Continuing my sustainable lifestyle change with Story Athlete GRIT. Balancing Mind, Body, Business, and Relationships.

These are my July 2020 daily context writings:

July 4 2020
Day of GRIT: # 1 of 28

METRIC: Saturday Palooza F3.
CONTEXT: “A Story Athlete Finds a Way”.

Make a list and get ‘er done!! Through my growing years I hated being the oldest. The guinea pig. The one who was always pushed to extremes by my totalitarian father. But years later I realize how much of a gift this early hardship was in building my integrity. Quitting and giving up is just not an option. I am a redhead Taurus and I will find a way to reach my goals and to show up where I need to.

I know I have an advantage as an energy practitioner to balance my energy and align with Divine Truth, Divine Guidance, and Divine Opportunities to reach my goals.

Now I am a Story Athlete and I will show up every day.

July 5 2020
Day of GRIT: # 2 of 28

METRIC: Stretch day, plus my amazing group energy balancing session tonight
CONTEXT: “I Challenge My Beliefs”

I challenge my beliefs regularly. Almost daily now in my journey of personal growth. What I have come to learn and understand is that we are raised with our parents beliefs, and they are doing the best they can with their knowledge and experience at any given time. We are also influenced by a collective society through life. But how many of those beliefs are Divine Truth? There is nothing worse than the immaturity of a closed mind.

I have learned that we have our own internal influences, formed by everything else we have experienced, including trauma. We have levels of consciousness, or levels of being. Emotional, Physical, Mental, Spiritual, and then we have Conscious and subconscious mindsets as well. On any one of these levels we can have stuck, outdated and non beneficial beliefs.

There are some methods of challenging our hidden beliefs, such as affirmations and talk therapies. While these methods have their place, I have found that they are not nearly as effective as energy balancing and getting to the roots cause of the hidden belief so we can challenge and release them for good.

In one of my very first courses, we had a retired firefighter come in to speak. He had moved up the ranks to be a trauma counselor. He was so thankful for energy balancing skills, because as he said, he would talk and teach about trauma then have a room full of adult firefighters triggered and in tears with their experiences. Through energy balancing techniques, they were able to release the trauma effectively and permanently.

I am also thankful for my energy balancing skills to effectively challenge my own beliefs and to move forward in my own personal growth path.

July 6 2020
Day of GRIT: # 3 of 28

METRIC: 12 MOD I managed to get hip off the ground for side planks, but from knees only.
CONTEXT: I get knocked down, but I get up again.

Well that workout fit the context for sure. omg @CJThomas !! You make it LOOK easy. Struggled through the workout as best I could and took a break before writing context. I definitely got knocked down on this one. Got up again and had to wait to write context as my spindly little arms were dead lol. Room for improvement…

I am so grateful to be where I am in life now. Previously, I had been “knocked down” so many times, but when quitting isn’t an option, the only way is to go upwards and onwards.

I have Chumba Wumba stuck in my head now. I didn’t really like the song when it came out but it was my then roommate’s favorite song. Turned into one of our party tunes and holds a few memories.

I love music as it is the language of the soul and lyrics can express so much for so many in unique ways. Sometimes it is just catchy tunes though, and the connection of emotional charge can bring you right into the moments of past memories.
We are making hilarious new memories with CJ’s workout music selection accompaniments. Some days I am not so sure how to feel about that. We get knocked down, but I will always get up again!

July 7 2020
Day of GRIT: 4# of 28

METRIC: 5 K Palooza F3. One of these days I am going to move up. My arms just do not handle my extra weight so far.
FINISHER: F4. Managed to do regular knee push ups.. on the floor. With a small curious weight on my back. Midnight was checking me out on the floor and decided to play horseback. Didn’t get a pic of him on my back tho.

