often in my conversations with clients, friends, etc., I am asked “How are you?”. My musings in my website are a lengthier version of sharing my own life lessons and experiences to offer you encouragement and ideas for your own journey through life. 😊
*****************

The turn of the New Year is generally a time for reflection and rebirth. Every day we wake up can be a new day of reflection and rebirth, but for purposes here, I am reflecting on the past year and looking forward to the new year 2024.

I looked back on my writings for the new year of 2023 and now, I feel I could almost write the same musings, only better.
Here is a look back at my 2023 new year musings page: https://ladybugwellness.ca/new-years-theme-2023-transformation/

I had talked about how some people choose a word for the new year but sometimes a theme is better to align with. I had chosen “transformation” as my theme for 2023. Oh boy, oh boy, did that ever happen!!
I recently saw an engagement post asking about a word to describe how 2023 had ended. A reflective word.
For me, that word would be UPLEVELING.

Back in October, I had written about all the crazy things that seemed to be happening IN and around me. Yup, my body was doing some weird stuff and my brain took a holiday without me, it seemed. Thank God for my energy balancing skills!!
https://ladybugwellness.ca/navigating-the-changes-of-life-menopause-and-brain-fog/

An essential entrepreneurial skill is being able to look back to see where we have progressed and where we need to focus improvement. Through my time in the Story Athlete community, I found the best areas to reflect on overall are Mind, Body, Business, and Relationships. I would have to say that I think I upleveled in all areas.

Looking back and reflecting on my 2023 overall:

I had started off the year participating in the Story Athlete GRIT challenge through January, February, and April. I am super grateful for everything I have learned through being a member of this entrepreneurial community since 2020. Unfortunately, many of my former friends and connections made there have moved on to other things so I also dropped away from regular participation within SA.  This feeling of disconnection and separation has continued through the year in one sense, yet I have also gained so many more connections of amazing like-minded souls. I suppose more of a life goals alignment kind of thing is all I can explain there.
Outside of SA, I committed to a steps challenge with my friend Joe Tedesco from GRIT. This was my effort in supporting him to train for a marathon later in the year. We kept up enthusiastically for a while, until I got sidetracked and busy with other things and he suffered a knee injury.

As mentioned in the end of my 2023 writing, to begin this year, I was scheduled for a colonoscopy. Just a routine procedure to find any medical reasons for this stubborn weight gain. The day I went to the hospital was January 6 2023. I realized too late this date was the full moon in the midst of Mercury Retrograde. Talk about panic to clear my energy and the hospital!!! Surprisingly, the procedure and my hospital experience went very well.

The only issue was that I have not been put under anesthesia in over 20 years. Drugs can knock our spirit out of our bodies… and that is exactly what happened. I understand that potential energetic imbalance and I had blocked off my client calendar for a week around this procedure.
While recuperating and still under the influence of the anesthesia, I responded to messages about some drama brewing in a group I participate in. Let’s just say that everything backfired as I exposed myself energetically to this debacle.

2023, for me, was a lot of lessons in realizing and respecting my own boundaries.

Then in February, I went for a follow up MRI scan that required drinking a nasty chemical solution. Again, my energetic boundaries took a beating and I had some more experiences with less than savory type situations and people.
I should know better, and yes, I am so thankful for my energy balancing skills that I was able to recognize all this and get myself back on track quickly. (FYI, all medical tests came back just fine, no pressing health issues whatsoever). 
At the time, I had perceived these experiences as a setback, yet, they also heightened my intuition. I was prompted to share about my own dreams and premonitions here: https://ladybugwellness.ca/precognitive-dreams-premonitions-intuition-and-those-gut-feelings/

I am so grateful for my network of practitioner friends. I have had my own sessions throughout the year in advancing my own personal growth and raising my energetic vibration. I always have my regular monthly sessions with Sue V.
More recently, I have also been working with Tom Heintz with a focus on his weight release protocol. As with client sessions, my own sessions have been super fascinating. I have shared openly some of these experiences so my clients and anyone else interested can see the miracles of energy balancing unfold.
I find it quite fascinating to notice that many of us practitioners have similar tools, yet we are all unique in our gifts and how we apply these tools within sessions.
See bottom of page: https://ladybugwellness.ca/practitioner-recommendations/

After five years of waiting, Amy Jo finally launched the inaugural certification program for (FCOA) Court of Atonement on March 1st. The program is 6 weeks long. I have worked with this material from the beginning, yet going through the course, I was catapulted into a whole other deeper level of healing the past. Fascinating, enthralling, yet, — I admit — not very fun or comfortable. But well worth it!

I did get behind a bit on the FCOA course as my mom and I took a road trip to Vancouver in March to finally use our 2020 tickets for Shen Yun, a captivating Chinese performing arts production.
While spending time with my mom, we used the Otter.ai app to transcribe some reminiscing conversations and memories. I have been recommending this method to several people who are wanting to write and share their own life stories.
I figured out how to align myself with Divine Timing and managed to catch up on the FCOA course to completion.

Of all the trainings and certifications I have behind me, I got pretty choked up shedding some happy tears when I received that certification. Whether you are already an experienced practitioner, or fairly new to the world of energy healing, I highly recommend this course. Just do it. https://www.courtofatonement.com/team-3

Along with all the fast-paced craziness in March, I also had an issue with my email marketing platform. After three years membership, and just when my business was expanding so much, this platform failed me in customer service and glitching issues. I pulled out all my information and data, and left it behind.
Remember what I said about feeling disconnected? Ya. A little more amplified then.

Thankfully I have other avenues of contact with Ladybug Wellness connections. This leads me to the real upleveling experiences of the past year.

In January 2023, I had popped onto one of Tom Heintz’s webinar meetings. In that class discussion, Tom asked me to lead/ teach the next meeting. (WHAAAAT??? ME??). Have you read my milestones story? Yeah… well, I led the next two meetings. One on grief trauma and the other on overcoming sexual abuse. Heavy topics they were, but very well received.

Next, I was invited to take on a more regular volunteer host position with Tucson Dowsers meetings. I have been acting as chat monitor and admittance assistant each month since March 2023.
I have had to work through a lot of my camera exposure, video, and visibility fear issues on a grand scale through 2023!!

Following my intuitive guidance, I started learning more and making use of my YouTube channel. There are now several energy clearing videos, and playlists of favorite recommendations.
This has created a whole new area of connection and exposure for myself and Ladybug Wellness.

My daughter Melissa and I held an in person/ online training day with the Black Pearl Technique. This went well and gave me ideas and encouragement to create this training course as an online option. I have had to learn to make my own videos and how to edit them as well. Upleveling techie skills. This project is still in the making…

Tucson dowsers always has the most incredible guest speakers each month. This is a wonderful source of learning, engagement, and connection with such amazing souls. I accepted an invite to be the guest speaker for December 2023. I chose to speak on hormone balancing. I had no idea how this event and experience would become my professional highlight of the entire year.
https://ladybugwellness.ca/balancing-hormones-tucson-webinar/

Since the Tucson presentation, my scheduler has been pinging regularly with all sorts of incredible new clients, and more speaking engagement requests. So many like minded souls out there and they have found me!

I have to share a personal funny here. Do you remember the children’s movie “Ice Age”? My kids had seen this movie at the theatre with friends. When they came home, they enthusiastically told me that I am “Scrat”.
Who the heck is Scrat?? (Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAmIHa-Rztg )
I called a friend who worked at a movie store and asked her. She burst out laughing and agreed with my kids. The nickname stuck.
Yes, that ancient squirrel that is always chasing his acorn through all sorts of industrious endeavors and mishaps, is my Spirit Animal.
I have come to embrace that silly creature and my tendency to have “squirrel brain”. (Some people may call it ADHD traits, but I prefer Scrat).
Now, of all the highs and lows of 2023, this is so fitting and funny to me. The makers of the “Ice Age” movie, created a milestone type short clip where Scrat finally catches his acorn!!
https://youtube.com/shorts/aj2pZGd7hk8?si=HTjp4jzu32mYYqGY

This is SOOO me!! This is the year that I feel I have finally caught my acorn in grasping both personal and professional goals. Yes, I have felt so behind, but many things are in the works, and I know it will all come to fruition in Divine Timing, likely through 2024.

Part of the Scrat analogy here is that the creative studio closed. Perhaps this also applies to me and to life in how we must let go of the past no longer serving us, in order to reach new heights in our goals and accomplishments.
We must also let go of people and relationships that are no longer in alignment with our ascending frequencies.

In November, I joined a Small Business Network, facilitated by two wonderful local friends. It was through connections made here that I found a new bookkeeper. This is an essential need for me as my business expands. I have always said that sanity sometimes costs money, and this is one service I gladly pay for as I despise being disorganized, especially with filing and paperwork stuff. I had gotten myself completely overwhelmed and behind on paperwork and filing etc. Hiring a bookkeeper has been a very wise investment for me. 
https://ladybugwellness.ca/recommended-service-professionals/

To close out the year, we had a quiet Christmas with family and friends, just the way we like it. I appreciate my daughters taking over the festive feasts and entertaining at their homes.
A couple highlights:
~ the “Bad Choices” game was played a few times with a lot of awkward and hilarious laughs.
~ my kids’ father and new girlfriend were in attendance. Since we also had friends around, I was introduced as “OG Mommy”. I had to look that up. Means “original”.

I had thought the year would close out on this quietly peaceful and positively uplifting note, but no. Life can change in the blink of an eye.
Late in the evening of December 29th, I received a distraught call from my oldest daughter informing me that her best friend, my original “adopt-a-kid” as she is fondly called, had fallen down some stairs, had a brain bleed, and was heading to Vancouver for specialist care.
Our family knows of at least two other people in the last 18 months that have died from a brain bleed situation.
Understandably, I went into panic/ freeze mode and stayed up most of the night working on her and the whole situation energetically doing everything I possibly knew how to do.
The next day, in the midst of all the update communications, another person made a comment dismissing my energetic efforts on the situation. I lost my sh*t on them. Not my finest moment for sure, but having been triggered by the situation and lack of sleep… I closed out the year with yet another lesson in respectable boundaries.
(UPDATE: Tanya was in Vancouver until January 21, then in PG hospital a few days, then discharged home January 24).

I have the most amazing people in my life. With these like-minded souls, my soul family tribe, I can be my authentic self, shine my light, and be free to express my insights and knowledge.
And then there are some disingenuous people out there that are not aligned with 5th dimension energies, or they are just stuck in 3rd dimension. These are people who refuse to take any accountability or responsibility for their own life path and choices. Victim mentality, parasitic energy, etc. These are the people and situations I would rather avoid at all costs because I tend to lose it with no patience or tolerance for stupid misunderstandings.
I feel I am supposed to be spiritual and set an example, yet these events show I am still human and need to keep my boundaries intact.

I have felt such a collective consciousness division in the last few years. So many loved ones lost through death or divisive opinions and beliefs. I took two road trips to my home town Terrace in 2023, both times for memorial celebrations of loved ones lost.
Every time I hear of a loved one lost, I have gone into a freeze and panic mode. This is not good at all, and it is something I continue to work through in what I now call death triggers.

More grief topics explained here: https://ladybugwellness.ca/managing-grief/
As for the divisive opinions and beliefs, I understand that all to be part of the ascension process:
https://ladybugwellness.ca/the-ascension-process-transition-from-3rd-to-5th-dimension/

So many people think I get so much accomplished all the time.
Because I do so much stress relief and Zen kind of stuff, they also think I am positive all the time and good at meditation etc. Nope. I am fully human. Some days I don’t want to get out of bed. I take a lot of “defrag” type power naps. I cannot sit still for mediation so my thing is road trips with loud rock music.
Then I go through feeling guilty because I should be setting an example for others. I am an open book with all sorts of personal writings in my website. I must be doing something right though, as I seem to have many people finding my website and appreciating all the resources and information I share.

The thing is that every one of us can get to Debbie Downer feelings. But we are also the only ones who can really get ourselves out of that state of mind. Here in the north people are susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder. I finally learned to pump up with D3 supplements to help that mood. I have regular sessions with Sue V in England and work with other practitioners to keep me in top shape. I have had to work through tons of sh*t of my own, particularly death and loss triggers.

On to 2024 manifestations:

The January 6 2024 Tucson Dowsers meeting had astrologer Brenda Wilson as guest speaker with the energy of 2024 predictions. Replay here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXVDvpDZKhA

The basic message overall:
2023 was like a roller coaster. 2024 is like a race track. Hang on for the ride
No stopping… just Be true to yourself!!

There was also a lot of explanation of Pluto influences, all about destruction and harsh life lessons for both global consciousness and personal growth. Several other intuitives I follow have expressed similar energetic predictions, so I know this is aligned with Divine Truth.

Time seems to be flying by the last few years with no slow down in sight. In years past, I have not paid very much attention to astrological influences, yet I am now understanding more and more the scientific aspect of planetary and energetic pulls on our human meat sacks. It is all about energy, frequency, and vibration.

While I do love racetracks and fast cars, this whole analogy is both unsettling and exciting. Yes, 2023 was definitely like a roller coaster, and I am glad it is over with now. Just ask my kids about me and roller coasters. They dragged me on one once and I screamed through whole 45 second ride. I will never live that one down.

With this racetrack analogy though, I would just like time to stand still long enough for a pit stop to upgrade my engine to handle the speed, please. Get my tires changed, fuel up my engine, that kind of thing lol. Then I can burn rubber and get ahead. In an ideal world…
But nope, it seems like just full speed ahead and I’ll have to catch fuel like a spaceship station. Crazy analogy but makes sense of how I feel. Just so many things to do, or that I want to do. So, yes, I am hanging on for dear life and just trusting Divine Timing.

At a business conference years ago, it was explained that life is a constant state of challenge. We’re either going into, being in, or coming out of a challenge. That is just life.
A meme I love, a pic of a heart rhythm: “Life is a series of ups and downs, like a heartbeat. And we never want to flatline”.

I find the more we clear our own energy, the more we tap into the collective consciousness of synchronicity. This is where I have been and will continue to strive to be. In the place of manifesting and miracles.

I had chosen “transformation” as my theme for 2023, which did happen as a progression of upleveling. According to several energy modalities, 2024 is an “8” year, which is all about infinity, wealth, abundance, recognition, balance between metaphysical and material, and… Transformation!
A friend gifted me a personal astrological reading which said that this 2024 year is all about exposure and visibility for me. I can certainly see and feel that coming!! So, I am choosing “Expansive Action” for my 2024 theme. Get ‘er done!!!

~ My projections and plans for 2024 will continue with respecting my own boundaries first and foremost. I feel the collective consciousness division so profoundly now that I am much happier to stay closer to my soul tribe and like-minded souls. I have the most amazing people in my life. The more I clear and protect my own energy, the more I align with wonderful people. However, I also find I need to distance myself from those who choose a low vibration life path. I just have less and less tolerance for low vibrations around me. I am okay with respecting my own boundaries this way, regardless of what others may think or judge. 

~ “Sometimes you have to let people walk into their own destruction and hope they learn something from it.
Everybody ain’t saveable and everybody saveable don’t wanna be saved. Protect your energy.”

~ I have been re-aligning my client scheduler to accommodate more client sessions, while still allowing for necessary personal down time so I can be in the best frame of mind to serve my wonderful clients.
I have not been accommodating so many last-minute bookings as my scheduler is fully open to accept appointments where available while still respecting my scheduled clients and my personal time.
My calendar exploded with new clients after the Tucson presentation, so I really need to respect my scheduled timeslots to keep myself effective and available. The local Half Priced Deals promotions have been incredibly successful as well in attracting new clients and contacts.

~ Instead of emergency appointments (which honestly stress me out too), I now have several energy clearing videos on YouTube for emergencies and/ or general maintenance between appointments. I also have the weekly free sessions.

~ I have SOOO many things to do and organize. I am so glad that so many people find my website useful. There is that much and more in my computer still to go thru, organize and add to website, or to accessible resources. This just continues to be an ongoing goal to provide resources and information through my website platform.
~ Social media has been wonderful for connection and forum discussions; however, FB has become so censored, glitchy, and just a cesspool of hackers and scammers. I intend to limit my time there more this year. I have found YouTube so be much more lucrative in the value of ads and information shared.

~ I have at least six courses paid for, yet not completed. I intend to address that more as well. All in Divine Timing is what I lean on.

~ I have “put it out there” to go to a Raymon Grace training in Virgina, and to meet practitioner friend Vicki Reeve in person at some point soon. Hopefully that will happen this year.
UPDATE: I will be going to Abingdon Virginia for Raymon Grace training over the May 18 weekend and spending time there for my birthday May 20th as well. So many friends new and old to meet in person!! 

~ Yes, the Black pearl course WILL be launched this year! As well as revamping my Reiki classes. Plus, more YouTube videos coming…

~ I have been alluding to writing memoirs for years. This is still in the works. So many clients seem to enjoy my life examples of my own healing journey. Time to put these into readable form.

~ I have been doing a 45-day carnivore reset “diet” which has been amazing. I sense another website page coming on this topic to share information on my own experience. Go to this playlist for now: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLg7kqRypaKAEwNs3S6se0_UMmhbo7HHej

I am sure I will have more goals thru the year. This is all for now.

I have noticed with client sessions, and have been explaining….
It seems that the last few years we have been focused on clearing up ancestral lineage imbalances through clearing miasma (family pattern weaknesses). Lately I have noticed more “karmic miasma” coming up for myself and everyone else as well. My theory is that we are now taking to a soul level of karmic patterns to clear those up and break cycles. To me, this seems in alignment with the idea of Pluto destruction influences. I am feeling this will continue through this year, and, as said previously, the more we clear our own energy, the more we step into the world of synchronicity and miracles.

I will leave you with these thoughts:

There are 4 types of people in the world:
Those who make things happen,
Those who watch things happen,
Those who wonder what just happened, and
Those who don’t even know what’s happening.
As we go into 2024…. which one are you?

And…

SMARTER is the Acronym for the following:
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A –  Actionable
R – Risky
T – Timely
E – Exciting
R – Relevant

By defining SMARTER goals, you have a much greater chance of actually accomplishing them, because they lead to you a plan of action!

I have been reading Atomic Habits books. I KNOW what to do and how to do it, to make my dreams and goals a reality. Time to put this all into EXPANSIVE ACTION!!

The weather here in Northern BC Canada has been unusually warm so far. We did have a few days of a -35 degree Celsius cold snap. One of my Floridian friends had asked about the weather that weekend. I signed off “Frigidly Yours, the ever-surviving Canadian Ladybug”.

I appreciate you, and I am thankful for you joining me to be on this journey of life right now.

I am an open book, sharing my own personal experiences and what I have learned in hopes that my journey may be of inspiration to others.

For all those who have shared with me your struggles and upsets and desire for more a peaceful life, this is for you. You are not alone and I am doing my best to use my learned experiences to better serve my clients.

🐞 Personal Update from Jackie – May 2025
As someone who’s spent years helping clients clear energy blocks and emotional residue around hormonal changes, I have to admit — I was long overdue to dig deeper into my own physical health.
Let me be clear: I haven’t neglected myself. I’ve worked consistently on my energy systems, done regular self-care, and spent four solid years in the StoryAthlete community doing daily workouts. I’ve also had conventional medical care and regular bloodwork with my doctor.
But… I had never done a naturopathic saliva hormone test — and wow, did that open my eyes.

My results?
💥 Estrogen dominance (too high)
💥 Very low progesterone, testosterone, and cortisol
💥 Adrenal function basically waving a little white flag and tapping out
It turns out my cortisol wasn’t high like I assumed — it was actually depleted. I’ve been running on empty for way too long, and my system finally said, “No more.”

The advice?
No high-impact workouts. No additional stressors. Major protein increase. Supplements to support adrenal repair and gentle, steady recovery.
Since starting a personalized protocol — including natural progesterone, adrenal support, and better nutrition — I’m already noticing a difference. There’s still a ways to go, but it feels like I’ve finally stopped paddling upstream without a boat.
For those asking, this is the AOR Ortho Adapt supplement I am taking now: https://aor.ca/product/ortho-adapt/

👉 Please don’t wait as long as I did.
Energy work is incredible (and essential), but sometimes we need to support the physical vessel with the right testing, tailored nutrition, and professional guidance.
The saliva test cost me about $450 CAD — and I now see it was absolutely worth it. Unlike standard bloodwork, these tests measure your bioavailable hormone levels throughout the day and include things like cortisol and adrenal patterns. It’s a much clearer picture of what your body is actually dealing with behind the scenes.

💗 Bottom line:
Your hormones aren’t out to ruin your life.
They’re waving flags and asking for help.
Listen to them.
You’re worth it.

Also see this page: https://ladybugwellness.ca/balancing-hormones-tucson-webinar/
I was guest speaker for Tucson Dowsers December 2023. My presentation was on Balancing Hormones energetically. I did manage to relieve hormonal symptoms, and had medical blood tests, but I would like to stress that naturopathic saliva tests are well worth the investment to get a clear picture of hormone levels. 

****************
Update November 2024. Yet again the year has passed by quickly. Whether this is ascension energies or other reasons, I just wanted to update here about this whole brain fog experience.
Thank God for energy balancing to balance my hormones particularly.
The brain fog doesn’t seem to be as bad, the irritability and annoyances have lessened, and the hot flashes are not as bad as before. I have found that a carnivore or protein focused lifestyle (not diet) seems to work best for me. I say focused because I am not consistently strict, but I don’t feel that my food choices are that bad overall.

For those ladies who are still experiencing dreaded symptoms, apparently October was “Menopause Awareness Month”, so I saved a bunch of information about a “Biohacking Your Menopause Journey” webinar. Find that in the Freebies page, Resources link, under webinars.

You’ll also find a webinar from Dr Mindy Pelz promoting her book “Fast Like a Girl” and “Menopause Reset”. Excellent information about hormones and menopause.

https://ladybugwellness.ca/lbw-resources/

****************

It is now October 2023. Where did this past year go? It seems I blinked and the world passed me by. Numerous people I have talked to in recent months lament similar observations that time has flown by. That they have been feeling “off”, fatigued, and just wondering what the heck they have missed in the last several months.

There is much discussion in forums about the ascension process and all those unsettling symptoms. I think all of humanity is experiencing some level of these issues, whether they understand it or not.
https://ladybugwellness.ca/the-ascension-process-transition-from-3rd-to-5th-dimension/

In working with clients, I am seeing a sort of “collective purge” of ancestral healing going on. Often a similar theme or time period that comes up with each session I facilitate with the same client, or different ones.
https://ladybugwellness.ca/ancestral-trauma-healing-family-patterns/

Many are dealing with all sorts of crazy offensive energies. Humanity as a Collective Consciousness is becoming more and more aware of the lower vibrations and the value of raising our own frequency and vibration to that of Universal Acceptance and Love.
https://ladybugwellness.ca/offensive-energies/

Far too many are dealing with loss of loved ones, the whole grief process. No one is exempt from losses and ascension “death cycles”.
I have traveled to my hometown twice this past year, both times for memorials.
I was able to live stream the service for another dear friend lost recently. My cherished friend and angel card reader, Barb, passed September 18 2023.
The opioid crisis is rampant and no one seems immune to those losses. The sad thing I have realized is that not everyone gets listed in the obits.
After high school in our small town, my mom commented on how often I found school mates in the local court reports. Years later, I have been finding people I know in the obits section. A continuous mortality check in realizing how fleeting life can be.
Each passing I hear of seems to trigger in me similarly to my analogy of the trauma bottles smashing on the floor. Some worse than others. This is a grief processing issue I continue to address within myself.
https://ladybugwellness.ca/managing-grief/

Regardless of how anyone feels, or deals with their life events and upsets, I continue to learn and share that it truly is Divine Timing. We never know someone else’s soul journey. And we may not even understand our own journey until we look back over the tapestry of our life to see Divine Timing at work.
https://ladybugwellness.ca/trusting-divine-timing-everything-happens-for-a-reason/

**************************

So, is any of this what seems to be wrong with ME? Maybe some yes. But I am really wondering if I am going through “The Change” now. Am I experiencing menopause?

