Punnies

Ego and Super Ego walk into a bar. The Bartender says: I am going to need to see some ID. New gardeners learn by trowel and error. On my tombstone, please write “Not appreciating my puns was a grave mistake”. Rela-pun-ship goals: Will clever word play...

MOTTOES

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, and it is gone. A blonde said, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.” Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...

Pondering Thoughts

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but...

Geriatric Funnies

Since more and more seniors are texting and tweeting, there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code).  ATD: At The Doctor's  BFF: Best Friend Farted  BTW: Bring The Whe…elchair  BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth  CBM: Covered By Medicare  CUATSC: See...

Animals

Humor with Pets Pastor Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his Church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree...

Funnies for Parents

Cleaning your house while your children are growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello-o to a tree. ****************************************************** Even if not true, it makes a good “wee” tea...