CONTEXT: “I Know My Associations Matter”

We are not what happened to us, we are what we have become. All sorts of crappy things can happen in life, and they will. Do we crawl under a rock and commiserate with others in similar situations, or do we use the experiences to grow? At one point I was a welfare mom, and I associated with other welfare moms. That was just where I was in life due to circumstances that I had not yet learned to overcome.
Being a welfare mom is not a bad thing. That is what the system is there for, to give you a hand UP, to give you a chance to give your babies what they need. It is not meant to be a hand out and a way of life.

As I matured, some of those friendships fell away, while others grew with me into a network support system that I needed at that time.
Now years later, I look back on the friendships, romantic relationships, and business associations I have had over the years. Not all of those associations have carried through time.

People and circumstances come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. This is all part of our growth. Everything is a vibration, and everything is energy. Our personal space, our auric field, is highly influenced by our environment whether it is people and associations or our living spaces.

To progress successfully in life, I need to be fully aware and prepared to cut ties with anything that hinders my own progress.

Thankfully, I know that clearing my own energy and raising my own vibration will allow those non beneficial associations to fall away with some ease.

When I stand in my own power, it provides a filter of sorts, that attracts people who are beneficial to my own life path, while filtering out those that are not.

I want to be a person of integrity:
Someone who shows up no matter what.
Someone who is respectfully compassionate to others, yet firm in my own self respecting boundaries.
Someone who appreciates cleanliness, organization, and efficiency.
Someone who is truthful, honest, ethical, tactful, yet very aware and avoidant of naivety and gullibility.
And most of all, I want to be firm and moving forward in my own personal growth and life purpose.

To this end, I must choose my associations carefully.

July 8 2020

Day of GRIT: 5 # of 28

METRIC: F2 OMG CJ! You make it look so easy until I actually get down on the floor to do it. :/
FINISHER: F4 managed 3 rounds. This body is not ready to try walking up a wall. Attempted handstand last month was torture enough.

CONTEXT: “Perfection is a Double-Edged Sword”

“The only thing that separates any one of us from excellence is fear and the opposite of fear is faith. I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for, perfection is God’s business.” ~ Michael J. Fox

I know from way too much experience that striving for perfection is a trauma after effect. A combination of being controlled and pushed too much, and feelings of unworthiness and not good enough. It is not pretty and it is a source of heartache and a factor in procrastination.

I prefer to strive for excellence. Even then I know I may fall short in someone’s else, but what does that matter?

Being authentic is about accepting the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Shine a light on imperfections and be happy being perfectly imperfect.

There are two wonderful examples of this in cultural terms:
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art.
Navajo blankets are made with a deliberately added imperfection.

I used to be so self conscious before I learned how to overcome PTSD and past traumas. Now, I just don’t care. I strive to do MY best, I am authentic, and that is good enough. I AM good enough.

I have been known to trip over my own two feet at times. I must look pretty darn stupid, but I have a comeback that usually gets a few giggles. “Well, that earned the graceful award, didn’t it?”.

July 9 2020

Day of GRIT: # 6 of 28

METRIC: 12 MOD, again, it LOOKED easy :/
CONTEXT: “My Level of Desire Matters”

I am a redhead Taurus, known for stubbornness, even to my own detriment at times. I have grown to think of it more as determination instead. Better energy.

I have crossed off many goals on my life’s bucket list. My desire to accomplish those goals was a huge factor.

With desire, and energetic alignment, our goals can come to fruition quickly, and almost easily.

Yet, there are other goals I have had over the years that fell away for whatever reason. My goals changed, my desires changed.

I wanted to be a nurse, a stewardess, a pharmacist, and an ultrasound tech at one time in my life.  I cannot see myself as any one of those now, and I am so glad my life path led me to where I am now as a holistic energy practitioner.

As for the things I did accomplish, it was my level of desire to achieve those goals that gave me the resolve to overcome any obstacles in the way of my goal.

Without desire, I just don’t care, and will make other choices.