My son lived with his father for two years at a time when his father’s then-girlfriend was going through menopause (apparently?). She had been an absolute horror to deal with for all of my kids, but particularly for my son living there.
I promised my son that I would never put him through that ordeal when my time comes, and I even gave him permission to put me out of my misery if it came to that lol.
No matter what we go through, I do not feel we should ever put someone else through hell because we can’t deal with our own sh*t. Thankfully I have energy balancing skills on my side.

Through my years at the post office, I was the office joke because I was always freezing. I had been known to wear a parka into July. I remember our union rep announcing once “Jackie took off her parka, it is officially summer”. Yes, I have worked out in -40 Celsius a few times. I am not sure how I ever managed that, but I still am not fond of winter and cold even 7.5 years after retirement!
While working inside, many of my female coworkers had fans going. They often teased that I needed to go through menopause to warm up.

We seem to follow our mother’s patterns in our feminine cycle changes. My mom figures she went through these changes around age 51. She doesn’t remember having the stereotypical hot flashes, but she did have excessive brain fog.
I went back to school in my 40’s, graduating at age 51 with an Associate of Arts Degree in Psychology Concentration.
My grandmother received a teaching degree at age 51 and my mom completed a medical stenographer certification in her later years as well.
I’ve been following the leadership of ladies in my lineage 😊
Mom has relayed to me many times of her experience during those years that she actually walked out of class one time because she just couldn’t grasp anything with lack of mental clarity, also known as brain fog.
Thanks Mom…

Another genetic issue is blood sugar and diabetes. Although I have kept up on blood tests etc., I tend to follow Wayne Dyer’s philosophy that I am just not allowing that dis-ease into my experience. So far so good. Besides, holistically, these chronic dis-eases are not actually hereditary and do not necessarily continue thru our lineage unless we create the conditions where they can manifest and prevail. So there.

Getting to my more personal experiences this past year, I have not kept close track of my menstrual cycle for many years. Not really any need to. Of course, I noticed my own PMS issues both mental and physical, but have been able to balance my hormones energetically to relieve symptoms. In April of 2022, I realized my phone had a health app cycle tracker. Over the next few months, I realized my cycle was becoming more sporadic with longer days in between.
In conversations with my doctor over the past few years, he had said that he had not seen many women go past 55. I had been in a month after my birthday and he changed that prediction to not past 57. I turned 56 in May 2023.
My last recorded cycle was in February 2023.

I started the FCOA certification course March 1 2023. I had been through all the material previously, but there were some personal experiences that triggered me into having to revisit some inner child work, a whole lot of unresolved grief from losing my soul mate back in 2021, and also some traumatic events from 30 years ago. Talk about digging up the past and upleveling myself in the whole process!! (BTW September 30 2023 is now 2 years since his passing).

I brought more attention to teaching Reiki classes, and to teaching the Black Pearl technique. I realized I could be much more effective if I could leverage my time in creating these as online courses. I started taking steps towards realizing these goals.

But where did my brain go? Seriously. Where did my days go? I live by my scheduler and facilitate my client appointments so I can have a peaceful personal life as well. Gotta love being in control of my own life that way 😊
I am grateful for so many new clients and returning regular clients. And such wonderful feedback and successes.

I am grateful for my regular personal energy sessions with Sue V, plus fairly regular “play dates” with other practitioner friends in keeping ourselves balanced and able to work effectively with clients.
If not for that, I have no idea where I would be.

But again, where did my brain go? Why is time fleeting by like a fart in the wind? It is downright frustrating that I finish my appointments for the day, then realize it is already bedtime. No, my client appointments do not dominate my day at all. My schedule is quite reasonable actually. It seems to be this dreaded brain fog that my mother experienced, and the symptoms I find through online searches or forum discussions. Time lapses of sorts.

I have been working through my own issues of not grasping technology sufficiently, releasing this idea of being “non techie”.
https://ladybugwellness.ca/milestones/

I have managed to create several new YouTube videos and gain several new followers there.
Main channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ladybugwellness8509

Particularly, I have created some energy clearing videos that can be repeated as needed. Mini sessions that I use for myself as well. I have been receiving wonderful feedback from those who have discovered these videos.
Playlist with others added: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLg7kqRypaKAFR1yZ-MVRcOOFftVTzF2fD

Many of my clients have admired and observed that I am so organized and efficient in sharing seemingly endless relevant and useful knowledge and information. While I am grateful for these sentiments and observations, I fully admit that I have been dealing with, what I call “creative constipation”. I have extensive ideas that seem to be backed up and plugged up, creating frustration for me in getting it all out. I am feeling a lot of contrition as I have a long list of interested parties waiting for these online workshops. This endeavor really should not be as daunting for me as it seems, but when my brain randomly goes on holiday without me, well, I can only get so much accomplished before a power nap is needed to defrag my mental capacity.

I can easily get hung up on some small technicality and shut down mentally or go do something else. I seem to get overwhelmed easily as well. This just adds to my feelings of being delayed and behind.
I liken my feelings to a hamster running feverishly on a hamster wheel only to be tossed off balance and hanging on by a single paw, being dragged along… Thump, Thump, Thump…
(I gotta keep some humorous visuals for you here lol).
I assure you, these workshops are coming.

Anyone who knows me, knows I have been a concert freak and road tripper extraordinaire. I am not sure why I have been choosing to just be more of a homebody this last while. There have been a few concerts I normally would have jumped at attending, but I chose a quiet evening of solitude instead.
I have been easily frustrated with others who lack integrity or otherwise shirk responsibility and accountability for themselves. I have been acutely aware of my personal boundaries.
I do know that this is a mirror reflection of imbalances within myself so I have looked at and worked through my own failures in this regard. I am a work in progress.

My body is doing some weird funky stuff in the last few months. Hot flashes, heat rashes, blemishes, itchy eyes, and my weight… omg. I am a skinny b*tch in a fat suit and am continually frustrated with limited movement and flexibility. I refuse to embrace any ideologies of “old age”, yet I am doing my best to accept the wisdom of “crone years” and matriarchy. My weigh scale is not my friend lately.
My hair, my crowning glory, has been severely damaged with too much processing and ineffectual stylists. My lack of being able to express myself in their terminology adds to my frustrations. All I want is a basic and classic cut and color but my previously glorious locks are not cooperating as in the past.

I had gone for blood tests back in December 2022. A colonoscopy, upper endoscopy, and CT scan in January and February 2023 showed no medical reasons for weight gain, and really no other concerning issues either. Thyroid fine, sugar within normal ranges. All clear from stem to stern 😛

While I am thankful for healthy results back, I am still frustrated with issues I am experiencing.

This is where I do my best to address my own issues holistically and energetically. Honestly, in my opinion, this is the only way I can keep some hope for a better life experience in a continuously crazy world.

I have tried several detoxing type remedies. However, liver and lymph issues keep coming up in my energy sessions.
I experienced a Kambo ceremony with Lyndsy. See YouTube interview for explanation of this tree frog medicine. I plan to do another interview with Lyndsy at some point to share and explain my experience.
https://youtu.be/FTM_mVcgxlQ?si=h4xN0i2qLdPQ36Wg

I managed to balance my hormones to relieve the hot flashes, just in time for the cool crispness of autumn to arrive. Hot flashes and clammy feelings are NOT fun at all!! I am not fond of cold weather either, but prefer to have more regulated core temps at least.
On a pharmacist’s recommendation, fungal and hydrocortisone creams relieved the unexplained rashes.

I have dowsed and confirmed for myself several supplements.
D3 and K2 for mood regulation
Oregano for preventative practice
Magnesium glycinate for sleep and muscles
Activated charcoal for flushing toxins
Berberine for digestion and glucose metabolism

Peppermint, blueberry, peach teas are calming drinks to sip thru the evening before bed. Any light herbal teas are great.

I have taken a liking to PC Brand (Superstore) Chicken Bone Broth. That said, I do sometimes enjoy a soothing cup of broth with a chocolate bar on the side. It’s all about balance, you know. Yes, I know weird combination lol.

I find that Watkins medicated ointment on my feet at night seems to be a great method of preventative maintenance and I feel very refreshed and clear in the morning.

My latest thing is castor oil packs, and I think those are really helping lots in feeling better overall. I have been following Dr Barbara O’Neill and gleaning some suggestions and knowledge there. I am hoping this will reduce or eliminate the fibroids I was diagnosed with back in 2019. This is supposed to be an excellent method to detox the liver as well, which I highly suspect is the root cause of many of the physical issues I have been experiencing.
I do think that chemical laden foods and drinks have been an issue and I am much more aware of toxicities now. See Acesulphame Potassium here:
https://ladybugwellness.ca/toxins-individual-energy-toxins/

Admittedly, I probably have not been drinking enough water… Dehydration is an issue I continuously am aware of.
Yet, I don’t think my diet overall is that bad. I do have one cup of coffee each day. Gotta have some small pleasures.

Most recently I have been following a suggestion from Amy Jo: Goyetche Institute is a naturopath in Ontario.
I have been taking essential salts Ferr Phos, Calcium Fluoride, and 12 in 1 blend.
This is a Facebook post with some explanations of essential salts.
https://www.facebook.com/GoyetcheInstitute/posts/pfbid037JXyt8jw7Z2o4LQPhFNffeDNpnYjHXK7HU1Sr8cpoX4rQVC8qGfHi77Ef4vKmmMNl

I took in a series of webinars from Hay House with a topic on water fasting particularly for women, but excellent information for both men and women. I transcribed these webinars. Find those and more resources here: Practitioner Resources

**Disclaimer: these are remedies and solutions I have tried. Please use your own discernment if you decide to try these for yourself.

Where I am now:
~ I have been taking in several training videos to be able to navigate the Thinkific platform. I have most of the content and videos are ready to go. Just needing to get everything uploaded and connected properly.
~ My son has been teaching me video editing and assisting me in that capacity. I am getting there.
~ I have been assisting Tucson Dowsers in an admin capacity for several months. I am also speaking for their monthly webinar December 2 2023. I will be speaking on balancing hormones with all I have learned and experienced.
~ I have a whole lot more ideas coming to fruition… at some point… and I am trusting Divine Guidance that this will all come to you in Perfect Divine Timing.
~ I am incorporating more turmeric, cayenne, coconut oil, MCT oil and other natural remedies into my diet and self-care routine.
~ I am making use of solfeggio music (YouTube) and my own energy clearing videos on repeat. This is really helping with focus, clarity, and getting sh*t done 😛

Update October 15 2023:
My go to solution, of course, is balancing my own energy and taking care of ME so I can be my best for others.
I am learning more about menopause from experiences. Ugh. Body odor, joint pains, itchy skin all over, yup. Fun stuff. Eh?
I also have a solution, castor oil packs! I have been doing this at bedtime sporadically since August when Lyndsy told me where to get a pack locally (PG acupuncture).
I have been doing this more regularly and feeling much better, less brain fog, more digestively regular, and I feel “cleaner” through my body.
I had my sessions with Sue and found 600% resistance to technology. (Whoa!!). Within the week following, I managed to get past a hurdle with video editing and the Thinkific platform. Now I am full speed ahead and getting things done. Course coming sooner then later! YAY!
Also with Sue, we found a major disconnection in my hair from some poor stylist experiences. Wild, eh? Ya, imbalances can come up anywhere!
Then, I booked a session with Tom Heintz October 9. I offered to use my session candidly to promote his work. He offered to do a follow up session thru his Mastermind class October 12.
Detail here, bottom of page: https://ladybugwellness.ca/practitioner-recommendations/
Tom has his own protocol for weight release. I have his list, and worked through myself, but always amazing to work with someone else. I must say that after these sessions, my energy felt and seemed more radiant.
Also, gotta add, if you watch the videos, “damaged goods”, that has been a huge thing for me from childhood. Interesting how this has come up yet again for me.
Yesterday, my doctor called with results from blood tests 2 weeks ago. My AC1 and other numbers all look fine, non-concerning, so I can go back for follow up in 6 months, not 3 months. YAY!!
~ I have been on a roll with creating some mini energy clearing sessions which are now on YouTube. Do check them out as this is a good way for my clients and followers to have some resources in between booked sessions.
Playlist here:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLg7kqRypaKAFR1yZ-MVRcOOFftVTzF2fD

January 2024: I asked for and received some expensive bone broth for Christmas, just called “Best Bone Broth” This is my new fave thing, and now on regular delivery. I also have been participating in a carnivore 45 day reset. This is a game changer for me. I love it immensely and will probably create another page on that topic.
https://www.amazon.ca/stores/page/A8DBCA18-57EE-4448-8142-B25D5EEA682C?ingress=2&visitId=21fc498f-630d-4cd2-995e-3eb4b0995fa5&ref_=ast_bln

June 1 2025: 

🌀 Estrogen Dominance + Low Cortisol: The Midlife Hormone Combo Nobody Warned Us About
________________________________________
If you’re feeling foggy, inflamed, puffy, emotional, flatlined, or just plain off — welcome to the hormone rollercoaster no one handed us a seatbelt for. This is especially common for women in perimenopause or menopause, but younger women dealing with chronic stress may also find themselves in this stew.
One of the most overlooked hormone combos? High estrogen relative to progesterone + low cortisol from adrenal burnout.
Let’s break it down, gently and clearly, the Dotty way 🐞
________________________________________
🧩 What’s Happening in Your Body
Estrogen Dominance doesn’t always mean your estrogen is super high. It means it’s high compared to progesterone, your calming hormone. This imbalance can make everything feel more intense — physically and emotionally.
Low Cortisol means your adrenals (tiny but mighty glands) have been in stress mode so long, they’ve started to shut down the factory. You may feel tired, spacey, or reactive, and yet struggle to rest deeply.
Put these together, and you’ve got:
• Weight gain (especially belly)
• Brain fog & sleep trouble
• Mood swings or anxiety
• Inflammation, bloating, and a sense that your body is inflating like a balloon
• Feeling wired but tired — or just plain worn out
________________________________________
💖 Gentle Support for the Overwhelmed Body
Here’s the good news: You don’t need to “fix” it all overnight. Small changes create big relief. Start with support in three key areas:
✅ Hormone Balance & Detox:
• Magnesium glycinate or taurate: Calms the nervous system & supports hormone balance
• Cruciferous veggies or DIM supplements (if advised by your practitioner): Help process estrogen
• Lemon water, dandelion tea, or castor oil packs: Love your liver
✅ Cortisol Recovery & Adrenal TLC:
• Ortho Adapt (as recommended by your practitioner)
• Protein-rich breakfast within 30–60 min of waking
• A tiny pinch of sea salt in your morning water
• Gentle movement — walks, stretching, light yoga
✅ Nervous System Regulation:
• Prioritize sleep — it’s medicine now
• Turn off screens 1–2 hours before bed
• Try the affirmation: “It is safe to slow down.”
________________________________________
🌿 Emotional & Spiritual Layers
This isn’t just chemistry. It’s also energy and emotion. Ask yourself:
• Am I carrying too much responsibility?
• Do I struggle to feel safe resting?
• Do I believe I have to push through everything?
This isn’t burnout from being broken. It’s your body finally asking to be heard. This is sacred repair, not failure.
________________________________________
🌟 Final Thoughts from Dotty
You are not lazy. You are not crazy. You are in transition.
And your body is trying to heal — it just needs you to listen.
Give yourself the grace to rest, replenish, and rebuild. You don’t have to be a hormone expert. You just need to respect your rhythm.
When in doubt? Magnesium, protein, and a nap. Then ask Dotty. 🐞💗

I thought I did everything right. I was raised in church, but the events behind closed doors skewed my perceptions of what was right in life. Go to school, get married, have children, contribute to society. Sacrifice yourself, give and give until there is nothing left. Serve your husband and family. Martyrdom. It was what we as women were supposed to do. Expected of us.

Yet my childhood innocence was stolen, violated, and ruined at an early age. I was damaged goods thinking no one would ever want me. So, when a boy from school came along telling me I was pretty, I clung to him in an attempt to escape my fate at home with a totalitarian father. A teen mom experience that just tossed me further into the furnace of life.

I tried to make it right. I got married young, had more kids, graduated, got a job, and supported my family. I did it all. But life still was a hurdle and a roller coaster. At age 19, I had asked my then husband why he slept on the couch instead of coming to bed. He jokingly said I was old and washed up just like the couch, so what’s the difference? This just solidified my poor self esteem and further skewed my reasonings of trying to do life “right”.

Where did I go wrong in trying to make things right? I followed societal standards rather than embracing my own Divine Feminine sovereignty, that’s where I went wrong.

Society evolves and revolves constantly because history repeats itself and it fluctuates with cultural, religious, and overt control rulings of the day. Patriarchy has long been the controlling nature of general society. Women were property with no rights. Bred to serve their masters and produce heirs. Society today has swung the pendulum of life in an opposite direction with feminism on the rise. While I support having equal pay for equal work, I have never embraced “feminism” in the way that it devalues men these days. In my experience, this is not a viable balance to fight for matriarchy. To make all men out to be abusive and controlling. Or to make men effeminate and easily controlled. Divine Feminine has its own power without “fighting” as well. “Fighting” is a trait of masculine leadership, the Divine Masculine of protection, strength, and logic.

Instead, I choose to recognize the imbalances and the trauma behind these feminist views. I choose to recognize the waves of feminine hormones and embrace Divine Feminine empowerment. I choose to recognize the detachment and logic of masculine hormones without calling it toxic because it is different from feminine. I choose to place past traumas and the reasons for skewed views on the perpetrators of injustices rather than on a group or gender stereotype.

As I grow in my mature years of life, I am learning to let go of those past views, to unlearn all I had learned, and to embrace my own inner wisdom. I am embracing my “crone years”. At some point we all have an awakening in life.
https://ladybugwellness.ca/awakening/

When that time comes, I invite you to embrace a new sense of freedom in embracing the crone years. Re-evaluate all you that had stood for, all that you have accomplished in life, and awaken to your own sovereignty. I invite you to see men as complementary, as allies, rather than the enemy or source of abuses.

Beauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes to the bone. Enhancing our own inner wisdom and self empowerment is where true beauty can radiate from within.

Note:
We all carry both Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine energy within us, regardless of our gender identity. These are inner archetypes — not roles or stereotypes — and achieving balance between the two supports emotional well-being, healthier relationships, and authentic self-expression. The goal is not to suppress one in favor of the other, but to honor both in their empowered form.

_______________________________________________

A friend shared this writing and I just love it so much I had to share it here for you to enjoy as well:

Embrace your Inner Hag
If you want to be a bad ass sexually empowered woman, embrace your inner hag.
Thats right.
The crone. The ancient old woman. The witch. The hag.
The crone archetype is an aspect of the feminine not exactly associated with sexuality.
Women groom themselves to be girls. The younger the better.
Paint those lips red and blush those cheeks like you are wet and ripe for impregnation.
Make them believe you are in perpetual ovulation.
Make them hard. Make them desire you.
Get that face lift. Suck in that belly. Bat those lashes.
Guess what.
The crone doesn’t give a fuck.
And that is her power.
She embraces her spider lines and swinging, sagginesss.
After all, this is what life does to the body of a woman…eventually!
Does that make you uncomfortable? Would you rather not see?
Her secret threatens to corrupt you.
She can make you wild.
She can reveal to you your power.
Your volcanic senseless holy
Once she opens her mouth, the jig is up.
They tell you she is crazy.
Dangerous because she has broken out of that jail cell you call restrictions.
How would you have sex if you didn’t give a fuck about how pretty you look?
Or how flat your stomach is?
The crone is not an object of desire.
She is free to claim her own desire.
In a world that praises women for being objects of desire.
Where the more lust you can seduce the more value you possess, the crone is laughing with that cackle that only women of power have.
She does not possess the enchanting beauty of the maiden or the fertile reproductive juices of the mother.
She no longer bleeds. She no longer bares children.
Her sex no longer waxes and wanes with the moon, gaining and draining energy with each passing tide.
She is full.
The portal to her blood has been sealed.
She is drinking in the nectar. She is bathing in its luminous darkness.
Her sex is a diamond pressed and polished by years of experience and wisdom.
She has passed through all the phases of initiation as a woman.
That heavy web of social conditions all feminine creatures are baptized into.
She is unraveling herself from these webs.
She has liberated her sex from all their stories.
She is making it to the other side.
Freeing herself.
Without the ability to be a mother or a sex object, what is left of a woman and her sex?
I’ll tell you what.
Pure power that doesn’t give a fuck.
Crazy wisdom that knows how to make love to the moment.
Sex that ripples through every authentic cell of your body.
Sex that pulses with every tiny whisper of life knowing life.
If you want to find the seat of your sexual power.
Your real deep sovereign sexual nature.
Find the crone that lives in you.
Wild. Ugly. Innocent. Real.
The real initiation begins here.

Author: Maya Luna

__________________________________
More on the balance of Divine Feminine AND Divine Masculine?

I encourage you to read some of John Gray’s Mars Venus books as these truly helped me understand my unique femininity.

Cynthia Occelli’s book Resurrecting Venus talks about feminine power that respects and upholds the complementary Divine Masculine. The book delves into embracing feminine power and offers practical advice for women to reconnect with their innate strengths. Occelli emphasizes the importance of self-worth, authenticity, and the transformative power of feminine energy.

UPDATE January 16 2024: Time to get carpets cleaned again as we have a weekend training coming up and taking place at our home office. I called Dave at Sparkle Kleen.
Me: “Hi, I would like to book carpet cleaning, it’s been a while”
Dave: “Wonderful, who is this?”
Me: “Jackie on Quentin Ave with Ladybug Wellness”.
Dave, in a long low tone voice: “Oh Hiiiiii! Just the lady I want to talk to….”
Me: “uh oh” …

Dave explained that my review stirred up some major crap in the carpet cleaning industry. In a good way though. And he has been awfully busy because of it too.
He further explained that this fellow I had before operates under 8 different business names with his father. Dave said the guy is young and inexperienced. What happens in a client’s home is not meant to be broadcasted on the internet and this was a huge wake up call for other carpet cleaning services.

We had Dave clean our carpets for a reasonable fee and he took his time doing an amazing job. Yes, my carpets are old Berber style. I didn’t expect miracles, but Dave was able to get them looking their best. Honestly, these carpets almost look new again 😊. Thanks Dave Payne at Sparkle Kleen!!

***********************************************
This website has always been my outlet, my own little corner of the World Wide Web where I share inspiration, encouragement and personal experiences for the benefit of anyone who finds these writings.
While I usually do my best to share positive experiences, I also see the benefit in sharing some not so positive experiences to “shine a light” on the problem so it can either be rectified and resolved, or at least serve as a warning to others.

Small businesses rely on reviews and word of mouth advertising to promote their business and to attract new clients. We would hope that our goods and services would be appreciated by clients and customers and that they would choose to leave an encouraging and positive review to recommend us to others.
Genuine experiences can be most helpful to the average online surfer looking to find a reputable company to hire or purchase from.
Of course, there are always trolls and hackers as well which can wreak havoc on reputations as online reviews are not easy to edit or delete. Anything posted online is always somewhere in the hauntings of holograms and residual etheric waste.

As I am always keen to try out and promote small businesses, I hired a carpet cleaning company in November 2021. I had previously hired a locally reputable company and was quite pleased with their services, but I had purchased an Auction Net gift certificate for this new business in hopes of saving a few dollars. Another lesson learned that quality and ethics is much more important than trying to save a few bucks.

My previous social media post from 2016:
Jackie N. Rioux September 15 2016: I’m almost a little embarrassed to post these pics, but thank you to Dave from Sparkle Kleen who shined up my carpets and got them looking so much better!
Note: Dave charged me a reasonable $225. for cleaning all the carpets in my home.

Backstory, back in 1991 – 1995, my then husband and I owned a Carpet Doctor carpet cleaning company. I am quite well versed on appreciating the efficiency of a truck mount cleaning service. I also have had my share of client engagement stories through the whole experience of owning that company.

2021: I purchased an Auction Net gift certificate for a “living room, dining room, hallway value $149” for $100. I had missed the other gift certificate for “living, dining, hallway and 3 rooms, value $199”. I called the business and explained that I had the lower GC value and asked if I could use it as the higher value GC and just pay the $50 difference. They said yes that would be fine. I do find most small businesses quite accommodating and if you ask, you may just be able to arrange a deal. In this case, this was probably my first mistake with what happened later in misunderstandings.

Next, there was some miscommunication on booking a date and time. I explained that I needed a proper appointment as I work with client appointments and this cleaning appointment needed to fit into my client schedule. It turned out that he showed up in the middle of a client appointment and I explained that we would have to reschedule as I could not cancel my already in progress client session. He seemed clueless that this was an issue. (red flag #1?).

Once rescheduled, he showed up on time a few days later. I confirmed with him that I had the GC and also confirmed that we had arranged by phone previously that I could use the GC for the higher value service and pay the difference plus the cost of the stairs. He confirmed yes, understood.

I had moved all the small furniture out of the way, and explained exactly where I needed cleaning done in the 3 rooms equivalent. I baked some loaves for a “tip” as I always do that for service workers I hire. In chatting with him, I explained that I previously owned a Carpet Doctor company in Terrace years ago. I helped him move a small couch out of the way to access the next section of carpet. All our cats had disappeared downstairs with all the noise and commotion. Behind the couch, there were a few cat toys and one small dead mouse. I apologized and removed the rodent to dispose of it.
I explained that my ex husband used to tell me of all the rodents and garbage he would suck up the large cleaning hose during his residential cleaning jobs. I brushed off the incident because I know how common rodents are and at least it was only one, and dead.

After the carpets were cleaned sufficiently, this fellow took the baking and headed out to his truck to write up an invoice. I gave him the GC I had. When he came back, the GC was not listed on the invoice, and the total was over $250 for 4 rooms. I questioned his calculations because of our previous conversation and obvious misunderstanding. He apologized and went out to rewrite the invoice. The re-written invoice also did not reflect the GC amount, and this time was for 3 rooms plus stairs at a total of $208. I asked about our previous arrangement with the GC. He nonchalantly said he has different pay grades for coupons. I was infuriated at the cost, but paid it anyway. I had expected to pay about $100 total, given the value discount of the GC I gave him. Then, he had the audacity to ask for a Google Review before he left.
I had to calm myself down to give a review, and to explain nicely my poor experience with his misunderstandings and attitude.

The rest, you can read below.

Note:
Google Reviews cannot be deleted easily, so if you choose to leave a review for any business, please consider the impact of your recommendations and genuine experience.

Auction Net is NOT the issue here. A reputable business should be offering the same value and services regardless of using a gift certificate. Here at Ladybug Wellness, gift certificates are welcomed and valued at the same value as fully paid services.
I will also do my best to offer my services in the best way I am able to give you fair and equal energy exchange.

The original cleaning service work was done well. The issues with miscommunication and attitude, as well as a nasty passive aggressive response more than cancelled out any prior appreciation for this service.

********************************************************
My post on social media:
Jackie N. Rioux March 1 2022
Rant time. Bear with me, I am kinda furious at the moment. At a time when we should all be supporting small businesses, what I have to say here just grates my nerves right now. Poor business ethics just infuriate me.
First off, as a business owner myself, I have used Auction Net to attract newcomers to my business and to secure some advertising credits. Wonderful opportunity. That should not be the focus of my rant here.
Secondly, as a business owner, I also recognize client/ customer confidentiality as well.
Thirdly, Google reviews can be wonderful word of mouth advertising especially for small businesses. Taking this into account, I have always prided myself on offering a glowing review where I feel credit is due. Not very often I leave a poor review, and even then, I try my best to reflect a positive light with a good explanation of the actual issue. I think that a reputable company would reach out and rectify the actual issue, taking accountability for their part, rather than immaturely putting blame somewhere else. This is where my issue is today.
I hired Carpet Doctor 3 months ago to clean the carpets in my home. The following screenshots outline the issues I had then, while still leaving some positive remarks.
I got an email saying that the proprietor responded to my review. The comment then was something to the effect of the fact that they have had trouble with Auction Net and confusion there and will not be advertising with them again. So I edited my review to reflect that this is not an issue with Auction Net, it is an issue with their own misunderstandings and miscalculations.
Last night, I was checking back on some Google reviews I had made for other businesses and then realized I had never received an alert that Carpet Doctor had edited their comment to “Response from the owner 2 months ago
Thanks for recommending our work, Jackie! It’s not often we find dead mice under furniture when we move it for cleaning but we’re glad we were able to get things somewhat sanitary for you and your clients in your home-based business. Take care!”
I have now edited my review again. I will NOT support or recommend this idiot EVER again! Yes, my review shows up as my Business name, and yes I operate out of my home as current restrictions allow. Yes, I hired a cleaning company for the fact that I do try my best to uphold sanitary standards with having clients here occasionally.
The comment about finding dead mice (plural?) was completely uncalled for and unprofessional. Ok, yes I have cats, and yes there was ONE dead mouse found while he was here. I owned a carpet cleaning company years ago and trust me, one dead mouse is the least of any kind of “normal” sanitizing standards in house cleaning. Nothing mentioned that I had pretty much everything else moved out of the way to ensure he had efficient space to do his work. Nothing mentioned of the original issue. Only a low blow response to call out MY business in response rather than take accountability for the original issue. Absolutely IGNORANT and unprofessional business ethics. Do we now have to be concerned of hiring a cleaning service that they will publicly announce private and irrelevant details of their work in our homes?
Carpet Doctor: Go ahead and edit your comment now after a screen shot has been taken of your immature and ignorant response.
For anyone else reading this rant and not so glowing review, I do want to give a shout out to Dave at Sparkle Kleen. He was the one I had hired previously. Professional, efficient, personable, good communication, and reasonable rates. Everything that I would like to find in a REPUTABLE business that also has been recommended highly via word of mouth and raving social media recommendations as well. End rant. (Please share if you feel so inclined)

Comments
Rhonda Martinez Montanez All I can say is WOW
Jackie N. Rioux ya 🙁
Nicole Smith Wow I definitely won’t use them. His comments are uncalled for and very rude. Sorry to hear he did this to you
Lee Mackenzie Eeeeeeeeeeee
Jackie N. Rioux: Definitely hire Dave at Sparkle Kleen instead. I wish I had gone with him again after my recent experience.
Do not go with anyone else.
Victoria Jose Jackie N. Rioux THANK YOU for the good and bad review 😊
Jackie N. Rioux Victoria Jose I try my best to support businesses and shine a good light. Until they cross me. But even then, I am truthful about the experience.
Alice Payne Sparkle Kleen 250 561 1699 (Note: this is Dave’s mom)
Jackie N. Rioux Alice Payne Hi Alice, please let Dave know that I will definitely be calling him next time.

One Drive folder to view screenshots of the Google Review: https://1drv.ms/f/s!AuMxhvWq2uCLhFVHJHCxlz6e2MgN?e=I2Jqeu

November 2021 post on Google Reviews:
https://goo.gl/maps/eD4v3q3spGaav2Tq8
I was asked to write a positive review after the carpet cleaning service today. I have been mulling over how to write my review truthfully yet positively.
3 years ago I had my carpets cleaned by a highly reputed company who did a wonderful job and charged me $225 total. My home is 918 square feet, not all carpet. I have living, dining, hall, one 8 x 9 bedroom upstairs; a small rec room 10 x 10 area (not all furniture moved), a bedroom with only traffic area (about 14 sq ft) downstairs; plus 11 stairs.
I owned a carpet cleaning company 30 years ago so I am familiar with the business and prefer truck mount thorough cleaning.
I decided to go with Carpet Doctor this time because I won the bid on an Auction Net GC value $149 for living/dining/ hall. I paid $112 for that GC. Unfortunately I missed the GC valued at $199 for living/ dining/ hall and 3 bedrooms.
I called Oct 20 to book the appointment, was told they could get me in Oct 23 in the morning. There was some confusion and misunderstanding in the exact appointment time as I had said I had fluctuating client appointments that morning. The fellow unfortunately showed up in the middle of a client appointment, and as he was booked the rest of the day, we had to postpone until today, November 6. I made sure to be ready this time. He showed up promptly at 1030 am as agreed.
When I had originally booked the appointment, I explained that I had the $149 value GC and asked if would I be able to top up to the $199 value and just pay the extra because I have a couple rooms and stairs. I was told that would be fine. I confirmed this agreement when he started work today that I would pay the extra on top of the GC. I signed the GC and gave that to him.
The tech was professional, efficient, and got some stubborn stains out of the carpets. I was quite happy with the work done. My carpets are more than 15 years old, so I was not expecting miracles, just cleanliness.
The misunderstanding and confusion was when he gave me a bill for $259, charging me for 4 rooms at $48 each and 11 stairs at $5 each. I pointed out that the extra rooms were not 4 rooms, and not even equivalent to 4 rooms. The GC was not shown on the bill. He explained that the coupon packages are different rates, and that he meant to charge 3 rooms. He explained that the rec room and traffic area of the small room, he counted as 2 rooms. (The area cleaned IMO was not equivalent to two full bedrooms). He corrected the bill to $208.95.
I suppose I mistakenly assumed that the total cost for the living areas and rooms would be $199, plus the cost of stairs, then the $149 GC deducted. I had assumed my total bill would be approximately $250 minus the $149 GC, leaving just around $100 left to pay. I did pay the $208.95 plus I previously paid $112 ($100 + tax) for the $149 value GC. I am appreciative that the job was done well, but the calculations and cost have left me quite disappointed. It is just not worth it to buy a GC to use against the cost it seems. For the work done, I would recommend Carpet Doctor. For the cost, confusing misunderstandings and overall experience, I will go back to the previous reputable company I had used before. The point of Auction Net is to give customers a chance to try out your company at a discount. The value of the amount bid goes towards your radio advertising. In my opinion, this is not an opportunity to change your pricing and packages just because someone uses a GC.
I have put in GCs from my business to Auction net. The value of the GC and my regular fees are the same regardless of a GC, so my clients get the value the are expecting across the board.
3 months later I realize that the proprietor has changed the response from the issue of the auction certificate to mentioning that we found ONE fresh dead mouse under the couch. (I have cats). Thank you so much for pointing that out for my wellness business and the sanitary conditions here, which I do my best to uphold. Is that something to be mentioned online? NO! UNPROFESSIONAL low blow! I definitely will NOT be using your service again.

Response from the owner:
Thanks for recommending our work, Jackie! It’s not often we find dead mice under furniture when we move it for cleaning but we’re glad we were able to get things somewhat sanitary for you and your clients in your home-based business. Take care!

Joe Tedesco is one of my accountability partners in our Story Athlete community who has also become a cherished friend. I love his writings and insights. In a private chat, we were talking about the context prompts we use for our daily writings. He challenged me to give him a prompt to write on. My first thought was a favorite quote from Longfellow.

I love Joe’s writing so I am sharing here with his permission, plus my response. Ironically our SA GRIT context prompt the next day was “I don’t harbor anger”, so I used my writing to share in our community as well.

_____________________________________________

Mon January 23 2023 6:05 PM
Joe Tedesco: Let’s try something different… how about you send me a prompt/topic to write about for the remainder of January… and I’ll write to you about that!!

Jackie Rioux: Like CJ GRIT daily prompts or you trusting me to send me some random idea?
I’m female… “whatcha thinking about?”. 🤔 😳🙄 lol

Joe Tedesco: Lol… women. I want to write about something different. I can write about anything.

Jackie Rioux: Hmmmm… brain churning here… Smoke coming out of my ears now 🙄😳

Joe Tedesco: No rush to get them all. I just need one by tomorrow morning lol
Your prompts can be a quote, a belief of yours, an observation… anything. I’ll write about it

Jackie Rioux: I am all about quotes

Joe Tedesco: Quotes are easy though. Don’t make them all quotes

Jackie Rioux: “If we knew the secret history of our enemies, it would be enough to disarm all hostility”.
One of my top faves

Joe Tedesco: Damn… that’s a tough one. I’ll write you about that one tomorrow

January 24 2023:
The Secret History of Our Enemies
“If we knew the secret history of our enemies, it would be enough to disarm all hostility.”
=====
I had to look this quote up. There were a couple of words in an expanded version of the quote that made it click for me.
“We Should Find in Each Man’s Life Sorrow and Suffering.”
Is empathy enough to disarm all hostility?
I don’t believe it is.
But I do believe the world would be a hell of a lot better if we were more aware, in the moment, of people’s suffering.
I like to think I’m nice to others. I consider myself empathetic.
But for this to be a way of being, it requires daily awareness & acceptance of my own suffering. As a reminder that we all bleed.
Some cuts are deeper than others. Some of the scars fade, some we carry for the rest of our lives.
And if we wore our secret history on our sleeve, perhaps we would treat one another with more kindness, more empathy, more love.
Perhaps we would see our pain reflected back to us through the experience of others.
And perhaps this reflection would help us understand we’re not alone.
So often, in my own journey, I’ve felt like I was isolated on an island in the middle of nowhere. Believing no one could understand my fears, my frustrations, my pain.
But we all experience these emotions.
And though our secret history varies from person to person, the emotional wounds, I believe, are more similar than we think.
======
Thanks!
Joe Tedesco

________________________________________________________________

Jackie to Joe January 24 2023

This. Is. Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you. Definitely makes me think.
**********************************

My thoughts JACKIE RIOUX
Day of GRIT: #21 of 28, January 24 2023
CONTEXT: “I Don’t Harbor Anger…”

“If we knew the secret history of our enemies, it would be enough to disarm all hostility.” Longfellow

This is probably one of the first quotes I ever shared in my website eons ago. The meaning for me, I think, is when we acknowledge where someone else is in life, we realize that we are all human with human failings. How can we hate or be hostile to someone else for their actions when we realize where they are coming from?
For me, I resented anyone who had anything to do with my 6 year old incident but…. I learned to forgive them because “they knew not what they were doing” in the sense of what Christ said on the cross. They are human and they failed me. No, it doesn’t make what they did right or okay… but understanding and knowingness disarmed hostilities for me.
The 16 year old hitchhiker: He was a boy that my foster brother picked up hitchhiking in the 70s. Not at all unusual at that time. This boy fell thru the cracks of the Indian Affairs social system and ended up living with us for a few months… with a vulnerable 6 year old girl in the house… Plus we had boarders, parents were busy working… easy to not notice nighttime activities.
My foster brother Darrell: He had no idea this ever happened. Ironically, in 2017, I had not seen him in over 25 years, but I was the last person of “family” to see him before he passed in the hospital. I never mentioned it then either. It was not something I wanted him to carry to his grave.
My mom didn’t protect me because she just didn’t know any better. She had her own issues and things she was dealing with. How can a mother even acknowledge what happened when it came out years later? That is a hell of a lot of guilt to bear.
My father seemed protective of me regarding this incident when he found out years later, but having had his own events, he ended up repeating abuse cycles with me in his own way as well.

So, did these people hurt me? yeah. Did they fail me? Yup.

Or… were they co-creators on a soul level of my existence that gave me a gift of human experience and pain that I now use to assist my clients in overcoming their traumas?
*************************************

Kinda mind blowing, eh? I love what you wrote and …. I would love to share in my website if you’re ok with that?

__________________________________________________

Joe Tedesco
Thanks for sharing… I love this way of looking at your experience:

“Or… were they co-creators on a soul level of my existence that gave me a gift of human experience and pain that I now use to assist my clients in overcoming their traumas?”

Beautiful.
And yes, share away if you feel compelled to!
-Joe

Happy New Year 2023!

With my twisted and sarcastic sense of humor, I have been fully aware and amused by some of the memes shared on social media suggesting what might be in store for 2023 after the past few years of global craziness… Are we are going to have the year 2020, Season 3?

We cannot control what is outside of ourselves. No way. No how. Period. But we can create our own life and experiences by tuning in to our own mind and body. We can create our own future! Our imagination is our only limit.

What are you creating in your imagination that will manifest into your physical reality?

There is a psychological phenomenon about celebrating milestones. We get excited for birthdays as a personal milestone. Anniversaries are often celebrated as well, the happy ones at least. We celebrate milestones in personal development such as a baby learning to walk, graduating each year in scholarly educational scales, or commemorating a particular achievement. When a baby doesn’t take their first steps in a certain time frame, they are considered delayed, like there is something wrong. Yes, of course, there may be something in their development that needs to be addressed medically or psychologically. My point here is that it is human nature to feel shameful when we don’t measure up to proposed milestones. We often feel as if we failed when we don’t reach other expectations and goals as well.

What is it about general dates on a calendar though? Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, Halloween, Mothers Day, Fathers Day. Yes, there are often numerous and varying stories about the origins of celebrating occasions and dates on a calendar, but really, what is the purpose of it all other than a way to gather the masses into indoctrinated stupor to spend lots of money on decorations, gifts, parties, etc., only to keep up with the Joneses, so to speak? This promotes guilt, shame, lack of inclusion and lack of acceptance when we can’t measure up.

What is it about New Years January 1st that we tend to believe that we have a fresh start, a clean slate, and a new opportunity to change our lives drastically all because of this date? Why can’t we have this opportunity every morning when we wake up on the right side of the daisies?

The hype around New Years as fresh start is so ingrained into society that many people set New Years resolutions, professing their extravagant goals they intend to achieve for the year. After all the various celebrations throughout December holidays of eating rich foods and drinking alcohol etc., common resolutions are to quit drinking, quit smoking, eat more nutritiously, lose weight, or a combination of these goals. As if a date on the calendar is the magical elixir that will make these goals materialize instantly. Now, I can believe in miracles just as much as the next guy, but realistically, are these resolutions sustainable and or achievable? Not likely.

Did you know that back in 2005 a travel company proclaimed the third Monday in January as the most depressing day of the year? My understanding is that this was part of a marketing campaign to promote a travel opportunity to get away from it all, to find happiness.
Psychologically, this Blue Monday idea makes sense. By the third Monday of January, the December credit card bills arrive to remind us that we have overspent our finances just to impress loved ones and others. The New Years resolutions have often fallen by the wayside, and there is usually a marketing slump in January after all the exaggerated spending in December. Depending on where you live in the world, winter weather can be awfully dismal and depressing as well.

So, how do we avoid all this rollercoaster of indoctrinated stupor? Conscious awareness! Knowing and understanding, and recognizing all this hype is the very first step to avoiding being sucked into brainwashed oblivion. 

I invite you to check out the website Story of Stuff to understand the marketing hype behind such heavily marketed occasions. https://www.storyofstuff.org/

Tuning into our own mind and bodies is the next step in taking full responsibility and accountability for creating our own future. From here, we can step into the world of synchronicity and possibly. The world of real miracles.

Realize that January 1 and New Years resolutions are just a date and a belief that you can choose to participate in, or not.
Years ago, I too bought into the whole resolution idea, and like many others, I also failed to keep on track. At some point I just resolved to be a better person than I had been the year before, and that resolution has been a much more sustainable goal because we are always changing, growing, and evolving.

In more recent years, I have embraced the idea that some people promote having a song or a word to represent the year. I love music, so some of my choices for a song in recent years were No Limits by 2Unlimited, and Rise Up by Vinai.

I recently watched a short video on the concept of a Theme as a resolution for the year: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGuFdX5guE&t=31s

I love this idea! I never quite embraced the idea of a simple word for the year, but the idea of a theme is more expansive and inclusive. A theme is a more sustainable idea for sure.

What is my choice of a theme for the year 2023? TRANSFORMATION.

December is often a time to reflect on the past year to see what changed, what worked, and what didn’t work out in our path of life.

In 2022, the plandemic restrictions lifted considerably and more truths came to light in global consciousness. We were able to go on a few road trips and take in some concerts as well. Much more focus has been on the priorities of shutting out the world and spending time with loved ones, and just simply making the most of creating cherished memories.

I have been super busy with clients throughout 2022. So much so that my business income reached the next level tax bracket, even with many discounted fees offered and redeemed. This is a great “problem” to have, although more paperwork lol. Thank you so much to each and every one of my clients who booked in with me through 2022. I appreciate you!
I am really grateful for being able to share through my website and know that my work and shared knowledge is actually benefitting others.

While there were some wonderful things throughout 2022, by December the list of loved ones lost was looming so much that not many of us were really in any kind of Christmas spirit. Of my 3 closest girlfriends back home, two lost a child in recent months and one lost her mom just days before Christmas. For our family, we have lost about 25 people since July 2022. Extended family, friends, and friends of friends. For the first time ever, we didn’t do much for Christmas at all other than dinners and gifts at daughters’ homes. No decorations or festivities here at my home. All good though. I wasn’t really into the hype of Christmas with so many lost loved ones, so cherishing family time was top of priority.

I know death is a part of life, but sometimes it just hits too close and too often. I could fall into the depths of despair and mire but those still living must pick up the pieces and create a new chapter with cherished loved ones now beyond the veil.
If anything, these losses have been good reason to address my own triggers and give myself a real mortality check in the fleetingness of life. A wake-up call like never before.

Two years ago, I went for some medical tests. There were a few concerns, but I never followed up sufficiently. I do a lot of my own energetic self care, but an imbalance in my small intestine keeps coming up repeatedly. It is time to address these issues with a medical professional. I do have my calendar blocked a bit the first two weeks of January as I take some ME time to address these medical tests and have a scope procedure that I should have had done two years ago. I am finally taking care of that, and me. I am praying that they may find and resolve the issues behind stubborn weight gain issues as well.

Back to the Theme of Transformation for 2023.

If you have been following me for any length of time, you know I have been a member of the Story Athlete entrepreneurial community since April 2020. This open concept community has been a source of inspiration and support that I have been ever grateful for through all the global upheaval and uncertainty the last few years. While I may not have always participated in the monthly GRIT challenge, I have appreciated the continued connection within the community that has enhanced my own personal and business growth.
Story Athlete is all about the integration of Mind, Body, Business, and Relationships through Becoming your own Heroic Self. They promote the 1% journey which, over an extended time, translates to a 37% growth and transformation. This is sustainable and achievable.
Yes, I have already been evolving and transforming as we all do through our entire lives. But now I am embracing Transformation as my theme for 2023. Whether I choose to address medical issues, read books, clean out a corner in my home, take courses, or just spend time with loved ones creating cherished memories, these are all an aspect of transformation. Working with amazing clients is also a form of transformation for both me and my clients as I gain more experiences and they shift energetically.

I think Transformation is quite fitting for me. My published story in 2017 was titled “Transforming Pain into Freedom”. I can look back over so much of my life and see that I have turned Crisis into Opportunity many times as well.

What about a song for 2023? Have you heard the new song from Willie Nelson? This enlightening tune has been shared in many of my forums recently and it is perfect for the concepts of manifestation, meditation, and energy healing.

Willie Nelson – Energy Follows Thought (Official Lyric Video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tXosYPillw

What are you choosing as your theme for 2023? Do you have a song or a word as well?

Let’s prioritize tuning into our own energy and consciousness, and to set achievable goals for ourselves.