July 10 2020
Day of GRIT: # 7 of 28

METRIC: Deck of Cards Palooza F2. I nearly cried looking at that pile of confusion. I used week one screenshot but then pretty sure I screwed up royally and repeated a bunch since I couldn’t read properly on phone. To do list: go to dollar store and get a manual deck for next week.
FINISHER: F3, not pushing the first week so I have room to improve.

CONTEXT: “Perspective Changes Everything”

Oh boy this is a great context!! When we focus on trauma and upsets, and past slights from others, or even the outside world, our outlook on life ends up being one of closed minded helplessness. Fear and panic prevail. A lack of control to change anything around us, when we do not understand that we must BE our own change. Our power lies in our perspective of life. Something we cannot force on anyone around us. It is just our own inner strength, if we so choose.

Our experiences shape our perceived reality, but they do not shape our mindset. We have control over our mindset. Once we learn that concept, nothing can stand in our way.

A poignant example: Nelson Mandela came out of horrific long term prison conditions and went on to achieve great things. Why? Because he left the past behind him in that prison. He forgave the people who treated him badly. His perspective changed everything.

The perspective that really hit home for me was reading  Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning”. He talks about his experience in Auschwitz just enough to explain logotherapy, which is basically a change in perspective to find meaning in life. He explained that prisoners would die as soon as they lost hope. But with hope and a different perspective, the human spirit can endure horrific conditions and survive.
An example on perspective he used in the book was a doctor that came to see him for a psychiatric appointment. The doctor had lost his wife and was stuck in depression, unable to move forward. Dr Frankl asked him what would have happened if he had died before his wife. The doctor said his wife would have been a wreck and not survived at all!
Dr Frankl explained that if that would have been the case, then by allowing her to die first, the doctor saved her all that grief. With a simple change in perspective and a meaning for life, the doctor was able to enjoy life again as his wife would have wanted.

These days, there is a wide range of perspectives out there and many people trying to push their opinions and agendas on others. The more I heal myself, the more my perspectives change and mature. The more I heal, the more I let go of a painful past to look towards a bright future.

It is not worth it to get into arguments or debates over whose opinions and perspectives are “right”, because they are always right in our own eyes. We are all on different and unique life paths. At different points in our soul journey and life lessons.

I look to those for inspiration who hold mature perspectives that I admire. Steadfast, authentic, and peacefully enlightened. I tend to avoid those who try to force their unhealed and triggered perspectives on others. There is not much worse than a fool that is hell bent on forcing everything outside of themselves.

I have been that fool years ago in an unhealed part of my life. Perhaps my perspectives will change even more as I age and gain more life experiences. All I know is that perspective does change everything and is the basis of a happy or unhappy life.

July 11 2020
Day of GRIT: # 8 of 28

METRIC: Saturday Palooza F3 with high knees modification
FINISHER: F3 with incline push up modification

CONTEXT: “You Don’t Know Me!”

I was a teen mom, got married early and was about 2 years ahead of my same age friends in experiences. When I was in private school, we had workbooks that had quotes and sayings and bible verses peppered throughout. I would write out these bits of wisdom in a notebook. When my friends were going thru experiences, I would lend out my notebook for encouragement. I had a heck of a time getting it back sometimes!

When the internet came along in 1998, I created a website that listed all of these saved writings where everyone had access to it all. Jackie’s Compilations was born.

After my first divorce, I finally got a social life being the DD and going out meeting people. Something I skipped earlier being a teen mom. I had a certain friend who loved jokes. Every time we saw each other, we would try to one-up each other with the latest jokes. He was a good guy and a good friend with whom I enjoyed partying responsibly (he didn’t drink much either, just socialized). We did have a few heart to heart talks in those years, and some pep talks about his girlfriend as well.

When I decided to move away from my home town to the city 6 hours away, I wrote out my website and email on cards and gave it to all my friends to keep in touch after I moved. A few weeks later, I received an email from this particular friend.