Set goals that are realistic for yourself: 
For example, if you want to start exercising but have never done it, rather than saying, “I’m going to exercise every day for three hours!”.
Instead try saying, “I’m going to exercise for thirty minutes three times a week.”
It is always better to expand on your goal than to feel you failed.
Set reminders of your goals. You can stick a post-it note on your bathroom mirror or set a daily reminder on your phone.
Always visualize yourself actioning your goal, or visualize yourself as the result of your goal.
Drink a glass of water each morning while visualizing your goal or what you want to accomplish that day. Your thoughts will go into the water and then into your body.

Remember that January 1st is just a date on a calendar and you can choose to have a fresh start every day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to thank each and every one of you who have been a part of my life this past year in any capacity. I thank you dearly for our exchanges in learning and experiences.

May your New Year be filled with an abundance of love, light, laughter, peace, prosperity, wellness, adventure, community, compassion and Fun!
As you walk your path may you be a blessing to us all. Live life to the fullest, go on those adventures, take time for loved ones, be all who you are. Happy New Year!

Sending you lots of Love and Ladybug Hugs!

*****************************************
From Amy Jo’s emails January 1 2023

New Year’s Resolutions.
This year instead of simply making a list of resolutions, I’ve been using the Court of Atonement to back up my intentions.
Such as taking the statement, “I intend to exercise four days a week.”
I then ask myself, “I fully intend to exercise four days a week? Yes, or no?”
I, _____, place each and every level of my consciousness that did not say yes into a Full Court of Atonement. I ask to analyze my timeline and resolve any and all reasons I did not say yes at their points of origin.

I intend to exercise four days a week. “Yes, or no?”

I repeat this process three or four times until I feel a resounding YES!!
Other resolutions we can work on.
1. I intend to eat at home 90% of the time.
2. I intend to eat no more than 8 oz. portions. (226.8 grams)
3. I intend to remove clutter daily.
4. I intend to pay off my credit cards.
5. I intend to improve my health.
6. I intend to clear my energy twice a day or more.
You get the idea. What other goal could you work on?

Though my time in my Story Athlete entrepreneurial community, I have posted daily writings. From July 2022 through to December 2022,  I sat out of the GRIT challenge these months with the intention of focusing on some other projects offline, but still did some writings here since some people ask what I have been up to.

Jackie Rioux to Chat: Random Topics
July 10 2022 at 9:53 AM
My wake up routine is reading encouraging posts to inspire my day. This morning I read Marc’s post. (About overcoming our own obstacles and keeping commitments to ourselves). Then I read Joe T’s email about conquering the lesser self…

I wasn’t really meaning to spit out a context writing but it happened lol. Here’s my pondering thoughts and hope it makes sense from my alternative perspective:

Of course, I am always thinking of how can I remove energetic blocks that are the basis behind the lesser self.
Is the lesser self our inner child?
Is it the denied aspects of our spirit, the deep dark secrets we never want to face?
Is it a major trauma of our past that needs to be acknowledged, gently healed, and then put to rest so it never rears its ugly head on us again?
Psychologically, trauma keeps us stuck at the age of the event.
Energetically, unprocessed emotions pile up a “log jam” like an energetic tumor of dead cells.
To address this inner child, or unresolved trauma, from what I have learned, we must go within and find it, then nurture a safe space for it to come to the present time with the adult version of you.

Trauma separates and breaks the spirit. This creates a feeling of being scattered, broken, misaligned… because we are!
It is only when we can align all aspects of ourselves into one sovereign self, that we really feel whole.
Feeling whole is when we can really squelch the “lesser self” inner chatter because it has no reason to be there anymore.

This lesser self, which I prefer to call the “lower vibration self”, wants to keep us safe, keep us in the familiar past, keep us in our comfort zone no matter how detrimental that familiar past may be.
By going within and creating a safe place for this inner child/ trauma to move forward to present time we’ll create a current comfort zone where our heroic self — or higher vibration self — can move forward in the flow of life more easily.

Consistency is a comfort zone of sorts. This is how routine can create freedom and space. Consistency is where I tend to get stuck myself. There is where I try to find the log jam energetic blocks so I can create consistency and flow.

Quite often, past trauma may have been a feeling of lack of control because of too much stifling or control over our inner child. Without that previous control over us, a person can feel very lost and unable to create that familiar sense of boundaries, which was actually a violation of boundaries. It really is a lot of confusion.

We always cope through life with the resources and knowledge we have at any given time. We may have regrets of the past. We may replay different scenarios in our mind and get stuck there as well.

If you have ever watched Debbie Ford’s “The Shadow Effect”, you’ll understand that ignoring or burying our past doesn’t work and it will at some point bubble to the surface wreaking havoc on our present lives.

This is all what I have learned so far about the “lesser self”, which really is a lower vibration version of our past self. Energy healing and balancing is the process of finding this past trauma, acknowledging and healing that inner child/ denied aspect/ trauma event to create a safe space in present time and to bring forward and align into wholeness.
There is no separation of lesser self vs heroic self in this analogy. There is only a lower vibration that needs healing to align and integrate with the higher vibration of self to create sovereign wholeness.
*******************************************
Joe Tedesco: Great write up, Jackie! I love the vibration connection you made here.

Jackie Rioux: Remember I shared that Hawkins chart of vibration a while ago? (Power vs Force)
In my world of energy, understanding vibration is the key to understanding everything about life.
Thank you for your email this morning. I especially loved that one and following your marathon journey.

Marc Lindsay
Great post, thanks, love it.
Great questions.
Sometimes I find it’s trauma or protection.
Other times I find it’s engrained behaviours built up over a long period of time that might have arrived from the chaos of trauma but are not specifically trauma related.
Either way the journey is ultimately such a rewarding journey

Jackie Rioux: Thank you. What I have been finding in my work, and seems to be a common concept in my practitioner forums, is that we all carry and are healing ancestral trauma.
Some of these blocks and hindrances aren’t even our own crap!
I agree that this journey of life is fascinating.
I find so much inspiration in others writings and pondering that help make sense of our own journey as relatable and or thought provoking.

Chad Blecha: I agree with having an inner child stuck in time running your emotions from that distant experience.
Until we can find, accept and come to terms with it, it will continue to unknowingly sabotage us thinking it’s protecting us.

Jackie Rioux to Chat: Random Topics
July 30 2022 7:30 PM 
Reflections on this past month.
Although I sat out of GRIT for July 2022, the 27th day of GRIT is always reflection day. I joined Story Athlete back in April 2020, not knowing what I was getting into. I soon realized I found my tribe of like minded souls. Down to earth, straight up good members that have become friends, mentors, and sometimes a listening ear in this safe space. The outside world has gone to hell in a hand basket for far too long and I have leaned on this safe space so much that it truly has become a life line.
Ya, I am the self proclaimed Ladybug Cheerleader here. But where do I turn when I need encouragement? There are too many honey dripping empaths and bleeding hearts out in the world. They are not the kind of people I want to hang with. I want to surround myself with like minded souls who face the world head on and deal with their own sh*t first, then lead the way for others. The entrepreneurial spirit. Kicking ass and taking names. Conquering the lesser self and forging paths for others to follow.

I have learned so much in my time here within this community. I am forever grateful. A few of my previous “follow” members have moved on to other things. I have been feeling kinda the same way honestly. We’re not so much in lock down now; events are opening up again. I have been a hermit for so long, but it is also hard to get back out there when we’ve been treated like societal outcasts and I have lost friends due to societal division. Anyways, I messaged Ashley and Ryan the other day to cancel my membership renewal due today, July 30.
Ok, ya, there has been some major horrible sh*t going on around me the past few weeks, but you’d think I cut out my own heart and life blood when I started hyperventilating and crying just waiting for my SA account to disappear.

Going back to the beginning of July, we have had some deaths of loved ones, too close to home. My high school besties son, age 38. A friends 3 year old cousin. An extended family cousin of my kids, a young father. This all is not including several of my clients where I have been supporting them through some of their own major tragedies of lost loved ones and accidents. This past month has been a minefield of upsets day after day all around us.

Did I mention that three of our five kitties got out and disappeared within days of each other? Then another blow yesterday. This one was my son’s fave coworker killed in a motorcycle accident. My son is headed home from camp work on stress leave. This is hitting him hard. Today my daughter got back into service area from camping and is held up on the highway behind an accident with two fatalities. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just STOP!!!!!!!
In the midst of all these tragedies, another energy practitioner told me that I have “a karmic life lesson that not everyone will be in our lives forever”, and that I need to “go within” to find answers. She said I was too protective of my cats and they wanted their freedom. She added that this karma all ties in with my estranged daughter. It is my grandson’s birthday tomorrow and I haven’t been able to connect with or see three of my grandkids in a year. I know I need to face my own shit, but this “realization” is not sitting well with me right now.

I have been the self proclaimed Ladybug Cheerleader here in this SA community, one of the resident energy practitioners. I am the strong one that handles sh*t and comes out holding my head high. Usually. I have learned that although I am great at helping others overcome trauma, I do NOT handle death very well at all. It triggers me back to my own lost loved ones. I still work through my triggers, but man, death sucks monkey balls especially when it is accidents and young people.

So where does the strong one turn when she needs a shoulder to cry on briefly before straightening her crown and facing the world again? Here in Story Athlete. With my GRIT Warrior community.
I messaged Ryan and got that membership crap straightened out damn quick. As he has said previously in some of his GRIT contexts, writing is a form of self therapy. SA is the best open source, safe space, group therapy. I need this life line more than ever to keep my own sanity in check. Ryan, I have said it a few times, and I will keep saying it: You are an Earth Angel for founding this whole SA community. Thank you. I appreciate each and every member here as well. Truly grateful.
There is a lot of truth in the “struggle together” bonding concept. We each have our burdens to bear. In SA there is always encouraging hope between us when we can share our struggles and find the guiding lights in our pace cars.

Ok.. now that I got all that out…. Something positive:
~ A few clients have lost loved ones and thanked me for the “managing grief” page in my site that has helped them cope through their losses. (I have had to put my own grief process to some good use).
~ A new practitioner friend reached out the other day to tell me she has been meaning to reach out for the past year to tell me that she is very impressed with my website, that it obviously has been a lot of work for me. (Yes, my site has been my outlet for 20+ years…a self empowerment resource and my gift to others).
~ I have had several new clients this past month. Some of them were referred to me from people I wasn’t even aware of that promoted me as “gifted”. Very humbling, yet appreciated. (Maybe I seem to be doing better outwardly than I feel inside some days?).

Looking forward over this next month: My writing focus will be on more of my own website content. With so many new potential clients reaching out, I have many more writings to finish up and add to my site.
I need to get my head back on straight. My personal therapy is rock concerts. The last concert I went to was in 2019. I haven’t bought a ticket yet for Cariboo Rocks next weekend, but thinking I may just do that. Screaming along with 3 days of classic rockers is my therapy indeed.
With my son being home, I feel God’s country is calling for a drive out to Mount Robson. Highway Zen and tunes. No service. Glacial Waters. Nature and the open starry nights. My mountain is calling and I must go.
My SA life line is still intact, so I will be back sooner than later. Peace out.

Brett Wininger: Jackie Rioux sorry to hear about all your loses, having them occur in a short span is definitely overwhelming.
I’m glad you see the value and support of the Community, we are here to share in other’s burdens and joys.
As I have navigated Life’s challenges and difficulties, I’ve found it beneficial to keep my focus on being of Service to others and their struggles.
It helps me to gain perspective and insights on my situations.
For this to work I often have to physically put myself in positions where this can happen.
Cause if I wait till I feel like doing it, it probably won’t happen.
Glad you are still here.

Jackie Rioux: thank you. Everything is going well with clients and serving others.
But when the minefield is around family… ugh.
Just found out my sister’s father in law passed as well.
I’m the matriarch in our family. It’s hard when my own foundations get shaken to the core.

CJ Thomas: Wow, that’s a rough span of events there Jackie. Prayers and best wishes to you.

Neil Sekol: Jackie, I obviously can’t say I understand your recent and current pains. I only know that God can give you grace to endure it. Praying for you and yours at these times of grief and struggles. We are here for you. Just tell us how and when we can help.

Jackie Rioux: thank you. Just having the connection here and the knowing that i have a community of support and safe space that gives me peace and strength. Thank you.

Bob Little: Big hugs to you and your family! We will miss you.

Bryan Harris: Oh hello Jackie. You are in my prayers. May God bless you and your family.

****************************
For anyone who need it, this is my “managing grief” page: https://ladybugwellness.ca/managing-grief/

****************************

GRIT August 2022
SA-Name:// JACKIE RIOUX
Day of GRIT: #1 of 28
Posted to Random GRIT chat August 4 2022

Where’s my techie language people here? I would appreciate some assistance please. I have techie language issues. Oh.. and I have come up with a new term for how I feel: digitally constipated.
***************
Back story:
I am skilled in my own language and industry with energy healing and psychology. I am NOT skilled in mechanics or financial stuff. I have a great mechanic and a great accountant. They take care of stuff for me and I trust them. I have my web host guy too that takes care of hosting my website. I learn the maintenance stuff for my vehicle, accounting, and website and then we’re all good.

I need to buy a new computer. But this is turning into an ordeal!!!!!!!!

It takes me a while to grasp new stuff but when I do, I fly. Example, I have had 7 cell phones since 1998. When I need a new one, I go in to store, tell them what I need and to give me something that will work for my needs. I don’t their sales pitches. Simple. I figure it out from there and sometimes find a new feature that is cool and I am like a kid at Christmas lol.
I hate shopping. I hate having way tooo many choices and decisions that I cannot figure out what is best for my needs. I hate being “sold to” with an overwhelm of marketing.

Here in SA I love that we get ‘er done. But the outside world is damn frustrating when other people, especially business people, are not on the same page with communication.

Computer … I have a dinosaur I bought back before 2012. Mother board has been replaced once. It is a small hard drive desktop running Windows 7 professional with 2010 Microsoft Office Student page as I was in college back then.

Things are running slow. I need upgrades and get with modern techie stuff so I can run my business effectively. I have had to learn Acuity scheduling. Zoom., Logitech camera. Excel. Word. I am not great, but I manage quite well now. I work a lot online with my clients so I cannot be disconnected for very long.

Current ordeal:
I arranged a scheduled appointment with a locally recommended shop so we could use time effectively, or so I thought. They had my computer for a day. Decided to buy new rather than upgrade as they cannot find parts for the compact case I have.
Brought computer home and re-hooked up. Opened Excel. OMG WTF! The interface looked like 1995 dial up and completely blown up. Ran back to shop. He’s never seen that happen before. Installed temp free Libre Office so I can open files but I’ve not been able to work effectively as before as it is missing some features from Excel.

I explained how I my use computer for business and what I do etc. I told him a cost estimate I am prepared to pay which was more than he said was needed. I told him what I paid for current computer years ago so expecting at least that much again if not more for NEW computer. Said it would be a few days to order in. It took a week. Got an email from shop. They need half a day to transfer over all my data.

I finished up everything for that day, disconnected and ran down to shop expecting to be offline a day. Next day (yesterday) I called. There is a problem. He ordered a 500GB computer. My current one is 1TB and I am using 60% of that, so 600GB. He needs to upgrade the new computer already. I reiterated that I want a NEW completely upgraded computer that will work for my needs.

I do not want anything Apple/ proprietary.
I want a desktop not a laptop.
I want something that can be interchangeable and upgradable as needed.
Something that will last a long time, as much as digital hardware will last, at least.
Lots of data memory room.
Options for backup/ synchronization of files. I have pictures and videos from passed loved ones, plus all my business documents.
New Microsoft office package. Word, Excel.
A DVD/CD player that will still play my old disks (backwards compatible, is that right term?)

Now my son alerted me on some other techie processor thing I need for upgrade. SSD vs. hard drive?

I am having serious communication issues and I am still held up on being able to work properly with Excel interface messed up. I appreciate in SA that we all get ‘er done. When I get in the outside world and face communication issues with someone that does not seem to be on board with my just “get it done” attitude, I am frustrated beyond belief right now.

This shop is highly recommended locally. They speak techie language. Why is it so hard to communicate layman’s terms to those outside of the language barrier of your industry to accommodate the needs of the customer? Why is there so much choices and confusion for me. I just want simple that works for me.

I don’t like dealing with new techie stuff so when I decide to make that jump, I want stuff to work properly and be quick and easy. This is not my experience right now. This has been over a month since I first arranged that appointment and started the process with this shop, along with 3 days no computer and I am no farther ahead.

Does anyone here know enough techie language to tell me exactly what to ask for in buying a new computer?
****************
Danny DeGrie: Excel is easy fix. Download from Microsoft.
Tell computer guy you need a laptop with 1 TB SSD storage. Decent processing speed and around 8 GB of RAM.
Don’t worry about brand. Except no apple like you want. Simple.

Jackie Rioux Danny DeGrie Thank you.
Easy solution, I just called another shop. Turns out they were the ones who replaced the hard drive in this one back in 2015.
He completely understood me and I am heading there this afternoon with a whole lot of trust.
At least he is not talking to me like deer in headlights other guy and doesnt make me feel like a dumbass for not speaking techie fluently.
I will use these terms though. Thank you!!!!

Jackie Rioux
Update after 3 weeks of delays and frustration with a “recommended” shop:
Went to the other shop today. He actually understood me. Didn’t make me feel completely techie illiterate, gave simple options for exactly what i want and need PLUS he explained a computer like a human body analogy.
And… talked to me like a fellow small business person.
I don’t know how the first shop is even in business when this guy outshined every other techie person i have ever met.
Oh, and for a minimal charge they have on site set up as well.
Breathe… by mid week I’ll be good to go with modern upgrades.

____________________________________________________________________
SA-Name:// JACKIE RIOUX
Day of GRIT: #5 of 28
<>—<>
GRIT Team Ghost, with a concert goer burnt “tan”

METRICS: 12 Minutes of lively movement
CONTEXT: We’re here for a good time, not a long time

My son is home from work on stress leave as his fave coworker, a mentor to him, passed in a motorbike accident just over a week ago. We lost my son in law Larry in a motorbike accident back in 2018, and he was my son’s big bro. This recent loss is triggering previous loss for my son, and for me as well as I try to support him through this grief process.
I mentioned previously that July was a landmine of losses around our family in various ways.

As I find ways to navigate this time so I can be the strong one for others as I always have been, I am finding that “death” is super triggering for me personally. When I published my story back in 2017, I talked about a trauma analogy as messages in bottles that we keep on a shelf, similar to the idea of ships in bottles.
The concept of that analogy is that every time an upset happens, the bottles fall and shatter into a million shards and it is painful to relive each upset in the tidal waves of resulting emotions. Over time we get better at picking up the mess, and eventually we can store these events in Plexiglass bottles and completely shut the door on the storage room of memories.

This is kind how the amygdala and the PSOAS muscle works in storing trauma memories. Everything needs to be cleaned out properly then stored away neatly sealed up. If not processed properly, these memories will wreak havoc in our lives when they eventually explode like the time bombs they are. The explosives must be diffused properly before storage. (Reference suggestion: watch Debbie Ford documentary “The Shadow Effect”).

Back to how we are coping over here. Sometimes it is good to just cut loose and forget the world for a bit. After an almost 3 year hiatus, Cariboo Rocks finally happened. Eleven bands over 3 days. I had gone to the previous 2 annual events and was front and center, showing up in the promo pan shots over the audience. We got tickets the day before this event. My eldest daughter, my son, and me. We kinda joked around with some other attendees that so many of us felt like we were “getting outta jail” finally with the dreaded C19 lockdown that dragged on for far too long.

We did have great time at the concert. I had no desire or enthusiasm to be front and center this time though. We wandered around, danced along a bit, and generally stayed back from the main crowds. I got in the equivalent of 5K in steps through each evening.
These were classic bands. Music is the language of the soul. It invokes all the memories and the feelings, the emotions of present and past.
Tom Cochrane played Big League. The tears flowed freely for that one. My SIL Larry was in a hockey league, that song is a Larry song. Then, Boy Inside The Man was an Andy song we used in his tribute video.
Trooper is a Canadian local iconic band. A long time fave. One of their songs was written about a coastal town close to where I grew up, known as the Rainy City.

The lyrics go like this:
“A very good friend of mine
Told me something the other day
I’d like to pass it in to you
‘Cause I believe what he said to be true
He said
We’re here for a good time
Not a long time
So have a good time
The sun can’t shine every day
And the sun is shinin’
In this rainy city
And the sun is shinin’
Oh, isn’t it a pity
And every year, has its share of tears
And every now and then it’s gotta rain
We’re here for a good time
Not a long time
So have a good time
The sun can’t shine every day”

I was so glad that my son actually had a good time and enjoyed the 3 days. His workplace posted an endearing obituary for his co-worker and I think the concert may have lifted his spirits a bit at least.

There was a lot of time to think though. Realizing that “death” triggers me so much, I have been trying to address this within myself. Going all the way back to age 12 when two little girls I babysat on regular weekends died in a house fire on a Monday afternoon. With that same family a few years later, I had babysat their baby son on a weekend. That baby died of SIDS with another babysitter days later.
When I dated my children’s father, I went to a family funeral at 4 months pregnant , then many more. My daughter was in grade 3 when I took her to a funeral for her 5 year school mate. I can list off way too many tragedies and all the tribute markers in my home town.

I can think back to so many deaths too close our home and family spanning many years. Do I just know too many people? Connections through a small home town? I know death is a part of life, but holy crap. Can I please get off this roller coaster?

No wonder “death” is so triggering for me!!! Each and every time there is a death close to me, those ships in bottles shatter into a million shards of painful memories. Each death triggers a “mortality check” of re-evaluating life and priorities. I just read the fisherman’s parable again. It is about a fisherman approached by a businessman encouraging him to amplify production and make it big, and all for the end result of doing what the fisherman is already doing in enjoying life. Maybe this is why I have no attractions to anything big and flashy in life?

I am so thankful for my energy balancing skills and my prayer cards to get me through low places. Psalm 23 and the Lord’s Prayer. Whether you are a religious person or not, these two passages are essential to lifting and clearing energy. Energy balancing is a way of creating sunshine inside and not depending on the outside world. I am finding ways to get myself unstuck from the triggers of all these deaths and the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) I feel on behalf of the losses of young lives.

I have always been the strong one that others can lean on. I have had to be the strong one because I have never had the luxury of being protected fully. My father protected me in his own skewed way. Both of my ex husbands had the backbone of a jellyfish. In Body Code, we have some terminology “spirit out of body”, “no will to live”, and “will to die” imbalances. I have felt “knocked out of my body” quite often lately and have had to re-ground myself regularly the past few weeks particularly. Today, August 8, is what is called the Lion’s Portal, a heightened energetic pull of earth energy that is excellent for clearing out energetic clutter then manifesting and creating a better life. My computer is going in the shop today (this is IT finally!). Without internet connection, I am focusing today on my own energy healing.

I am doing my best to re-prioritize the life I am living to make it a good one because ….

“We’re here for a good time
Not a long time
So have a good time
The sun can’t shine every day”

</End-of-GRIT-Post>

Neil Sekol: Praying for you, your son, and all others impacted by these recent losses.
Jackie Rioux: Neil Sekol thank you.

Brett Wininger: Jackie Rioux
Father, strengthen your Daughter as she strives to be a source of strength and comfort to others however she needs her comforters and supporters also.
May she continued to be uplifted so she can develop her voice that will positively impact others that have experienced similar losses and will need that encouraging and empathic word from another.
Help to remind her that all pain here, all suffering here and all losses here are just temporary, one day all of these will be eliminated forever.
In Jesus precious name we pray, Amen.
Jackie Rioux: Brett Wininger thank you so much.

Ladybug Wellness: Marnie McBain I chose #3… fitting for me, eh? (Intuitive Butterfly card reading about “Dog” spirit animal being a protective mom)
Marnie McBain: Very fitting…it seems truly amazing to me how there is so much death in one person’s life…the understanding of death, the processing of death, I believe (after reading your above message) is one of your soul’s important messages in this lifetime…And this type of lesson isn’t given to young souls…this is only a lesson given to old souls – those souls who have the strength and capacity to understand, process and learn…death is not truly an ending – it’s an ending to our understanding of physical life – but the soul is eternal…And although the living continue to miss the physical presence of those who’ve crossed over, we know their soul is eternal.
Much Love Jackie…Rest, relax and take that break you deserve so much
Jackie N. Rioux: Marnie McBain I’m not liking this “lesson”.
Marnie McBain: Jackie N. Rioux I feel like it’s one that you’ve pretty much mastered…you’re going to be ready to move forward soon…

August 9 2022
SA-Name:// JACKIE RIOUX
Day of GRIT: #6 of 28
<>—<>
GRIT Team Ghost
METRICS: 12 Minutes of lively movement
CONTEXT: Music is the language of the soul

What is music? It is a vibrational energy. Recognizing that everything is energy, and everything is connected through energy and vibration, it is understandable that music is considered a universal language of the soul.
******************
Some poignant quotations on music:

Why music is the language of the soul?
The melodies alone are able to convey messages, soul to soul. A beautiful melody can bring tears to one’s eyes. It is powerful enough to soften the hardest heart and heal the most painful memory. Music breaks barriers of time and space, provides comfort for the grieving, and calms the anxious mind.

“Music, once admitted to the soul, becomes a sort of spirit, and never dies.” “Music touches us emotionally, where words alone can’t.” “Where words fail, music speaks.” “Music is the universal language of mankind.”

“Music speaks the language of the soul, penetrating into the past and resonating into the future, unearthing pain and tenderness and sorrow and joy, reminding us of our infinite fragility and extraordinary strength, reigniting our dreams and passions once again to remind us of who we are meant to be.”
**********************

Music can stir emotions of anticipation and motivation. It can heal through specific Solfeggio Hz tones. It can soothe, and it can rile up the masses.

The famous water experiment conducted by Masaru Emoto showed how words and music infused into water could change the water crystals into pleasant beautiful patterns or scattered discordant patterns depending on the positive or negative vibration the water was exposed to. The human body is composed of 50 to 75% water, on average. This means that music can have a significant impact on our minds and bodies.

I often reference this analogy in regards to the depth and feeling of music: two music critics were listening to singers audition a love song. The seasoned critic pointed out the difference between two of the singers. One sang the love song eloquently, but with no depth. The other had experienced heartbreak and therefore sang from a place of pain which gave the song a more genuine emotional depth. The reasoning here is akin to the nightingale that throws itself into a thorn bush, and pierces itself. Only then does it sing its most beautiful songs.

Have you ever resonated with analogies like these and referenced them numerous times, only to be blindsided with another analogy that ties everything together?

This morning I came across a poetry piece from John Roedel, known for his Hey God, Hey John musings. This poem was about feeling broken with numerous holes in his heart. God said he is now like a woodwind instrument that can make beautiful music. Whoa.

There is another concept of looking back at life as a tapestry, like a work of art where the dark threads represent the low times that highlight the lighter threads and good times. Sometimes life can get really low and crappy when we lose loved ones and the voids feel like holes in our hearts. We may think of our passed loved ones as spirits that can feel like a cool breeze around us.
Putting this all together, it is an endearing thought that we can still make music from the depths of our soul and cherish all the memories of a life well lived.
</End-of-GRIT-Post>

August 11 2022
SA-Name:// JACKIE RIOUX
Day of GRIT: #8 of 28
<>—<>
GRIT Team Ghost
METRICS: 12 Minutes of lively movement
CONTEXT: I embrace new technology…

I embrace new technology… Or do I? After the month-long ordeal with one shop, I went to another shop last Friday and yesterday a tech came on site to set up and install everything. Impressive when someone can be efficient and effective with customer service.
I think the last time I had any proper computer upgrades was back in 2015. I have always had a hard time transitioning to new techie stuff, but once I do grasp it all, I can fly solo no problem.

That is where I am at today. Adjusting to all the updates and new-fangled funky look of everything. I think I have most of the distracting bells and whistles and pop ups shut off now. I am a Keep It Simple Sweetie (KISS) kind of person.

Business is going quite well. Keeping with the times and modern upgrades are necessary to serve my clients in the best way possible. This is not a comfortable process for me, but I do my best to embrace new technology that will create a better life in the long run.
</End-of-GRIT-Post>

August 18 2022
Summer has flown by way too quick. I had no idea what I was getting into last weekend volunteering for a music festival two hours away in a natural habitat nestled in the Mount Robson Valley. Just stayed one night and helped out in the kitchen and at a security gate. They say it is not a “hippie fest”. No, it is not quite so unregulated, but they are a lot of amazing “granola” type people that appreciate nature’s bounty in many ways. I met several wonderful people there.
Silly me though, I wore my flip flops the first day and paid for it dearly with tired sore feet after walking and being on my feet quite so much. Thankfully Melissa gave me a bit of a foot rub while sitting under a tree by the performance stage.

Once I got home, I scrambled to get prepared for my Reiki class on Monday August 15th. This was a family affair and lots of fun with these ladies. Mother, sister and daughter team.
One interesting highlight of the morning was that the daughter is extremely intuitive and saw a man behind me saying “I love you”. Of course, I know that is Andy. She also saw a young boy playing a poking his head out from my Reiki room. We had a sidetracked discussion for a few minutes about Andy, Larry and Darrel.
Later in the day, she told me that my guides are screaming a warning to not get into a yellow and white cab. We have no idea what that was supposed to mean, but point taken.
The Reiki class was fun and it was an enjoyable and interesting day with these ladies.

I found out this week that there was a memorial event for Darrel in Grande Prairie last weekend at his brother’s home. His sister had posted in a group where I am not a member because his mom blocked me. While I feel left out in never having been acknowledged in my feelings for my soul mate, why does this really matter? No one can ever take away from me my memories and the soul connection I had, and continue to have, with Darrel.

This morning, Jared and I are taking off for a turn n burn quick road trip to Terrace so we can visit friends and family and just go for a long 6-hour drive. Back for Saturday to help Melissa with Summerfest fair booth.

I am slowly adjusting to all the updates and newness of my computer and software etc. I seem to have lost all my sign in passwords which is making things frustrating but slowly getting through that and getting back to business as usual.

August 21 2022
We are back from Terrace. We were there pretty much just 24 hours. It was a 6-hour drive with a with potty and snacks stops. We spent the evening visiting with my mom and sister Tammy. Their new cat Coco took to me quickly and slept near me all night.
in the morning, I had my monthly session call with Sue V. We had a little trouble connecting at first with technical issues but a long good chat. It always amazes me what she finds for imbalances for me. Fascinating as usual.
Mom and I went to visit Ruth, my “Big Sis”. Ruth was a postal coworker years ago and my shoulder through some tough times. We had an interesting tea time chatting about genealogy. Then we drive into town to have a quick visit and hugs with Ingrid at work on her break. She works in the floral dept surrounded by pretties.
Even though I just talked to Kerry a few days before, I didn’t manage to connect with her for a visit, but we drove up to the cemetery to see Andy’s memorial plaque and found a few others place markers for other people we have known.
We went back out to Mom’s place and stopped at a few garage sales along the way. I found a brand-new Epicure multipot (retail value $70) for a mere $3. Start the car and run!!!
Jared spent the day with his paternal grandparents, as was the purpose of this quick visit. Once he was back with us, we went out for dinner at a Japanese Ninja restaurant.
I had shown Mom how to sign up for Flashfood app and got her first purchase with a promotional discount. We got gas while there and headed back to Mom’s place to pack up and head out. Jared and I had quite a long reminiscent chat through the whole drive.
We got in and into bed about 2 am. This was a quick trip because I had promised Melissa that I would man her booth for Summerfest downtown. We were there from 10 am til almost 4 pm. Unfortunately, the BCNE fair was also this weekend, so Summerfest was not as well attended as in the past. I told Melissa we probably need to look at Returns on Time and Investment for these fairs. She does well with having her artisan products carried in local stores and listed online for sale, but manning a booth for several hours does not seem to be the best use of time for such limited exposure.
Driving a total of 12 hours in a two-day span caught up with me and I opted to go to bed early last night.
Today my focus has been on website pages and business computer projects.
I have opened up my scheduler for this week and already getting bookings coming in fast. YAY!

August 31 2022:
I reflect on my results:
In our Story Athlete (SA) community, the end of the month is a time to reflect on the past month of progress. This has been a great personal habit to develop and to continue, whether I participate in the monthly GRIT challenge or not.
Reflection gives us a change to see what is working and what is not. The best part is that reflection is encouraging when we can see how far we’ve come in 30 days. Mini increments to our personal growth journey are not so visible in the daily wash rinse repeat cycle, but 30 days can add up to significant progress.

Many of my practitioner forums have been talking about triggers, more intense earth energy (Schumann Resonance), and astrological influences. While I do notice some of these issues in myself and around me through family, friends, clients and community, I also have learned that continuously working on ourselves brings much more of a resolved observational type of inner peace rather than a reactive type personality to life’s curveballs.

July was an awfully crappy month all around, emotionally, with losses triggering me. I am blessed with energy balancing skills to cope through traumatic upsets, and to be able to turn low times into inspirations I can then share with my clients and others around me.
August was an upswing for the most part. We took in a 3 day/ 11 band concert festival, a camping style folk music festival, then a quick road trip to my home town.

Mind: Music is the language of the soul, and this month was definitely a music month with two festivals. The 6 hour (each way) road trip drive with my son was an assortment of Highway Zen tunes from AC/DC and Rammstein to Roxette and Zamfir. A lot of reminiscing and memories shared. Precious time with my son. Visits with dear friends soothe the soul as well.
I have mentioned many times previously that I have another practitioner I work with for myself and we find some interesting imbalances for me to address! As I already knew, “death” came up as a trigger for me and in clearing that energy, I have made a few realizations. I have been “stuck” with regards to my SIL’s memorial tributes. I have wanted to make a proper tribute for him in my website instead of on an unstable social media platform. I have a page for him but I have realized that a PDF “book” would be a better way to gather everything in one place. I am now working on that project so I can finally lift that weight from my mind.

Body: While I have not engaged in full on workouts consistently, I have made time to keep stretching and moving daily. One thing to mention here was that at the camping style music festival, I walked around in flip flops all the first day and I crippled myself for that mistake! I got in the equivalent of 5K steps both days. I wore orthotics the second day. I KNOW I should always wear proper footwear. Camping at a hippie-granola style festival is no excuse. I paid dearly for that lack of self-awareness and care. Not much else to report on Body other than detoxing supplements and middle-aged female issues. Ya, that kind of fun stuff. I’m 55 so it is about time for that transition. Thankfully I know how to balance my own hormones so I do have to experience some of the horrors that many other women have professed. I did have a few days of down time though. Rest and rejuvenate. I do feel pretty good now after all that detoxing though.

Business: The biggest news this month was upgrading an entirely new computer and software. Remember that I am a “non techie”? I am quite proud of myself that I have managed quite well adjusting to everything and am now flying efficiently enough. I did lose all my passwords somehow so that has been a fun ride with ADHD Scrat brain, but again, I am managing quite well so far. My focus has been to catch up emails and website content. I have a good system now; I just need to be consistent. A day off still means two days behind. I am working on that aspect as well trying to make the best use of some automation while keeping client connection personal and manageable.

I blocked my calendar a bit this month knowing I would be away here and there. Every time I unblock a spot, someone books in immediately. I find it inspiring and encouraging that I can look ahead a week and have “nothing booked in”, but by the end of the week I have been full of appointments. I am really blessed to have the clientele and connections that I have. So many wonderful people. The rewards for me personally in working with clients and see miracles unfold daily, is beyond priceless. I have a really rich life in blessed connections.

That brings me to Relationships. I figured with road trips and concerts that I would just lapse my SA membership since I sat out of GRIT a while anyway. Big mistake. I seriously started hyperventilating! Ok, maybe I am not in the partner investor part of SA. Maybe I am not participating in GRIT every month consistently. But I have been a part of this open-source entrepreneurial community for the past 2+ years. These are like minded souls of business and personal growth type mindsets. People who keep accountability and integrity as the forefront in their lives. These are connections I want to emulate and to keep close. To keep on a progressive growth path, it is wiser to soar with the eagles than to commiserate with pigeons. When I go out in public, it sometimes is too “people-y” out there. Too “pigeon holed” and restrictive in closed minded thinking.
Side tracked thoughts: Did you know that the life span of a pigeon is about 6 years, while an eagle is about 30 years? I wonder the reasons behind that fun fact and why eagles are so revered.
Honestly, I love all birds and I am not discriminating our feathered friends here, but the figurative analogy is interesting to me. My thoughts are now wondering if Scrat may be food for eagles… uh oh… Good thing I can identify with eagles as a Spirit Animal rather than a pigeon.

One of the main philosophies of Story Athlete and GRIT is that those who struggle together, bond together. I need my SA community because this is my form of group therapy lol!

Overall, this has been a pretty good month and decent progress as well.
This past week, I watched a Turkish Netflix series called Another Self (English dubbed). It is a movie about 3 women, college friends, facing some struggles so they take a trip to the seaside. The kicker for me in this series is that it shows Family Constellation Therapy energy healing technique which is the idea behind the ancestral healing I do in my own energy healing work. It is wonderful that energy healing is becoming so much more accepted and recognized. With more people starting to understand their own journey of addressing ancestral and personal healing, practitioners like me are becoming much more sought after with busy schedules. Very rewarding indeed to have the honor of sharing my passions with them.
I’ll be sitting out of GRIT again for September as I have another road trip planned mid-September. We’ll see how everything falls into place as this month is also milestone birthdays for my son (30) and my granddaughter (19).
Check back here for updates…

Sept 8: I finally got in with a decent hair stylist at a salon. Three hour appointment with color correction, cut and color. This one FINALLY got all that dreaded black out from too much residual color. YAY!!! The only drawback was when I went to pay. Nope, I did not confirm cost beforehand. So, $345 with a 15% tip was $380. I have never spent that much on my hair before. OMG!!!! But, we got the annoying black color out.

Jackie N. Rioux
September 12 at 5:18 PM
Laugh with me not at me, mkay?
I have been in my home 16 years. I love my duplex and it is my oasis. Not being the handyman type, I have had to learn a few skills along the way. All good. I have had some pretty poor experiences with hired handymen in the past, but more recently blessed with some contacts I can count on for repairs etc. Life is pretty good that way now.
A few weeks ago, the combination light fixture fan in my bedroom needed a new lightbulb. I went and got one from the cupboard and replaced it as I have done many times before over the years.
Well, the whole thing glitched. Another bulb blew. I replaced that one. Now nothing seemed to work with the bulbs having a dim and glitchy glow. Ok, great fun… add to to-do list of repairs. Not super important because it is still light out in the evenings. I hate shopping so having to purchase a new light fixture is not on my priority list.
My mom is coming to town this week though so I better get on this somewhat simple project.
My former son in law from 2 years ago is a certified electrician. I reached out to him and explained the problem. He said he could stop by tomorrow and check it all out, but first some questions.
Does the fan work? I checked. I don’t use that fan much, but yes it did turn on. I explained that it goes, but it is kinda laboring and sounds like a sick cow.
Ok, good. Did you use LED lightbulbs? I checked the light bulb box. Yup, well aren’t all new lightbulbs LED now? Yes, he says…
Next, is the light fixture on a switch or a dimmer? A dimmer.
Now check the bulbs if they are dimmable.
Well, sh*t. Apparently not.
We’ve had a history with some dumbass naivety between us. Like the time he jumper cabled my vehicle and set off sparks on a still connected cable. Thank God we can have some laughs at my predicaments…
Apparently, I need to just go shopping and do better at reading the labels on the wide selection of lightbulbs.

September 12 2022
Jackie How much are you charging for expert advice for dumba** here? Lol
Darren: Hahaha. For you it’s always free advice lol
Jackie: Thank you. Thank God it’s only you and not some stranger lol.
Darren: You’re welcome. Yes, some stranger would probably try and milk it for sure
Jackie: Say hi to your mom when you tell her your dumba** of the day story lol
Darren: I will. My dumbass story of the day is don’t assume someone turned off the breaker. Test with your tester not your fingers. Otherwise, it’s a shockingly good time. Haha 🤦
Jackie: I remember similar with jumper cables lol
Darren: I still haven’t learned my lesson apparently lol
September 19 2022 12:16 PM
Jackie: hi….. soooo…. does using wrong lightbulbs fry the whole thing?
Jackie: I got incandescent ones and I got LED dimmables… nothing works at all now. I flipped switch too. Changed out all 3 bulbs. Nothing.
Darren: Shouldn’t fry anything by changing bulbs. Pull cord on the fan off?
Jackie: FFS! I am a dumba**
Jackie: Thank you … again.
Jackie: I am just gonna blame Mercury Retrograde ok? Sheesh… Mom was here a few days. You’d think we would have figured it out.
Darren: Well. I’m just glad it works anyways. I’d blame retrograde too haha.
Darren: And you’re welcome 😊

Jackie N. Rioux: Not the first time I have had issues… This was another funny incident:
https://www.facebook.com/jackie.h.rioux/posts/pfbid0LmcQ7Hofz9tmU1AaPwVrpRG1Ab1jRxBmB68B1anF89bmMFys5w1c5j88gSeyXY2Fl

Debby Loset: Oh, Jackie…you’re awesome…hahaha 😂 Know that you’re not alone with this stuff. I can relate!
Jackie N. Rioux: Debby Loset I try…. At least i am good for entertainment 😛
Debby Loset: Goes to show that no matter how smart we are, there are just some things that “aren’t our forte”, hey? 😊
Jackie N. Rioux: Debby Loset exactly. I am super skilled in energy balancing, alternative holistic stuff.
Techie and mechanical stuff high lights my inner dumbass with glowing reviews.

September 25 2022. Where the heck did the past month go? Several people have been asking me what’s up over here. I haven’t been posting regular daily GRIT posts. Haven’t jumped back in yet. So, another catch up post here for those asking about my personal life:

I had blocked off some of my September calendar anticipating family visiting and a possible practitioner retreat in Okanagan Falls. The retreat is being postponed til spring.

Sept 15, 16: Mom and sister Tammy, as well as SIL Mike came into town for birthday celebrations. For my granddaughter Lizz’s 19th birthday, we all enjoyed teppanyaki cuisine at Shogun restaurant. Our chef put on quite an amazing show.
Then for my son Jared’s 30th birthday, we had a BBQ and ice cream cake with family and friends. He is not fond of a big fanfare so we kept it all low key. He had just got home in time for Shogun dinner and went back out to camp work on the 20th.
Mom and sister were here a few days, then went to visit my sister Danya in southern BC, then were back here for two nights before leaving for their home this morning.
Feels like a whole lot of whirlwinds, but all good.
I unblocked my calendar and… I love my clients… time slots filled up quickly.
We had a brief 3.4 earthquake here on September 21st afternoon. Quite shocking as this is not normal here. Honestly, we and many others felt like something hit the buildings we were in, others didn’t feel anything. Thankfully brief and as some have said, good thing to relieve pressure in tectonic plates to avoid anything worse.

September 17: I have had a recommended book on my shelves for ages and finally read it. I cringed, I cried, I laughed my butt off out loud. Bittersweet and so endearing. If you love animals, you must read this book … and check out their website and YouTube as well.
“If only they could talk”, Bonnie Reynolds and Dawn Hayman Spring Farm CARES. It is all about the beginning of their rescue sanctuary in New York.

While Jared was home, we have been watching streamed 911 series. He has commented that this series has evoked the most tears and laughter from me. Shush!! But, ya.
When he is gone to work camp, I sometimes watch some shows on my own. I watched Netflix Life after Death series with Tyler Henry. It was interesting for me anyway. He reads people and delivers messages from passed loved ones. Those processes with a trusted intuitive can be quite healing.

That’s it for personal catch up this month. Otherwise, I have been focusing on re-arranging website pages to be more user friendly in the site map. Yes, I seem to be doing that continuously. I just find it better to add another page in my site to write and or to answer repetitive client questions and concerns.

When time seems to fly by these days, I feel it is imperative to write more in my site to address more collectively. There is only one of me and many people out there that I hope to serve in the best way I can.

I had been feeling like my writing skills have been “constipated”. In my monthly session with “My Lady Sue”, we addressed this and released some blocks. Something definitely shifted as I now feel more clarity and hopeful. It has been really weighing on me that I need to write a memoir of my third daughter and my experiences there before I can fully make a nice tribute for my passed SIL Larry. That is another project I am working on now.

That’s all for now, folks.

Posted to SA random topics
Jackie Rioux November 9, 2022
I’d appreciate some thoughts or advice from anyone who would care to chime in.
two of my long time friends from back home (known them 25+ years) lost their children in the last few months. One just posted this article today.
These deaths are only 2 of about 20 people our family knows within 2 degree separation that have passed since July.
I have been absolutely stuck for words and I have been having to work through my own triggers with death.
I lost my SIL 4 years ago. That is the closest I have come to losing a child (I have 4 by birth). I have known too many other cases from years past of people who have lost children and it is beyond human imagination of devastating no matter the circumstances.
I read this article and it is just not sitting right with me and I cannot vocalize why.
I know we shouldn’t compare pain and tragedies, but I still cannot get past the idea of losing a child being the worst thing any human being can go through.
If anyone wants to offer a “GRIT” perspective, I am all ears.
https://midlifepursuits.com/four-reasons-why-you-should-never-compare-your-pain-with-others/

Arleigh Cortez: I’m not really sure what you’re asking.
but I will share that I did lose a child.
2 days after he turned one.
and yes… in my whole life, it is the worse pain I have felt in my life.
with that being said, I think people FEEL harder than others.
so, there may be situations in which, for that person, could be waaay worse.
people kill themselves for less.
is losing a child the worse tragedy?
maybe.
but I would imagine that a husband or wife losing their spouse could be just as painful.

Neil Sekol: My in-laws lost their only son to cancer before he turned 25. That was 23 years ago and it hurt the whole family. Then my f-i-l lost his oldest daughter (60) 2 months ago to cancer. And last week my f-i-l lost his younger brother at the age of 78 to cancer. These all followed my f-i-l losing his Dad (early 50’s) in his sleep. He ended up being the primary support for his Mom and his d-i-l. The daughter’s family and his brother’s family are 8 and 25 hours away, respectively. But it still hurts, but perhaps not as much as a younger son who was minutes away and always in communication. Just an outsider’s observation.

CJ Thomas: Michelle Ellis may have some insight here.
My mom’s been beyond devastated for the last 1.5 years since losing my dad. It’s conceivable that she’d be worse off had it been one of her four boys… but at some point, pain and suffering is just pain and suffering, right? The comparison doesn’t really help much.
Per your point, “I still cannot get past the idea of losing a child being the worst thing any human being can go through.” Hard to say, right? Children have been abducted and put through the sex trafficking industry. You couldn’t really tell one of them who escaped that there’s a worse kind of pain and suffering that they’ll never know, right?
But let’s just assume for a moment that you’re 100% correct- that losing a child is the worst pain of all. Now what? Seriously, now what? (Please don’t take the following the wrong way.) But does it really help at all to know that you’ve won the Victim Olympics? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. But I think we’re focusing on the wrong question from the onset. Rather than ranking suffering from easiest to hardest, the real question becomes ‘What comes next?’ — Who will you become following the tragedy? Will it become the event that defines you for the remainder of your days? Or will you find a way to transmute that atrocity into a catalyst, a mission, a passion, a purpose, a calling, an homage to the person who’s no longer around to have the experiences and impact on this plane of existence that you can?
Obviously, this isn’t easy and it’s highly likely that the pain never goes away entirely. But I find it more interesting to ponder: Has somebody else gone through similar pain AND found a way to move forward/ give more/ contribute more/ be inspired/ become inspiring/ live abundantly/ carve out a path/ help others/ etc… despite (or more likely, because of) the unthinkable event you’ve endured?
None of this is meant to invalidate your suffering. But I think it makes a massive difference which question you focus on: Is my suffering the worst? VS. Who am I going to become in the aftermath?
Much love to you regardless.