He said that in all the years he had known me through sharing all of our jokes and laughs, he never realized how deep of a person I was and that he saw me in quite a different light now after reading through my website.

This email made me realize that some people don’t really see every facet of our lives.

I spent 26 years working at the post office. We had god-awful blue uniforms that were NOT my color. Whenever I saw my coworkers outside of work, they looked funny in regular clothes. I am sure they thought the same of me.

These days, I am an energy practitioner and I work with clients to overcome PTSD, trauma, and boatloads of stress. All the nice feel good quiet kind of stuff.

But I am also a rock concert fanatic, and I love road trips. Highway Zen. I am not much of a planner and prefer to be stable yet spontaneous.

I am not sure I look the part at all. I remember telling someone I was all excited about AC/DC and Rammstein concerts with all the bass and pyrotechnics, and then mentioned that I have 4 grown kids and 5 grandkids. Their hamster wheel was spinning like crazy trying to figure out my age lol.

Through all my experiences in life, I have developed a twisted, corny, and sometime dark sense of humor. I find humor in most things because there are times in life that things can get so shitty and about all you can do is laugh to release the stress, then buckle down and deal with it.

I may think I live a pretty simple life, and yet I have friends who say they have a hell of a time keeping track of me. They know me well enough, but not really 😛

July 12 2020
Day of GRIT: # 9 of 28

METRIC: Stretch Palooza !
FINISHER: Remote group energy balancing tonight

CONTEXT: “I make time to laugh”
I am mature enough that I can be serious, compassionate, and professional when required. Otherwise, I am always looking for the humor in situations. Twisted, corny, silly and sometimes even dark humor.
Laughter is the best medicine. It is lighthearted and the place where good shifts happen.

In Matrix Energetics, the whole point is to drop into heart space with laughter in order to shift things, then just let go and let miracles happen. When we laugh, we distract and disconnect the logic brain where most of the energetic blockages happen.

I read the Matrix Energetics books but didn’t take the courses. I have friends who took courses though and when having an energetic play time with them, the laughter was extensive and a lot of shifts happened those nights.

I have learned that the more we heal our hurts, the more open we are to laughter and humor, and the more we can live in the moment with the innocence of a child. This is the best place to be in having gratitude for the wonders and miracles of life.

I actually have a few select pages in my website full of humor. Of course, I am always adding more. Check out what I have so far, if you like:

July 13 2020
Day of GRIT: # 10 of 28

METRIC: 12 MOD, with the modifications
FINISHER: Chumbawumba F2 30 incline push ups.
Twist 20 squat, incline push up burpees

CONTEXT: “I finish what I started”

I had gone back to school as a mature student with an interest in psychology. Once I got into energy balancing and took many courses there, I decided to take courses towards my associate of arts psych degree that aligned more with body science. My career counselor suggested “Human anatomy and physiology”, a required course for the nursing program.

I loved the course material!! Fascinating! But, there was a lab. During the second lab class, the instructor showed us a femur bone, and listed 12 more names for each bump and ridge. Then proceeded to tell us that it would be easier for us to take a first level Russian language course than to learn all the required terminology for the whole class. And if you don’t pass the lab, you fail the course. I cried. I seriously cried.

I loved the lectures but got a low mark on the first test. Apparently I can absorb all sorts of information, but writing this information coherently on a test was a big hindrance for me. I ended up auditing the course instead.
A few years later, I was choosing my final courses and mentioned that I felt bad that I dropped a course. I told the career counselor I am not a quitter and I felt awful about that course. She chided me when she looked up my marks and realized it had been marked “audit” not drop and did not affect my marks.

I realized that although I am not a quitter, I sometimes need to modify my plan of action and that is ok to do so. It may have taken me 10 years to complete 20 courses while I juggled the rest of life. I still finished what I started, and I graduated with an Associate of Arts with Psychology Concentration in June of 2018. Bucket list was to earn a degree. Check.