Jackie Rioux: CJ Thomas this is exactly what I needed, thank you. I am trying to be the one as a example to move forward yet I am still in a form of stuck.
I just seem to be more stuck with the recent landmine of deaths.
I have been working thru and although I think I have come so far, we have still found victim energy in me. Yikes.
It’s a learning curve for sure.
Thank you for your insights. So many good points.

December 1 2022
Holidays are no biggie around here. I don’t get myself caught up in all the busy-ness anymore. Pretty laid back.
I am just human like everyone else and have my own little life upsets that I need to work through. At least I have the tools to do so. I got really triggered a few weeks ago, going back to home town. I have been working through those triggers and may have overdone it lol. I keep going clearing stuff til I knock myself out… or out of my body lol.
Other than that. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is the end of the year! Tax stuff, website stuff, keeping up with all that. Business promos through the radio. Amy Jo put all those classes on sale and I got several messages asking my recommendations, and other questions. I got a bunch of FCOA stuff cleaned up, then made a YouTube video about organizing all of it.
So… nothing “wrong” here, just I needed my own boost of some intense self care 🙂
I am hibernating. We have -18 C out there right now. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR lol

I have had several clients talk about being in good and bad relationships. Thankfully Emotion Code energy work can bring some clarity in the choices we make in life to avoid toxic people and get out of bad situations and to enhance good relationships so they flourish.

The ultimate lessons in life are to learn to love, and to learn to be loved. When it comes to relationships with the opposite sex, it’s friendship on a whole different level. These days with the promiscuity of sex, it is possible to have meaningless, loveless ‘relationships’ based only on sex and lust. Some people even have relationships based on circumstances and loneliness rather than wanting to be there. Some people think “there’s lots of fish in the sea”, or “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”. This is delusional thinking.

Sometimes in life we are lucky enough to meet someone that sends our whole world spinning. There is not only an attraction and spark, but also shared experiences–moments and memories that make being with that person special. It feels exhilarating, safe, and peaceful all at the same time. You “click” and fit like a puzzle piece–at least it feels that way. We’re not really puzzle pieces, we need to be whole and individual before being in a successful relationship. You look forward to talking to and being with that special person and this can make or break your whole day. Interaction with that special someone can stir up indescribable feelings inside that make you want to give anything to make that person happy, and to say and do anything that will express these feelings.

There are three powerful little words in the English language that sum up all these feelings. So powerful are these three little words that they should be reserved only for someone really special, and only when feelings come from the heart. The words: I love you.

‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’ 1 Cor. 13:4-7

Of all the great literary works in this world, this is the best description of unconditional love. In these days of so much lies and deceit, if you are ever fortunate enough to find this kind of unselfish, unconditional love; love that is not based on what a person has, or hasn’t got, whether it be a trait or something material, then you have found God’s most precious gift to man, and it should be cherished!

I read a book in 2009 called “Sacred Marriage”. Quite interesting. These are my notes:

Why do people get married? What is the purpose for marriage? What makes a happy relationship?

The exclusive intimate relations is number one for many. What happens when physical ailments or old age come into play?
Kids? They grow up and move away. What is left then?
Having someone special in your life all the time? Ya… but does that last? What happens on one of your grumpy mornings when he/she has left the toothpaste cap off for the millionth time? Or that fateful morning when you wake up and roll over and think.. what the hell have I done??
Hollywood seems to have really changed that whole ‘soul mate’ thing… everyone is now searching for that someone special to send them head over heels in love. But is that really what it is all about? Makes for good movies anyway.
Before emotions get in the way and your head gets in a tizzy, there should be more to it. Marriage is a contract to be kept forever.. til death doth part us. So.. how do you go into a contract like that and make it last when you are putting your entire life on the line. Your future happiness and everything?

The secret behind finding someone special is to find someone in line with your life’s purpose first and let the emotions come later… and they will when it is RIGHT 🙂

I started contemplating some thoughts on marriage in a note back on July 16th 2009. Why do people have the desire to spend their lives with someone when quite honestly, no two people are really compatible and this puts people in the vulnerable position of having their heart ripped out by a chainsaw when things go wrong????? I have since started reading a book called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.
Book reports were never my strong point, but I am really enjoying this book and would like to share some points from my reading so far. I highly recommend reading this one.

-What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?
-By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. ~Socrates
-Like everything which is not the involuntary result of fleeting emotion but the creation of time and will, any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting than any romance, however passionate. ~W.H. Auden
-Hollywood has distorted the idea of love to the point that we now think love should always be passionate and romantic. People give up too easily now and bail out when things get rough… but that is where true love and commitment flourish and grow. Many don’t take the time to get that far.
-Romantic love has no elasticity to it. It can never be stretched; it simply shatters.
-If the purpose of marriage was simply to enjoy an infatuation and make me ‘happy’, then I’d have to get a ‘new’ marriage every 2-3 years.
-Much of the dissatisfaction of marriage comes from expecting too much from it. (We expect our spouse to fill a place where we were designed for only God to fill).
-(Marriage) is the merciless revealer, the great white searchlight turned on the darkest places of human nature. ~Katherine Anne Porter
-Augustine (A.D. 354-430) suggested there are 3 benefits of marriage: offspring, Faith (fidelity), and sacrament. Of the 3 benefits he clearly points to the latter (sacrament) as the greatest. This is because it is possible to be married without offspring or faith, but it is not possible to be (still) married without indissolubility, which is what a sacrament points toward. Sticking it out becomes vitally important.
-In a man centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires and expectations are met. In a God centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling creator.
-There are exceptions for divorce. Marital unfaithfulness, when one spouse isn’t a believer, or when there is a danger of staying together (violence). It serves no one to become fixated on the mistakes of the past. (good for me to let go of the guilt of 2 failed marriages?)
-If married only for happiness, and happiness wanes for whatever reason, one little spark will burn the entire forest of the relationship.
-Marriage creates a climate where love is put to the greatest test. Love must be ACQUIRED. Katherine Anne Porter writes: Love must be learned and learned again and again; there is no end to it. Hate needs no instruction, but waits only to be provoked.
-Contempt is born when we fixate on our spouses weaknesses. Every spouse has these sore points. if you want to find them, without a doubt you will. if you want to obsess about them, they’ll grow, but YOU WON’T.
-Marriage virtually forces us into the intense act of reconciliation.
-Dissension is a major prayer killer. The institution of marriage is designed to force us to become reconcilers. That’s the only way we’ll survive spiritually.
-Marriage is the operation by which a woman’s vanity and a man’s egotism are extracted without anesthetic. ~Helen Rowland
-Behind every case of marital dissatisfaction lies unrepented sin. Couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance. Sin, wrong attitudes, and personal failures that are not dealt with slowly erode the relationship, assaulting and eventually erasing the once lofty promises made in the throes of an earlier (and less polluted) passion. many marriages end in divorce largely because one or both partners are running from their own revealed weakness as much as they are running from something they can’t tolerate in their spouse.
-The mature response is not to leave; it’s to change… ourselves!
-German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche suggested that marriage is a long conversation, urging us therefore to marry a friend.
-Marriage is a journey that never really ends but takes at least the span of a decade for the sense of intimacy to really display itself.
-The secret is that regardless of what others do to us, even if they betray us in the most intimate sense, God can use the occasion to draw us closer into his heart and others to him as well.
-It makes no difference if you married the ‘right’ person. you made the vows and over time they do become the right person. Create a history together that is enriching, meaningful and laden with passion.
-Because marriage, more than any other relationship, reflects Gods involvement with us and bears more potential to draw our hearts to heaven, it can more readily give us a taste of hell. ~Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III
-Beauty is often birthed in struggle. Struggle makes us stronger; it builds us up and deepens our faith. But this result is achieved only when we face the struggle head on, not when we run from it.
God doesn’t protect Christians from their problems- He helps them walk victoriously THROUGH their problems.
-A good marriage is not something you find, it’s something you work for. It takes struggle. You must crucify your selfishness. You must at times confront and at times confess. The practice of forgiveness is essential. This is undeniably hard work, but eventually pays off. It creates a relationship of beauty, trust and mutual support.
-A difficult marriage may not cause us to grow. We have to apply ourselves to understanding, love, patience and a pursuit of virtue. We can’t control how our spouse will act, but we can control how we will act and respond. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable.
-When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one. ~Helen Rowland.
-One researcher found that the average married couple actively communicates on average just 27 minutes per week, and that they exchange the most words on their 3rd date and the year before the divorce.
-The opposite of biblical love isn’t hate, its apathy.
-Sorrow can set us free if we let it. (Anne Morrow Lindbergh)
-Abe Lincolns difficult marriage prepared him for greatness.
-Struggling successfully and profitably brings about a deeper joy than even trouble free living.
-God created us in such a way that we need struggle to stay alive. Challenge is what keeps us seasoned. But to be profitable, our struggle must have purpose and it must be productive.

****************
A response received after I posted this topic:

I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your little posts and thoughts – especially the ones on religion. I have found it very difficult to find other religious people – especially ones who like to post lovely little insightful quotes and bible passages.

I really enjoyed your post today on marriage.. .I think that one of the biggest problems with society today is that we have lost one of the main reasons for marriage- the sacramental part of it. Because so many people are no longer religious, they have lost that part of their marriage… and so that when all you have left is sex and children… and many people do not want to have children.

So, what are you left with then? Sex, and when it becomes less interesting there ends up being no reason to really stay together.

Of course, I am very thankful that I do not think that way… marriage is very important to me and to my partner. 🙂

So, really, all this rambling and I just want to say thank you! 😀

From A. T. August 10, 2009

*************************************************************************

Marital Advice: (compiled and written for a friend’s wedding in 2010)

#1 Marry your best friend, and for the right reasons. If you marry in puppy love, you’ll lead a dog’s life. There WILL be a time when you think “What the heck have I done?”. That is when you learn true commitment, and that lust, convenience or ‘social obligations’ won’t necessarily last.
God, family, career — in that order! ~ Mary Kay Ash
Romance needs to be rekindled constantly. Always remember the reasons you fell in love in the first place.
Honesty, Trust, Acceptance, Compromise, Respect, Honor, BALANCE… you need them all!! Money can be fleeting and undependable, you will need the basic virtues, not money, to get you through the low times.
Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty. You marry each other, not your families. You have each other to live out your fantasies with, within reason, but that is your business LOL! 🙂
Say “I love you” at least once a day, and mean it when you say it. You both need to hear it, always. But you also need to love yourself first before expecting someone else to.
Back in the Victorian era, people courted for at least a year before marriage. There were good reasons for that. Iron out the quirks a bit first. You will have the rest of your lives together, no need to rush anything 🙂 Love is not gazing at each other, but looking outward in the same direction.
Don’t go to bed mad. If you are mad and must speak, holds hands, look each other in the eye, THEN speak. Take a time out when possible, but set a time to reconnect.
FORGIVE yourself, and your partner. Forgetting is hard to do, but at least deal with it and let it go. Blaming bitterness serve no one.
Take responsibility for YOUR OWN mistakes. Let go of guilt for anything else.
Communication!!! The most common reason for marital failure is lack of communication.
You may be married, but keep your individuality as well. Molding into each other too much only makes you take each other for granted. Opposites attract, but can also repel. Differences can be what keeps the spark alive.
Hugs and flowers fix most things. When you want to run, that is probably when she needs hugs the most. Respect each other’s space as well though. Hugs and flowers also make nice random surprises for no reason at all 🙂
You still need time with your guy friends. Keep a regular date with them as well as dates with your wife. Let her have girl time too 🙂
When kids come into the picture, try Mr Mom for a FULL day once in a while.
Everyone will want to give you advice. Take what works for YOU, keep some for later reference. TOSS THE REST! Judgmental and bitter people do not give good advice 🙁

*****************************************
I love this explanation: Cynthia Occelli — The non-religious, non-moral basis for refraining from sex outside of a monogamous relationship.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2LHIE1tn_k&list=PL4GOKssIR-GsiJ1fn-XBFDzvynw1MRUJf&index=2&t=0s

This video link was not working for a while. This is the absolute best explanation I have ever heard, so I have transcribed the video here:
Hello, I’m Cynthia Occelli and today I want to talk to you about sex and monogamy. I am a strong proponent of the confines of the monogamous relationship. I’m very opposed to casual sex and I’d like to tell you why. My reasoning has nothing to do with morals or religious judgment. It’s something much deeper and far more personal from my view than that. The first thing my first reason is and my most important reason is from a spiritual perspective. Your body is the temple of your spirit. And it’s the place where your entire outlook and experience of life is governed by the dominant tone of the energy that you have. If you’re feeling healthy, and positive and optimistic and safe in the world, you move through the world enjoying your life experience, and protecting your energy from all types of toxins, environmental, negative people, negative experiences, protecting your energy is vital for your success. So the idea of allowing someone who you don’t have mutual respect, admiration and love for inside the temple of your spirit is dangerous. It’s in that’s just that’s the best way I can put it. And the reason it’s so dangerous is because when you have the experience of orgasm, it’s not just a physical experience. It is a spiritual experience and it opens your energy centers and makes you vulnerable. And so when in that moment in those open moments you’re taking in whatever energy is sharing your energy field, and if the person you’re with happens to have a lower energy than yours is troubled or wounded or angry, or toxic, or an energy vampire, someone who just sucks on energy and drains it from you. It can deplete you in the moment and it can shift your energy far lasting and create impacts negative impacts that lasts far beyond the sexual experience. So it’s a it’s a quite a gamble to take and it is like I said quite dangerous and I don’t know why anyone would risk or jeopardize that their own energetic welfare for a temporary pleasure. Beyond that, the deck is stacked against you when it comes to casual sex, especially as a woman and that’s just speaking from a biochemical perspective. There’s a hormone that’s called oxytocin and it’s considered the cuddle hormone or the love hormone. And that’s the hormone that women that women express a lot of in their system when they have a newborn baby. And it really bonds the mother to their child. I’m sure if you’ve ever had a child, you know someone who has, you know, in those first moments, there’s a real strong bond established and that’s required for the healthy development of the child. That same oxytocin hormone is released in orgasm and what it does is it serves to bond us or develop an attachment to create trust and wanting and desire and affection for an attachment to the person that we’re having sexual relations with, even if we don’t like that person, and the effect is lasting. So even if the week later and you see that person, you’re hardwired to feel drawn to them attached to them, and desire them, even if you consciously know that that’s the wrong guy for you. So the risk there far outweigh the benefits. And that leads me to my final reason that I’m really against casual sex and I actually believe casual sex is an oxymoron. Women often will say, any other women who are usually engaged in some casual sex relationship and hoping that it’s going to turn into something more thinking that it serves them somehow, they’ll say that it’s possible to have casual sex and not be harmed. And it’s possible for someone out there to eat a dozen donuts and not gain weight. That’s true. Yes, it’s possible. It’s not probable and I don’t know why you would try it. When you have very little to gain and very much to lose, you jeopardize your spiritual welfare. You know, the deck is stacked against you biochemically. And there’s just a possibility that you might not be damaged and the outside is however many minutes of pleasure you get. There That to me is not an intelligent decision. And it’s kind of like ignoring the truth, checking your common sense at the door and making a bad decision. So I hope that you’ll listen and do some research. Explore this for yourself, and be if you want someone to treat you special if your desire is to have a man who worships you adores you and regards you as something rare and precious, and just priceless. You have to treat yourself that way.

Note: if I have particularly sent you to this page to learn about projected energies, I used the “1000 beliefs” book from Jenny Ginocchio Rosengren.
I use this booklet for finding despair anchors, broadcast messages etc. or anything that need a “phrase”, then tweak as intuitively guided.
Keep it simple! I do not get into protocols or how to’s. I just follow the energy and ask what I need to do with it. Dowse or muscle test which page, up or down then what number.1000 Positive and Negative Beliefs Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000beliefs/
1000 beliefs book website https://1000beliefs.com/

People don’t see the God in others they only see their own reflection. (The reflections are what is being shown to us to learn from and thus change ourselves for the better.)
The best ever advice I can give is to meditate on this daily and action seeing God in others … it’s all about love! It is now a one world soul what we heal in ourselves reflects in others across the world.

An excellent documentary I viewed back in 2010, The Shadow Effect, explains projected energies and the shadow self. Highly recommend watching. Full movie can be found on YouTube.

More info: https://www.theshadoweffect.com/main.php
The Shadow Effect – Documentary Film Featuring Debbie Ford
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPTKTbH6qZc

Spring Cleaning for the Soul: Reflections on March 2022

Here in the Northern Hemisphere, we are finally getting Spring weather. Time to open the windows, clear out the hibernating dust bunnies of winter and to step into the freshness of Spring with renewal and rebirth all around us. Birds chirping, flowers blooming, sunshine, and crisp blue skies are all on the horizon most days. Other days are sprinkled with refreshing sky water feeding the greenery around us and cleansing away the doldrums of our winter hibernation time.
We tend to focus on the outside environment around us, but what about our internal environment? How have we tended to our own rebirth and renewal? There is an analogy about lobsters I recently read that is quite fitting here. Lobsters can only grow as big as their environment will allow, and when their environment expands, they must shed their shell in order to grow as well.

In energy healing terms, when we clear out the emotional mind clutter, the first things we experience is a sense of feeling lighter, more expansive and freer. Shedding the shackles of our past is akin to the lobster shedding its shell so we can step into a more positive and higher vibration outlook on life. Our energy field expands in this higher vibration as well, and can influence the world around us. The theme and focus for this month is expanding our awareness of “KISS: Keeping It Simple and Sovereign”. Spring cleaning the clutter and focusing on self care.

Spring Cleaning is all about getting rid of clutter that is a distraction in our lives. We mainly focus on physical clutter, but other forms of clutter can be just as distracting and affective to our mind and body health as well. Mind Clutter. Digital Clutter. Informational Clutter. Media Clutter. Regardless of the form, it is still all energy and it is our choice to take charge of what we allow to affect our energy field.

What is clutter anyway? A definition might be “A Collection of Things Lying Around In An Untidy Mess”.
My acronym is “Constantly Living Under the Things Everyone Resents”. It is stuff. It is energy that weighs us down.

“Clutter is nothing more than postponed decisions”. Barbara Hemphill

While I would like to think of myself as a minimalist in preferring my physical environment to be filled with only practical and sentimental items, I fully admit that my entrepreneurial spirit is a hoarder of information and learning. Books, courses, digital files of charts, and articles. I can easily justify that this is a great and wonderful collection of useful “stuff”, but the problem lies in being disorganized and not implementing all this information towards my own growth and my contributions to humanity. It becomes “shelf help”, and essentially, clutter.

When it comes to physical clutter, I am not quite on board with extreme Marie Kondo philosophy, I tend to be more of a Flylady enthusiast. I am still a work in progress…

I have had many pondering thoughts with this theme of Spring Cleaning and Keeping It Simple and Sovereign. Of course, my philosophies are more in energetic terms of mind and emotional clutter.

The past two years have been a time of hardships and reckoning, a time where some people have succumbed to the pressures of the world in various ways, while others have turned inward to find their own inner healing to become thrivers, not just survivors. The current global trend of pressuring everyone to be good citizens by focusing on our neighbors and guilt riddling anyone who does not follow the masses in this regard has been detrimental to our own well being. Now, I am not saying that we should not be compassionate towards our fellow man, what I am saying is kudos to those who have finally realized that absolutely no one can pour from an empty cup. Sacrificing self for the illusion of the betterment of others is actually damaging not only to ourselves, but to humanity overall. Energetically, it is only when we heal ourselves and raise our own vibrations that we can fully affect the overall vibration of the collective consciousness.

In holistic terms, as a practitioner, I have long promoted that in order to work with others energetically, it is my responsibility to take care of myself first to be able to offer my clients the best experience in facilitating their personal growth and allowing them to take charge of their own mental and physical health through energy healing.

My focus this past month has been my own spiritual maintenance. If you have been following me for the past two years, you know full well how much my Story Athlete (SA) community has encouraged me to grow both personally and professionally. In SA, our goal is to Become our Heroic Self, to overcome the past and to create a brighter future. Within Story Athlete, we have a monthly challenge called GRIT where we commit to a daily workout and a writing prompt. I actually sat out of GRIT this past month. Now, in SA, this might be considered succumbing to the Lesser Self with excuses of “I can’t”, but SA is much more than that in promoting self accountability. I am calling this time away, my cocoon time. In GRIT, the writing prompt at the end of the month is always to reflect on our results. So, although I did not actively participate in the GRIT challenge within the SA group, I am now reflecting back on this past month and sharing my thoughts, and “results”.

My purpose in taking a month off was to be accountable to myself and to be “temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance”, to take a break and really have some quiet self reflection time. Haven’t we had enough hibernation time through the past two years? Well, yes, and no. Sure, I have had tons of time at home with not being able to take off on road trips, to go to my rock concerts, etc. due to global restrictions.

I have also been super busy with clients and being a beacon of hope to others through all these trying times. You see, my mission in life and my life purpose I discovered several years ago, is to be a source of encouragement. You may have heard me mention many times that my angel team calls me a “very good conduit” because I network people and information so well. That is definitely me!!

Now I would like to share about my self-reflection time.

In Body Code we have a term called “Broadcast Messages”. This is defined as “An energy that is continually sent out from the body to other people and can influence the ability to form and keep relationships, and can attract wrong people, etc”. This energy can be a command or a descriptive statement.
In my sessions with clients, I often call this a hidden belief that we project out to others, often unknowingly, and this is how others end up treating us.

I first learned of Broadcast Messages several years ago in working with another practitioner when she said “OMG you have a broadcast message of ‘Mistreat me’ “. We removed that statement and installed a new message of “respect me”. At that point in my life, oh boy did this make sense for me! I mean, I think I am a nice person, but why the heck did so many people “mistreat me”? Well, because I was projecting that energy! Where did it come from though?

You may know my back story of childhood sexual abuse? I have grown and learned that there were many dynamics at play in this part of my life. Abuse causes a child to have a distorted view of love, trust, relationships, just everything. Of course, the abuse is not our fault, yet we grow up with a sense of shame and unworthiness, grief of a lost childhood innocence, and guilt of wondering if we could have done anything different to have escaped this fate. These are all the natural human responses to abuse.

Energetically we know in Dr. Hawkins’ “Levels of Consciousness” charts that grief and shame are the lowest vibration emotions and this brings down our overall individual vibration. The Law of Attraction is all based on energy vibration, so if our vibration is low, we will inadvertently attract more of the same. Including abuse. Yes, I know this is a hard thing to wrap our minds around, but, like me, you may get to a point in your own inner healing to understand that this is truth!

After correcting this “Mistreat Me” projected energy, I continued on my quest of learning and growing for both my personal and professional benefit. I had taken courses; I had re-evaluated my life choices several times and made adjustments that were best for me and for those around me. I was growing my business and putting myself out there. But something still wasn’t right. I had clients sporadically. I was still in the grips of a toxic work environment. I had some people around me that were kind of wishy washy to be honest. Not any associations that were really conducive to my own personal growth. You know that thing, birds of a feather..

In any leadership courses you might take, the very first thing to learn is to surround yourself with people you want to emulate in your own life. I have come to learn that the people in our lives are there for a reason, season, or a lifetime. I had learned about these broadcast message energies, so I started to wonder what else was I projecting? I worked with other practitioners and I worked on myself a fair bit with one focus: “What am I projecting out to the world?”. Thankfully I had done much of this work myself for myself because many of the energy imbalances that came up for me were reflective of many poor experiences and upsets I had early on in life and were actually quite shocking yet completely understandable.

Many things changed in my life after that point of reflection and healing. I felt more in control and conscious of what I was “putting out there”, and this turned into many wonderful things for me. I retired from that corporate day job that had previously supported my family, but was no longer a place for me. I attracted several new clients who were on their own personal journey and just needed a boost and some direction. My ideal clientele! I also connected with some amazing new friends, many of whom are also holistic practitioners and my soul tribe. I found the Story Athlete community through a series of synchronistic connections as well. I had needed some new associations with more reliable service people after some poor experiences there. I became acquainted with several wonderful handypersons I can count on when I need those services. A plumber, a handyman, a mechanic, a hairdresser. Isn’t strangely wonderful how so many aspects of my life can change for the better through balancing my own energy and focusing on my own inner healing??

In my holistic communities, there is a common theme that has been emerging for quite a while.
The Schumann Resonance, otherwise known as the Earth’s heart beat has been steadily rising. Higher vibrations “spin” faster, so this is the explanation that makes sense of why time seems to be speeding by as well.
Mother Earth is going through a serious detox phase where lower energies will no longer survive. It is my understanding and belief that we are all here on earth at this time to heal our own selves and to heal our own ancestral trauma. This is the process and the mission to create heaven on earth. Please do not look out the window to the outside world of turmoil. Instead, turn off the news, and focus on self care. I assure you that the world will seem much more peaceful and brighter when we clean up our own inner environment first! Have some cocoon time as well so we can all emerge into Spring time with amazingly new wings and to soar to greater heights of happiness, joy, peace, and enlightenment!

After all this explanation, what does that have to do with me NOW? And what does this have to do with you?
I share these pondering reflections in hopes that you may find some encouragement to promote your own self empowerment through some ideas of what has worked so well for me.

The month of March 2022, I have considered a cocoon time for myself. Yes, I have still been working with clients, and those sessions have been absolutely amazing by the way, for both my clients and for me.
But my focus has been on ME. To be honest, I have been feeling somewhat overwhelmed and “scattered” in the last several months. I have been super aware and conscious of working on ME and how I present myself to the world around me. I have actively pulled back on my social engagement on social media and re-evaluated what I have put out there in the last years.

By the way, did you know that Facebook has an activity log section where you can find every post, comment, and engagement you have ever made across this social media platform? Great for revisiting and deleting where needed.

I like the idea of cocoon time to take a reflection break and then to shed the restrictive shells of the past and to FLY. Are you familiar with Flylady? FLY means Finally Loving Yourself.

Did I accomplish my goal of taking cocoon time? Yes. It was nice to take a break and focus just on myself and not so much of the outside world. I have re-evaluated my engagement with several people and sources and made revisions where necessary. Did I accomplish my goal of reducing clutter? Yes in many areas, but truth be told, I am still a work in progress lol.

In these reflections, I have been asking:
What am I projecting out to the world?
How am I influencing the world around me?
How have I grown?
How have my views changed over time where I have healed the past?
What new experiences and new knowledge have shaped my current views?
What stories do I need to let go of?
What are my priorities in life and in business?
How can I better serve my clients?
How can I better serve my family?
What is my return on time?
What is my return on investment?
What areas of my life do I need to re-evaluate and adjust my sails?
Do I need any course corrections?
What clutter in my life needs to go?

In asking and addressing each of these questions, I have found and released energetic imbalances. Yes some have been Broadcast Messages. I think it is essential to our own well being to create respectable boundaries where we can be compassionate and caring towards the outside world and still keep our own empowerment in check. Energy healing is the best method I know of to address self care most effectively.

What are you doing for your own Spring Cleaning, both in your inner and outer environment? How are you keeping your life Simple and Sovereign? Book in your appointment with me and allow me to show you how to spring clear your inner environment and enjoy a fresh new outlook on every aspect of life.
I will help you to clean up your inner world, so that you can more easily clean up your outer world, free up your creative energy, and manifest the life that you want.

I wrote and posted this back in 2012 after reading Wayne Dyer’s book “Change Your Thoughts Change Your Mind, a layman’s explanation of the Tao Ching. Still relevant today:

When you make peace with yourself you take a hard look at everything you have ever done and you remind yourself that you needed all those experiences in order to provide you with the energy to propel yourself to a higher spiritual frequency. Eventually you acknowledge that virtually every spiritual advance is preceded by a disaster of some kind, and that all of the unwanted events of your life were necessary. Why? Because they occurred, and there are no accidents in this intelligent system we call our universe. If you are better than you used to be that is a reason enough to make peace with yourself.
Let go of EGO, connect and maintain connection with (God, Divine, Universe… or whatever you choose to call your Higher Power), and be like the water of the Tao: adaptable, and strong… in the flow and able to face adversity in life with Grace

***********************************************************************************************

Aubrey Grace is a childhood friend, and my webmaster host. He wrote this passage in 2013. Well said!! Change is the only constant. Stagnation is the real enemy.

Aubrey Grace
September 17 2013
Living life on purpose…
We have all heard, “some people just don’t like change”. Maybe, you are someone that does not like change?
When you stop to think about your life; where you have been, where you are now and where you are heading, you will realize your entire life has been about “change”. Some changes lead you to good times and other changes, to times you never want to remember.
As long as you are living, you cannot escape change as it is everywhere and in everything. It is how our world was designed, created and continues to evolve. Nothing in this world is stagnant.
For better or worse, you live in a constant state of becoming and you have the choice, to either allow your life to grow and blossom or shrink and wither away.
Do not fear change, fear stagnation, for it is the true enemy that holds you back from living a fulfilling life.
Embrace those changes you deeply desire and live your life on purpose.
~ Aubrey
****************************************************************************************

Found in my course notes from several years ago. Good concept to revisit now.
I have the book in digital and hard copy form. Good info and fitting here:

“What is non-linear time management?
Non-linear time management is a commitment to action
in the present moment. It’s looking at a task and choosing NOW or
“not now.” If it’s not now, it’s got to be NEVER or placed in a time capsule
that has a spot on the calendar and therefore out of the mind.
The mind must remain clear and empty of all future considerations.
In non-linear time management there is no line extending from
my mind into the future. No tapeworm of unfinished business coming out of my body.
Non-linear time management is best expressed by Elvis Presley when he sings, “It’s now or never, come hold me tight.”
The old fashioned time management programs had a huge, burdensome focus on the future. The line of tasks stretched out forever into the future. It was fear-based and it was overwhelming to have so much of a future to carry around with you.
It resulted in massive, pathological procrastination. Everything got put off in the name of perfectionism. Nothing was bold or reckless anymore. Therefore there wasn’t much astonishing success happening for the world-weary practitioner.
But when I teach people to go non-linear, a strange thing happens. New life and energy come in. When they open their emails they don’t get to save them for later. They have to deal with them if they open them. Like little attackers in a computer game, there is no longer anywhere to hide. Life becomes a great game and everything is handled right now on the spot.
All fear comes from picturing the future. Putting things off increases that fear.
Soon we are nothing but heavy minds weighing down on weary brains. Too much future will do that.
Only a warrior’s approach will solve this.
A warrior takes his sword to the future. A warrior also takes his sword to all circumstances that don’t allow him to fully focus.
I am a coach by profession, and when I work with a client who is “overwhelmed” with too much to do and not enough time to do it I will often ask them to give me an example of one of the things they are burdened by every time they think about it. The client will give me an example and we will do that thing right now. The client is amazed. The only thing missing in this client’s life was a bias for action.
Most people think too much. Then they compound that problem by studying the feelings that come up for them as a result of that thinking.
All this time that they spend thinking and feeling they could have been taking action. In a non-linear way.
Linear time starts with your birth and ends (at the end of the line) with your death. Along that long linear line it’s just one damn thing after another. Then the lights go out. What was the point?
Non-linear time management stops all that weary nonsensical treading on the road to one’s destiny.
Rather than inching along horizontally you must simply rise up. Your life can now become vertical. Now you don’t postpone challenges, you rise to them. You become a warrior. And it works.
How, exactly, does it work? This book will show you exactly how it works”.
Steve Chandler
Phoenix, Arizona, January 2011

This is definitely a look into the not so bright, but oh so entertaining, side of Jackie. I saw a video on social media promoting the effects of a garlic cleanse. I decided to try it and to post my adventure over 3 days of posts. I had no idea of the reactions coming. Sharing here now for all to enjoy. Thank you to all my friends for all the funny reactions to my plight.

Enjoy. But please either do not try this, or at least try at your own risk. By the way, I have not done this again since this episode.
(Who am I kidding. I love garlic, and I still overdo it years later….). 

This is the video I shared: Eating 6 roasted garlic cloves, will heal your body just in 24 hours https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1giqOl1HkkA

October 31 2020
I doubt I’m gonna have any goblins coming around my house tonight. I decided to try this. Omg my house… My eyes are watering like crazy lol. Sage the house? Nope.. Let’s just roast garlic and stink up the whole freaking neighborhood.

Jackie N. Rioux: holy molitas… if there was any bad bugs in my body before now, I am pretty sure they have been decimated with garlic now. The inside of my ears are feeling pretty warm lol. Good thing I am alll by myself today

Comments:

Sherry: Jackie, how much did you eat???? Lol

Jackie N. Rioux: I baked 7 and ate 3 at once.

Kirsta: Jackie – roast them with black olives and eat them together. It’s wonderful.

Jackie N. Rioux: Oooohhhh yum

Doina: you only ate 7 cloves though not 7 heads of garlic?

Jackie N. Rioux: I baked 7 bulbs, ate 3 bulbs

Doina: it didnt sound like you were supposed to eat 3 whole bulbs Jackie , cloves and bulbs arent same thing

Jackie N. Rioux: Doina lol… How long have you known me? Do I ever follow rules properly? Somebody home but the lights aren’t always on here lol

Doina: I hope you’re feeling ok now sometimes less really is more.

Amanda: Jackie N. Rioux indeed! Like, if less is more, then imagine how much more more will be! (Can’t take credit for that line…heard it on tv or Read it somewhere)

Jackie N. Rioux: I’m actually feeling really good.

Cathy: There otta be a law that everyone eats garlic at the same time

Jackie N. Rioux: Meh… good way to social distance .. way more than 6 feet lol

Paula: what time of day did you eat the garlic? Was it on an empty stomach ?

Jackie N. Rioux: Paula, Not totally empty.. had a salad first and 1st time was after lunch, second time dinner time

November 1 2020
Update on Garlic (instant) detox. Warning this is not a dignified lady kind of post.

Yesterday I posted a video about eating roasted garlic and all the benefits gained within 24 hours. The video suggested eating 6 roasted CLOVES. I roasted 7 whole garlic BULBS. My house aroma soon became the best deterrent for any night crawler vampires.

Roasted garlic loses the strong pungent taste of raw and develops a soft nutty taste, yet retains its beneficial health properties. I managed to eat 3 full bulbs of roasted garlic before my eyes started watering like crazy and the insides of my ears were burning a bit. Pretty sure I was giving off steam actually. My tummy took a vacation without me to the equator. Internal combustion central. Complete with a sporadic and intermittent breeze that would rival the local pulp mill on clear days.

Nothing really eventful all day, until bedtime. I didn’t actually sleep much til some odd time in the morning. I tossed and turned with the covers on and off for hours. The room was cool but my tummy was still really warm. Thankfully not in an uncomfortable way though.

I don’t know if I developed some sort of animal instinct because all three cats were glued to me most of the night as well. I am pretty sure no human would love me right now.

I feel pretty good this morning. Tummy feels considerably deflated. Last time I weighed myself was last Wednesday. I gotta say I am impressed that I am down 8 lbs since then. Not sure if that was all effects from last night because I had no idea that air weighed so much.

I have the rest of the baked garlic from yesterday to consume today. Garlic was on sale so I bought a whole bunch. I am not sure how often I am going to try this again, but seems to be somewhat effective. I am certainly doing my part on the social distancing, that is for sure. It is a good thing I am all by myself and my kitties love me.

That is my update. Try this method at your own risk lol.

Comments:

Janet: Keep us posted!

Vicki: Tears are running down my cheeks! Haha!

Elaine: Seriously, is this for real???!!!

Jackie N. Rioux: Elaine, yup.. you were warned lol.

Sonya: LOL!!! Jackie…you are just the best story teller.

Amy: I bought a huge bag of garlic… some to roast and some to plant… I plan on putting the roasted garlic in a glass bottle with EVOO… and then keeping it in the fridge for salads, etc… I think I’ll pass on the eating whole cloves thing until someday when Rusty will be gone several day… lol. You made my day!!! Ha ha ha Cats are so forgiving!!! Lol lol lol

Lee: LOVE this

Amanda: Wow. You are brave. I cannot stand garlic!!

Nataša: You should do stand up comedy Jackie!

Denise: Spice Girl! Ha!

Cindy: Well this is very well written. Stay healthy

Valerie: I feel so invested in your story now I need to know how it plays out.

Jackie N. Rioux: So far so good… Feeling pretty good. Got the next round warmed up but having a salad first and bracing for the next round

Christine: I have always wanted to try this but have not in fear of what it may do

Jackie N. Rioux: Well… It is kinda like burning your insides out from stem to stern, fumigation style. Its not that uncomfortable. You might wanna do it with hubby, or have him gone a few days before you try it though lol

Jackie N. Rioux: I actually feel really good today, surprisingly lol

Christine: Jackie N. Rioux I can imagine it really cleans u out

Lena: I love garlic and so does my hubby. BUT we both work with clients daily. Maybe next Friday night.

Kirsta: I feel this needs to be celebrated. Love this post.

Maxine: lol!! You go Girl!!

Jackie N. Rioux: Maxine, So is anything wafting across the road?? lol

Maxine: lol!! Not yet!!

Jackie N. Rioux: UPDATE: 6 pm. the other 4 BULBS of roasted garlic have now been consumed. Now we wait…. My cats seem to be rolling their eyes at me with disturbed looks of anticipation… I seem to have shed another 2 lbs. That wasn’t air. I just would like to Thank God right now that all my dear clients this week are online…At least I am good for entertainment….

Comments:

Amanda: Jackie, is there a world record for the amount of garlic consumed in a certain period of time??? You are probably in the running!!

Jackie N. Rioux: I dunno. You’d think there is a record where someone got sick or died so they have a “limit” of sorts. I’m feeling pretty good actually.

Amanda: Jackie N. Rioux I googled and did not find any death by garlic cases. But I did find an article that said you should not leave chopped garlic lying around because it can grow botulism. ( Ew!)

Jackie N. Rioux: Amanda,makes sense. Onions are good detoxifiers when you leave cut ones around the house. Toss in the morning.

Amanda: Jackie N. Rioux yuck! I hate onions. I am starting my own detox tomorrow: 7 day water fast. (Well, ok, cheating and allowing coffee too. Apparently it isn’t a true fast if you allow coffee but no Way I’m going without food OR coffee .)

Jackie N. Rioux: I’ve known a few people that have done a water fast. I’m hesitant I’d starve. Let me know how it goes for you.

Amanda: I have done them before. Longest is 20 days. That time I got a little sick and had to get an iv of potassium and some other thing, but it was no big deal. I do get really hungry, but the thing is I am ALWAYS hungry. I can eat a full day’s worth of food and then 9:30pm sets in and it literally Feels like I have not eaten all day. So fasting doesn’t feel that much different than usual. I think the biggest benefits for me are my skin, mental clarity, and weight loss.

Tammy: I LOVE garlic but it does not love me. If I ate that much garlic I would for sure feel dehydrated and headachey for days. And I hold the smell for DAYS – it emanates out of my pores.

Jackie N. Rioux: Well if I go out in my back yard, I could be an “air freshener” for the neighborhood as you are just over my back fence LOL

Tammy : true

Lorena: Jackie N. Rioux LOL. I need to move there! You guys are having way too much fun…where I am…just 2 grumpy adult boys around.

Dianne: Oh my Jackie. One can have too much of a good thing; even too much water can be detrimental to optimal health as it depletes the balance of sodium in the body and predisposes one to potential seizure activity as a result. Too much garlic can imbalance the brain so would be good to test how much and how often would be best for you. Love the story and the way you’ve worded it though hehee.

Jackie N. Rioux:  I’m a redhead… I am quite well known to overdo things when it comes to me lol. And pretty sure my brain was imbalanced a lonnng time ago

Janet: Great writing. Great descriptions Jackie. Very entertaining, if not educational. ha ha

Jackie N. Rioux: An example of what not to do lol… At least I am good for entertainment lol

Lorena: You ought to be an author LOL. Love your stories

Jackie N. Rioux: Lorena, I did publish “my story” a few years ago. And there’s a few stories in my website. I keep saying a book is coming of my adventures with road trips and raising kids

Lorena: What is it called. I bet it would be an awesome read

Jackie N. Rioux:  http://ladybugwellness.ca/heal-thy-self-book/ Heal Thy Self Book – Ladybug Wellness

Julie: I enjoyed reading this so much! The idea, the action, the tension, the result…….amazing

Marsha: Oh my dear that was wonderfully written, I definitely will not be trying this at this level. LOL.

Jackie N. Rioux: But I feel pretty good…

Jackie N. Rioux: Since you all enjoyed reading this… I’ll mention one more humorous thing that happened the second night…Ebony felt the need to console me all night by snuggling and cuddling… but… Midnight felt the need to “attack” and pounce on the source of the all night trumpeting… Ya… that was fun.

Janet: Thoroughly enjoyable, and fun to hear your story Jackie, but would you recommend it?

Jackie N. Rioux: Well, if you like garlic, sure. It is certainly a whole lot better than a bottle of magnesium citrate.. cuz trust me, that method is NOT fun. Other than fumigating my insides from stem to stern, the garlic method ain’t that bad at all. And I do feel really good now. Weight hasn’t changed a whole lot, but skin seems softer. Head feels clear. and roasted garlic is a good appetizer. I just overdosed on purpose lol

Janet: Ok! I bought 8 heads of garlic yesterday. Might wait for my roommate to leave for a few days….thanks to your meticulous description!

November 11 2020: Let’s try this again… 4 whole bulbs of roasted garlic mixed into a salad. I wonder what kind of effects we’ll have this time. My cats sure love me… Down one gullet, past one lung, hello tummy, here I come

Comments:

Pamela: Sounds like my kind of salad.

Annette: stinky skunk lol

Peter: Still…..???

Jackie N. Rioux: What? I don’t mind garlic actually.. felt pretty good last time. Might as well do it again. I realized I bought 3 bags x 20 bulbs. Wanna come visit??????

Lee: Eagerly awaiting the next installment…

Jackie N. Rioux: Lee, I had no idea my garlic adventures would be so popular lol. I am never gonna live this down. I got on FCOA class the other day and 3 people asked me about garlic LMAO!!!!!!!

Kirsta: Look into garlic honey

Amanda: Better you than me, that’s all I can say!

Jackie N. Rioux: Seems to have worked. Not quite as entertaining with subsequent tries lol. Great way to fumigate your insides from one end to the other lol

May 3 2021: FYI for all those who were so entertained with my garlic cleanse adventure a few months ago… I wasn’t about to try that again and I still had two big bags of garlic sitting in the fridge that started to sprout. I posted the garlic on Freecycle thinking someone else can have some fun and maybe plant them.
Sure enough a lady picked up and was quite happy to add them to her gardening. She said she has received items from me in the past on Freecycle so she wanted to gift me something in return… a few jars of her home canning pickles! The pickled beets and carrots disappeared quickly.
The pickled garlic I opened this morning. Tasty and goes down easy, but boy oh boy my tummy is gurgling something fierce. Let’s see where this experience goes….
Comments:
Janet: Here we go again….keep us posted!
Rhonda: I adore your antics
Jackie N. Rioux: Rhonda, Ya I know.. I am good for entertainment at least
Rhonda: Jackie N. Rioux: Endorphins are essential!!
Jackie N. Rioux: Rhonda, Laughter is the best medicine. Just doing my part to add some laughs at my own expense
Barbara: Not laughing at you! You should get a good clean out. There is sulfur in garlic.
Jackie N. Rioux: Barbara, I leave that to literary implications, but yes you are right lol… Feeling pretty de-fumigated again this afternoon
Barbara: Hugs❤
Ken: I think I know where it’s going.
Lee: Love your posts Jackie N. Rioux
Vicki: BTW garlic shouldn’t be stored in the fridge. You can also plant them to grow them

February 12 2022
Day of GRIT: #9 of 28
CONTEXT: “I Break Free From Old Patterns… “
I could go on and on about how I have broken past dysfunctional patterns in my life and that my life has changed for the better in so many ways. But no, today I proved yet again that I miss some lessons in life and keep repeating them.
Today’s lesson was regarding my nemesis garlic. Most of my friends remember my experience with baked garlic back in October 2020. What I learned then is that baked garlic does take the pungentness down quite a bit so you can eat way more and get much more of the cleansing effects. I had overdone it then and paid the price of fumigating myself inside out.
A few months later, I had someone gift me a jar of canned pickled garlic. Oh my gosh that stuff was yummy. But again, it does cleanse your insides like a scrub brush. I am sucker for punishment apparently.
Last week, my daughter was cleaning out the fridge and found we had quite a stash of garlic bulbs in there. She baked a few for herself, but I didn’t indulge this time. However, I did suggest putting some garlic cloves in a jar with pickle juice, since I loved the pickled garlic previously.
Today my daughter and I went on a blitzing rampage through our home, cleaning the nooks and crannies and clearing out any fornicating dust bunnies in the corners. Our day was going well. We had pulled out the fridge and stove to clean behind there. That’s where all the cat toys were hiding!
Next we moved on to cleaning inside the fridge. There was the pickled garlic! I was sure it had been marinating long enough over several days so I pulled out a huge clove and munched it down quickly. Yum! Down one gullet, past one lung, hello tummy, here I come!
Within mere seconds I felt that hauntingly familiar burning sensation in my ear canals. OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!! Make it stop!!
Too late. That garlic clove was now sitting in my belly and the fumes were radiating all the way back up to my nostrils. My eyes were watering too. I had burned a passage from my mouth to my belly. A point of no return… I started swearing a blue streak and trying to breathe through it. I actually sent a message to my other kids to start preparing my eulogy.
My gosh I was feeling warm from the inside out. Melissa looked up home remedies to lessen the burning sensation and offered a banana. I settled to chug a glass of milk. It took probably half an hour before I was ready to tackle the house again. Melissa says I still reek like garlic. Good think skunks aren’t bothered by their own scent?
I have learned that canned pickled garlic must lose some of the sting of the fresh cloves. Have I broken free of old patterns? With lots of other things in my life, yeah. But not garlic. There is a full jar of fresh pickled garlic in the fridge, with my name on it, still waiting to plan my demise at any time. I have always told my kids I want to go out with a bang so please cremate me with some popcorn or firecrackers. I am not fond of this idea of burning myself from the inside out though.
I guess the bonus here is that Valentine’s day is in a couple days and I won’t be attracting any vampires.