July 14 2020
Day of GRIT: # 11 of 28

METRIC: 5K Palooza F3 modified with incline push ups and squat burpees
FINISHER: F3 modified with incline push ups

CONTEXT: “I Choose Heroic Attributes”

Don’t put your faith in Mankind, because Mankind will fail you. Rather put your faith in God, the Laws of the Universe, and in Yourself. We are only human, with human failings in this game of life.

Better to choose heroic attributes of certain people to admire and to emulate, rather than the whole person.

As a little girl, I looked up to my father. I could ask him anything and he would find some sort of answer for me. I was “Daddy’s little girl”. I watched and helped him build our family home. I loved our camping trips, learning to cook without an actual  recipe, and my love of rocks is also from him. I learned to be independent as well. Through totalitarian rule, he taught me that quitting is not an option.

But, when the teen years approached, daddy’s little girl became daddy’s confidante and the teaching was taken too far. He continued a cycle of abuse that he had been subjected to in his own life.

It was only a few years later that I realized I never had a protector, a hero. I looked for a hero to save me in both getting pregnant as a teen and getting married to escape my father. My then husband was no hero either. I learned to protect myself.

It was only after healed from that early damage and after my father passed in 2014 that I realized the heroic attributes I inherited and learned from him. I broke the abuse cycle, but I am thankful for the heroic attributes I gained from him.

There is a whole other spiritual theory of why I chose this life, and that abuse, that relationship with that man as my father. What I do know is that I am thankful for choosing the heroic attributes, and breaking the cycle of the rest.

I have also learned that we need to be aware of human failings, and forgiving of the past for our own sanity. But we need to focus on, appreciate, and CHOOSE only the heroic attributes of those we look up to.

July 15 2020

Day of GRIT: # 12 of 28

METRIC: Wednesday Palooza F2

CONTEXT: “I Don’t Wait on Circumstances”

The first 5 years of my first marriage, we were on social assistance most of the time. I was “barefoot and pregnant” stay home mom with 2 babies. My husband could not hold a job for whatever reason. The best job in town was the local mill. He insisted on dressing in dress pants and to go bring a resume in to the mill on Monday mornings at 9 am. If he missed that time, he would aim for next week. Drove me bonkers as I could not get him to understand that the men getting hired showed up in work clothes with their lunch box at shift change time.

My philosophy has always been that you need to make the move if you want to reach your goals. And right now, not yesterday! There are often many others waiting in the wings so if you want something, get on it now!

Years later I have many people comment to me on how much I have accomplished in life with raising kids, finds the best deals, going to concerts and taking off on spontaneous road trips. Living in synchronicity.

Why am I so “lucky” and why have I crossed off many bucket list goals? Because I don’t wait on circumstances. When an opportunity presents itself, and it “feels right”, even if I feel a bit scared, it is JUST JUMP DAMMIT!!!!!!!! Yes. Pray lots, have some faith and just JUMP! I AM the star that aligns with my goals!

July 16 2020

Day of GRIT: # 13 of 28


CONTEXT: “I will learn how”

One of the philosophies I like to aspire to is the idea that if you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. If you teach him how to fish, eat will eat for a lifetime. (There is an added fisherman’s joke that a man that knows how to fish will be gone all day too, but that’s beside the point here).

This is my concept of social assistance as well. I was on social assistance years ago as a young mom. But I believe in hand UPS, not hand outs. I had to learn how to fend for myself and get a decent job to support my family. Having to learn HOW is the most basic of survival and self empowerment. I also believe in giving back and paying forward wherever you are able. This is what makes an ideal world go round.

It is never the destination, it is the journey that builds our authenticity, our resolve, our character.

I still love learning, and the journey of personal growth means stepping out of my comfort zone regularly to learn how to do new things. Right now I am having to learn new things with technology. It is way out of my comfort zone. It is uncomfortable for me, but I will learn how in order to take on another leadership and service role in my network community.