Jackie N. Rioux
February 16 2023
Sucker for punishment here…
The other night I did a bunch of energy balancing on myself before sleep. Had errands including groceries in the morning.
Got a burst of motivation, tore apart fridge and scrubbed it out before putting groceries away.
Found a bulb of garlic in clean out. Yup you know where this is going…
Yesterday I made up some bone broth and veggies and tossed in the bulb of garlic.
F*cking hell… yup I ate it all thru the day.
My insides are sure warm. Its almost 3 am and I’m still awake. .
Why do I do this to myself?
Our cat Midnight is awful cuddly….
Prayers appreciated…
I definitely have a Love/ Hate relationship with garlic…

Sherry: Send me some of your energy lol.
Jackie N. Rioux: I pulled out the “raising our levels” FCOA class. I redid it last night intending for my Sunday group. 😁😁😁

Ingrid: I hear you I was up at 3 am doing laundry. But did nap from 5 to 7.

Cathy: Brave Midnight, cuddling with the garlic factory!
Jackie N. Rioux: good thing cuz no one else loves me lol
Cathy: there otta be a law that everyone eats garlic at the same time.
Jackie N. Rioux: I’m alone and neighbors far away… all good … I think.

Day of GRIT: # 19 of 28

METRIC: Wednesday Palooza F2

FINISHER: F4

CONTEXT: “No Subject is Off-Limits…”

The horse story, and my own naivety…

Having had some early life experiences before my same age friends, I was usually the one they turned to for a shoulder when they went through similar life upsets. Many times I was told I should be a counsellor. Nope. NOT my thing. I did not want to be a professional in that field. Personally, talk therapy never worked well for me anyway. I love my life now working with energy balancing, and just eradicating the root cause of issues, disconnecting the emotional charge of upsets without having to relive the ordeals.

Although I am not a counselor, I have always had a fascination with science, psychology, and human behavior. In working with clients, I still need to be open to any subject, and many of those topics can be past traumas and quite serious upsets, IF they choose to share some of those details with me.

On the other hand, through my own past traumas, I have developed quite a twisted sense of humor.

I am smart, because I have been ignorant. I am wise, because I have been stupid. Lack of knowledge is not necessarily ignorance.  And not many subjects are off limits with me. Go ahead. Ask me anything. Just be forewarned that you may not like or appreciate my answer.

Since we’re opening that can of worms, let me explain the horse story, and how naive I was at one time.

To start off, I am from a family of four girls. My birds and the bees talk was an exasperated explanation after my babysitter mentioned “period”, then told me to ask mom.  (Sorry Mom lol).

Let’s go back to about 10 years old. There was a horse living across the street from our house. I used to go over and hang on the fence and I learned how to hold my hand straight out to feed this horse. Well, one day, the horse didn’t come trotting over like he normally did. He stood in the middle of the pen and shifted his back legs. Then, as this soon to be absolutely mortified 10 year old child watched… a third leg descended to the ground and left a large puddle. Then this leg retracted, and the horse happily came over for some treats. 😕

Fast forward a few years to age 16. I knew a few of the birds and the bees topics by then, but still took a dare to “play with it” when I went camping with a girlfriend and a certain boy tagged along. Well, two weeks later, I got pregnant. Oops.

Next, I had to go to the doctor. I was awfully shy. He asked me how old I was, if I had a boyfriend, and if I thought I was pregnant. I sheepishly nodded to his questions. Then he explained the procedure to do this pregnancy check. WHAT???????? YIKES!!  The doctor told me “Well, it went in that way, how do you think it’s coming out?”. (Oh dear God shoot me now…). Yes, I seem to learn some lessons the hard way.

Being the good little Christian sheltered girl that I was, we did the “right thing” and got married when our daughter was 13 months old.

Men have this extra appendage that is a creature with a mind of its own. Now I got to live with this thing. (I do have to credit this husband with putting up with my naivety back then).

This appendage was not always in the upright position that I had previously known. I soon learned that “morning wood” was not necessarily for me. That means it needs to go water the plants.

I distinctly remember one time following my husband into the bathroom to watch this operation. He did his business, gave it a shake, and tucked it away. I was curious and blurted out… “Doesn’t it go back up inside you??” He almost yelled at me “WTF is wrong with you?”. I told him I was just confused, because that is what happened with the horse. Oops. So much for the stallion idea. Sheesh.

Now, if this was not naive enough, there’s more.

Fast forward a few more years. We had now been married five years, and had four kids. You’d think I knew some things by then. Apparently not.

We lived in a little shack across from his mother, with only wood heat. He had gone out fishing, and had a mishap where he ended up waist deep in water. He had come home soaked and freezing cold. The kids had gone over to grandma’s house. I was stoking the wood fire and parked myself in front of the fireplace on a low stool.

My husband stripped down to nothing and stood in front of the fireplace to warm himself. My eye level noticed something “not there”, and I screamed. Again, he yelled at me, “WTF is wrong with you???”.

Well….. where did it go? Apparently there is something called “shrinkage factor” that creates a turtle scene when that appendage gets cold. Oops. I had no idea. 😕

No, I am not that naive anymore. But this is kinda how the twisted humor developed. In party days with my sister, I was usually the DD. Since I hardly ever drank much, I was the one with the jokes.

One of our faves was:

Do you know how to make babies? You eat watermelon seeds.

Do you know how to not make babies? You spit, don’t swallow.

Know what else? If you hold it just right, you can make ’em shoot real far.

This story is also why my adult kids have grown up with a no holds barred kind of humor and I don’t know if I should be proud or scared.

*********

These are my daily writings from GRIT: Balancing Mind, Body, Business and Relationships.  If you have enjoyed this story, you are welcome to share in its entirety and tag me so I can thank you. Please ask me how you can join the StoryAthlete community as well.

November 5 2019: As some of you might remember, I transferred to Caledonia in April 1984 from the Alliance private school. (Because, you know, it’s not proper to be a teen mom in a one room, all grades, Christian private school. Oops). That is when we found out that all the grade 11 and 12 work I had done in private school was not recognized by the BC Ministry of Education curriculum. Caledonia was nice enough to let me catch up a few courses before I had my daughter in June 1984. I went through the next full year at Cal, but was short credits so I was not allowed to graduate with “my” Grad 85 class. I had a few more courses to catch up. I got married over the summer, and went back for one semester. I remember I dropped an Algebra 12 class that I could not wrap my head around, but still took 2 courses. Although still short one credit, they let me cross the stage for Grad 86. I was 6 months pregnant coming down the stairs of the REM Lee, with my second daughter Melissa. Then, with 2 small kids and married life, it took me 2 years to complete a Business Communications course via correspondence. Caledonia sent me my “graduated” transcript in October 1988. I got a job at the post office in 1990. Grade 12 is a requirement which I proudly checked off. Fast forward. I moved to Prince George in 2001, transferred with post office. In 2008, I decided to go back to school taking psychology courses to earn an Associate of Arts Degree. In 2009, as part of my courses and interests, I took a biology 12 course by correspondence but dropped it to take at a later date. A few months later, I received a letter from the Ministry of Education with a transcript showing I had dropped the Biology course, but there was also a note “this student has not met the requirements of a Grade 12 education”. I was short 2 credits. WHAT???? Had I been working at the post office as a fraudulent grade 12 graduate all these years? After some frantic phone calls to Caledonia and to the Ministry of Education, plus to the career counselor at CNC, we finally figured out the issue. Caledonia had given me an “in house” transcript, but the Business Communications course had not been submitted to the Ministry of Education. I had dropped the Algebra 12 course and this apparently was not properly recorded either, so technically I was still short one credit. Thankfully, since I had been taking university transfer courses at CNC, they were able to use a credit towards graduation. So my official high school graduation date was in 2009, and my Associate of Arts  graduation was 2018.

Another amusing note here, my daughter Melissa decided to move back to Terrace for her grad 12 year to graduate with her friends. It was quite surreal seeing her come down the steps at the REM Lee in 2004, and it dawned on me that my daughter had graduated “twice”. That has become a family funny for us, and she now has  a Bachelor’s in History Degree as well.

This page is a glimpse into my personal life that I hope will serve as a warning to others who are so involved with the Internet. We have all heard of people these days who have found their mates through an internet romance. Even I know of a few people who have had wonderful success with these kinds of relationships. Not all of these love stories are wonderful though… and mine is one of them.

***Update 2017: I have since found my purpose and life path in being an energy practitioner in several modalities. I am happy to report that this experience is now a closed chapter, and just life lessons learned that can assist me in empowering others to find their purpose and to avoid the “mistakes” I have gone through. Read on for the details…with more updates below. ***  

I had been alone for a number of years after my first divorce. Attempts at dating had not been successful. I had joked with my friends a few times that it would be nice to have a boyfriend for Christmas. Well, that wish came true Christmas 2001. I had decided not to make the six hour drive to my home town to spend Christmas with family. My children had gone with their father out of town for the holidays. (I usually have our Christmas a few days early to accommodate this.) So, on December 25, 2001, I was home alone on the computer chatting on MSN with my sister six hours away. I have never been one for random chat lines, but my sister liked these types of chat lines sometimes. She was chatting with someone and introduced ‘Shaughnessy’ to me. I chatted with this guy for a while and soon found that we got along quite well. So, well in fact that I gave him my phone number after a few hours, despite being wary. He called me the next day and we also got along quite well on the phone. He had a wonderful phone voice, too 🙂 I was feeling quite cautious of this new found friend, but he seemed like everything I was looking for in a guy, and he seemed to accept everything about me. About three days after we met online, Shaughnessy wrote a long email to me expressing his aspirations in life, peppered with some humor throughout, and in a sense asking me to accept him. This email completely floored me. This guy was 12 years my junior. (he was 22). I do not have a problem with an age difference especially when some younger guys can be very mature. My sister was also just as shocked as me. He sent sweet emails regularly, sent songs to listen to, and was quite romantic. Well, this was the way things started.

Within just a few weeks were talking every day either through MSN chat or on the phone. Shaughnessy talked about coming to visit me to meet in person. He lived 4500 miles away in another country. We started making plans for this meeting. Our phone calls, I am sure, boosted stock markets for the telephone company. We would be on the phone for hours while going about our home activities. We got along so well. He was a kitchen manager in his home town, and also raced cars. He told me the details over a few days of a small local race he was going to be in, along with details of the after party, etc. He had won the race. He sent me a few pictures of the sports car he owned (apparently similar to the race car), along with some pictures of himself taken with a digital camera. The pictures weren’t all that great, but they gave me an idea of all that he talked about. He also told me detailed stories of his work as a volunteer firefighter.

In the beginning of February 2002, Shaughnessy had a disagreement with his father and decided that he wanted a drastic change in his life. He asked me if he could just move here. He said he loved me and wanted to be with me forever… kids and all. He said he would ask me to marry him properly on bended knee when he got here. We talked about an impromptu wedding. I just wanted something simple but nice. We started to make definite plans for his move here, and on April 5, 2002 he arrived here by bus – a week long trip!

I was working two jobs and because of some scheduling difficulties, he was late getting in, and I was late for work. Our first impressions of each other weren’t that great, but by the next day I realized that this was the guy I had fallen for over the internet and phone lines. He tried so hard to make good impressions with my friends, my children, and with me. He cooked meals, cleaned house while I was at work, gave me massages, ran bubble baths for me, let me rest when I needed it, and got along well with the kids. I felt like I was in a dream world…. this guy seemed so wonderful and treated us all so well. He wanted to pull his own weight, he said, because he would have to wait for immigration papers before he could get a job and work. Shaughnessy did propose on bended knee the evening of April 30, 2002.  I said yes, and threw together our impromptu wedding. We assumed getting married quickly would also speed along permits for him. Everything fell into place wonderfully. There were so many little coincidences throughout this time that made me feel like this was all just meant to be. We had a small informal wedding on May 11, 2002. My family came, along with a few friends. Because we had such a quick wedding, his family didn’t come, nor did his friends. It was just too far to come on such short notice. The ceremony was beautiful though, and the first few months following the wedding were wonderful also. 

When an immigrant comes into the country, they have six months to visit before they have to leave or do something with their paperwork in order to stay longer. We looked into this paperwork, and had an official meeting with immigration. They weren’t too happy that we had got married so quick and insisted on seeing our wedding pictures, and knowing the details of our meeting etc, to make sure this wasn’t just a marriage of convenience. My new husband had told me that he had a conviction in the U.S.A. This according to him, was for an assault charge on his ex-wife. His story was that they had a fight, she stabbed him in the arm and out of reaction he back handed her. According to the laws in that state, he was charged for assault and not her. This always seemed fishy to me… but who was I to judge?? This conviction was the main reason that immigration told me that he should not have been able to enter Canada in the first place. They figure that he got through because he had been on a full bus and the border may have been busy. Immigration never did tell me the details that they had on file, other than to confirm the assault charge. So all along I believed what my husband said to be true. I had no other way to confirm his story. They allowed a work permit, but my husband would have to be on temporary visitor’s permits until his probation ended.

About four months after we got married, we had a disagreement one evening, and I brought up a few things that over time had seemed confusing to me. He finally admitted that his whole story about the race he won when we first started chatting was all a lie… a story just to impress me. He didn’t seem to understand that this not only didn’t impress me now, it shattered my trust in other things he had told me which seemed fishy. He still always seemed to have logical answers for my questions though. His firefighter stories and the conviction story remained the same.

Financially, I completely supported my new husband for the first year being together. He finally got a job as a cook in a local hotel. We still seemed to be getting along, but there were some difficulties, and I was realizing how much he drained me. I was so glad to get him out of the house for a while each day. Within a few months after we had got married, he started to complain bitterly about all he HAD to do around the house and how no one else pulled their weight. I didn’t think things were that bad. I was working two jobs, the kids were in school, and in activities as they always had been, and we were doing our best under the circumstances. My husband complained that we didn’t get enough time together. If I called a friend, he would come into the room and sit with me. He would insist on being in the same room with me anywhere I went, or else he would be on the computer playing his online games constantly. He started to ground the kids for silly things and take away computer privileges so he could have more time on the computer and often skipped dinner with the family. He seemed to have a fantasy world online with those friends and an online journal to rant and rave on.

When I took the kids to their activities, or ran errands, he started to quiz me on where I was, and mentally keep track of the mileage and gas usage. I was embarrassed to take him out around my friends now, he always had to tell stories to anyone who would listen. Often he would bring up personal details. He would tell everyone about our internet meeting. That was fine, but over time the stories changed…. more and more he made it sound like I had chased him and snagged him. In the end his stories changed to reflect that I had used him. He exaggerated so many things that I felt uncomfortable. I felt like I had no privacy left, except when he went to work. He got his own bank account for his paychecks, but since he had his name on my account, he would start spending my paychecks before I even got home from work. We worked opposite shifts, and he would come home late and tell me about work and all the girls he flirted with. We tried going to marriage counseling, and things seemed to subside for a while. Slowly though, the awful feeling in my guts grew and grew until I was so frustrated I couldn’t take it anymore! I had withdrawn from my friends, became depressed, and even gained weight. He teased me and the kids relentlessly beyond the scope of just playfulness. Although he bragged openly about his ‘model’ wife, in private he degraded me for my weight gain and my involvement with modeling. I went to marriage counseling alone. Now I could talk freely. I soon realized that there were many things Shaughnessy had told me that now – clearly – seemed to be exaggerated stories. I made up my mind that this was going to end. I broke up with him March 4, 2004. He hadn’t worked much since Christmas so he didn’t have much money of his own. He asked if he could just stay until the end of the month to organize his affairs. Over spring break (thankfully) the younger kids had gone with their father. Melissa (older daughter) was home on March 19 when Shaughnessy and I had a blow out argument after going to the marriage counselor together to officially end things. Melissa and I went for a drive and she went with her friends. When I got home, Shaughnessy and I continued our argument which didn’t help matters. He accused me of having an affair, and told me that my friends had told him I was crazy and he shouldn’t have married me. He tried to convince me that all my friends had turned on me. He finally went for a nap, and after Melissa came home he woke up. He looked awful and I asked him if he was alright. I had no clue things were so wrong! (I found out later that while Melissa and I had been gone earlier, he had overdosed on 4 bottles of prescription pills.) He had a seizure in front of me – I had never seen someone have a seizure. I have never been so scared in all my life. I screamed so much, and was so upset that Melissa had to call 911. The doctors told me not to let him come home again with me, and that this wasn’t my fault. I had to call his parents, with whom I had only talked to a couple times over the time I had been married. I had only talked to his mother once, mainly because I had always heard bad things about her. When I told her that her son was in the hospital from attempted suicide, she didn’t seem surprised. She told me this was not the first time he had tried this, that he was a pathological liar, and that they had had problems with him for a long time. The stories about volunteer firefighting, his conviction, and his mother, according to her, were exaggerated truths. He had only worked for the fire department for a month after high school. 

Shortly after this episode, out of curiosity, I called his ex-wife, Christie. She was another person I had never spoke with, because I had always heard she was a drug addict who didn’t take good care of their son. I did know my husband had a son, but he always told me such awful things about his ex-wife…  example: she was vindictive and wouldn’t let him see his son unless she could have Shaughnessy back. Well, I talked for about an hour with this “drug addict”. Christie sounded to me like a wonderful (and I do assume drug-free!) mother. There was a whole other side to the story of how Shaughnessy made no attempts to be a father, that he had free loaded off her family and abused her as well. His stories of his previous crew foreman work and car racing were exaggerated. The conviction was for assault, but she hadn’t stabbed him. (I had suspected this because he didn’t have any obvious scars.) Together we assumed that he possibly came to Canada to escape paying child support to her. With this new information I confronted Shaughnessy. He finally admitted the truth about the conviction, but still tried to convince me that his other stories were true.

Some friends took him in after he got out of the hospital, but he had to leave Canada within a few months when his papers ran out. I filed for divorce.  I figured out that while he had been with me, he had installed spy ware on the computer and read my emails, etc. He went through all of my personal belongings and stole some things, too. I have also since found out that he made my daughters uncomfortable (in recent months before the split) with some inappropriate things he said. After he moved out, I avoided his phone calls and blocked him on MSN chat. He kept sending emails, so I blocked those too. He posed as someone else on MSN chat just to talk to me, but I figured that out fairly quickly. 

My whole experience, although it started out wonderfully and I have some very nice memories, turned into my internet nightmare. Now that I am away from him, each one of my friends have admitted that they sensed something wrong about my husband from the beginning. Because he is such a good story teller, and because I seemed so happy at first, no one could really say why they thought there was something so wrong. I am much more wary of the internet than I ever was. It is just too easy for someone to deceive and disguise themselves. The guy I fell for on the internet was so fun loving, mature, respectful and interesting. The person who lived with me was an insecure, immature, conniving person with a knack for computers. As far as I know, he may be back to his ‘old self’ on the internet until some other person falls for his lies. This whole experience has been hard for me because previous relationships I have had have not ended quite so badly. I am certainly not perfect, I do have my faults also, but this is one experience I would rather erase from my memory.

“At least I got myself out of a bad situation.
It was a mixed marriage: I’m human.
He’s a Klingon.” ~Carol Leifer

“Online” ~ Brad Paisley (I’m not usually one for country music, but the lyrics to this song are hilariously fitting).

I’ve become so Numb, I can’t feel you there ~ Linkin Park
Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. ~Metallica

Written by myself after this experience.  Divorce Poem

Update January 2006: I have had so many responses to people reading this story in my site. The most common response has been a thank you for the warning, and also sympathy for what I have been through. I didn’t write this for sympathy. This is life and it was a learning experience. One that I share here in hopes that it might save someone else from making such a stupid mistake in judgment as I have. I do have some good memories though, after all he was very romantic.
I have often been asked advice on avoiding stalkers, etc. , and these sort of liars. I am only human, and I made a mistake in judgment. In September 2005, long after I had deleted any links associated with my ex-husband, he managed to add himself to my MSN list and tried to contact me. He also sent emails to my kids. We blocked him and are hoping that will be last of any contact with him, although I was not able to delete his links until just recently — he must have FINALLY taken me off his list. By this contact, I know he still has his online blog and a new girlfriend. The blog has the same kind of lies he has always written about, only now I am the ex he runs into the ground. Hopefully this new girlfriend will realize soon enough what a mess she has got herself into. I don’t understand why he felt it necessary to contact us after so long if he has a new girlfriend. But then, I don’t understand much of how he operates other than it is not normal. I am guessing he needs to find a way to build himself up by saying how I want him back yet he runs me into the ground. This is the same story he used on me about Christie. When I talked to her myself I found out quite the opposite — as it is with me also! I am no expert, but from my own experiences, and things I have learned through various reading materials etc., I have made a list of things you can do to avoid the same kind of experience as I have had. Most things should be obvious, but when your head is clouded with romance it is easy to fall away from logic.

* The absolute number one thing to remember is to listen to your gut instincts!! If anything make you uneasy or makes you question your judgment, find out why before going ahead with your plans!! Everything in my experience here I should have known, I should have seen, yet he always had ‘logical’ answers for my questions and I could also find simple excuses to explain things I questioned. Yet for so long something was making me uneasy.

Update 2009: There were some events in my life which caused me to try to find my ex husband. I did find him on a popular social networking site.  He seems to have grown up a bit now, and has apologized for everything he put me through which has given me some sense of closure. However, the emotional scars from this experience have given me some harsh life lessons. I am leery of anyone who lies to me and I still second guess my judgements at times. 

Many people believe in the idea that you should never hit a woman. While this is true, physical scars can heal. It is emotional scars that are the most damaging.

Update 2021: There were a few years that he messaged me now and then to catch up, always with some story that sounded like his old stories. I had done a lot of work on myself to heal this past relationship and separate our energies amicably. I had even worked with him energetically as well.
Shaughnessy reached out to me via social media in May of 2021 to ask about our divorce papers. Two weeks later, I saw pictures on his profile of his new wife. From what I know of his lies of the past, and all the work I did in healing this relationship, I do truly believe that this new marriage may be legitimate and healthy for him. My own experience still stands as a lesson of my past. 

I went out on the last jump of the season with Black Ram Parachute instructor Barry, Ben (our pilot), Mike, Byron, and Bob. Okay, I am a chicken first time… it was a tandem jump… not the full solo jump… that is next summer 🙂  We had to chase ahead of a rain cloud so we only went up to 4000 feet, but good enough for a first time!!

My impressions? THAT WAS SOOOO KOOL!!!!  It is a very strange feeling to jump out of a plane and 'freefall'. Time seems to stop and I felt like everything was in slow motion. I could look down at the pretty patchwork colors in the fields below while my feet dangled in front of me.

It doesn't even cross your mind that you're actually falling at high speeds!! That is until the ground gets closer…. I think that is when my brain kicked in and came back from holiday!! The whole experience is quite a rush though!

Damages? None!! …okay okay…. a small bruise on my knee… Big Deal!!  I am looking forward to next summer when we'll go up in the sunshine, and probably higher up 🙂

Melissa, Rae-Lee and Jared all watched and now they want to try it!

One last note, when we were packing up on the ground….. I noticed one of the guys wearing a T-shirt that says "Define Normal"…     We all are, of course!

***Update 2005: So far I have not tried skydiving again. Someday I really would like to do it again because it was such an amazing experience. Right now though I am too chicken. Someday…

Comments from friends

Hey, Great pictures! I'll get you up for a high one next year. ~Barry at Blackram Parachute Schools

Hey you Crazy Nut….Good Luck ~ Ron

Hope everything goes well jumping out of a perfectly good airplane! ~Mark P

Hey girl…. you're crazy woman!!! Hope it was fun  ~Nola (sister)

Crazy redhead?…..no…… absolutely…. positively….whacked out…..redhead…?!  yeah, that sounds about right…….lol   ~Thyra

Holy Crap!!  Did you make it? ~Val

What???!!!  Are you nuts???? ~Wade

(Thanks to all of you for the love and support ….ha ha ha)