July 17 2020

Day of GRIT: # 14 of 28

METRIC: Deck of Cards Palooza F2. Went to the dollar store for a new deck and shuffled like crazy. Still end up with cards of death for my little spindle arms :/

CONTEXT: “I keep hope alive”

Hope is my middle name hunny bunny!! I mean my middle name used to be “trouble” apparently, or so I was told back in the day. But really, and more so these days, I am HOPE.

Ladybugs are a symbol of hope and freedom. This is exactly why I have Ladybug Wellness. I show my clients the way to inner peace. By disconnecting the emotional charge to past upsets, we uncover our true selves and we uncover the good memories long buried that give us new hope for the future.

Take my hand, we’ll make it I swear, livin’ on a prayer!!

July 18 2020
Day of GRIT: # 15 of 28

METRIC: Saturday Palooza F3 high knees modification
FINISHER: F4 modified

CONTEXT: “I Maintain My Composure”

For the most part, it seems a lot of people think I have a lot of patience and a high tolerance level. For the most part, I agree. But then not everyone knows the other side of me. The redhead Taurus. The half German, lil bit Irish, ex postal worker. Ya that side.

Through healing past trauma, I learned that my “response” was to shut down, to retreat. But if I got pushed too far, Hell hath no fury like a redhead scorned. Satan would need a restraining order. Redhead unleashed is not a pretty sight.

At least this is the way I describe how I have felt. Apparently, this is not necessarily what it looks like to others. Even when I feel outraged, when I have been crossed, when that lengthy fuse has finally burned to the end, I seem to go into shock mode and still look “calm”. I enunciate words ever so clearly, and maybe slam a few inanimate objects.

But, still there was one incident, the last one I can clearly remember as it was a poignant moment that changed the course of my life. April 23 2008. The kids’ father was taking me to court yet again to get out of his responsibilities, my daughter was leaving the country for two years;, and I had been on modified duties due to injuries on the job and had to watch my co-workers pick up the slack. To top this off, we had a new supervisor that was just going by the book and causing issues rather than using any shred of common sense. I had been out on overtime, I was exhausted, overworked, and blinded because this supervisor moved my sunglasses and lost them. I just wanted to go home, but that supervisor called me out on my pissy demeanor and blamed my coworkers for theft rather than taking responsibility for her own inept actions. It was the straw that broke the pack mule’s back.

I told her off, and told her exactly what I thought of her actions and lack of integrity. I broke out in hives and hyperventilated. Later, my union rep told me that if I flip out, there is definitely a problem in the system because I was previously known to be so calm and composed.

No, it was not pretty. But this was also the incident that was a blessing in disguise that started me to a new chapter of personal growth and led me to the wonderful life I have now.

So, yes for the most part, I can maintain my composure. But I also know my limits and I have enough self respect to make sure those I allow in my life know these extended limits when I can go from kind and compassionate, to redhead unleashed.

July 19 2020
Day of GRIT: # 16 of 28

METRIC: Stretch Palooza, followed video
FINISHER: Went bowling for 2 games. First time in eons lol. Definitely more for fun than winning.

CONTEXT: “I adhere to my own rules”

Rules, rules and, more rules. A way for government to control the masses with laws which are basically someone’s perception taken into consideration and a “rule” made to prevent some sort of boundary crossing.

In Crim 101 we discussed rules and laws, which have changed considerably in society, in cultures, and in countries since more communal times.

That is more on a grand scale. I respect most rules, but I also question authority in my own way. I align constantly with “Divine Truth”, and conduct myself accordingly.

My own rules are ones of self respect boundaries, integrity, and simply keeping my word and showing up.

There are always exceptions to human rules, and I am open to accepting common sense reasons why rules are sometimes lenient. But for the most part, I adhere to my own ethics and rules.

July 20 2020
Day of GRIT: # 17 of 28

METRIC: 12 MOD fire hydrant modification
FINISHER: Chumbawumba F2 30 incline push ups

CONTEXT: “Rules are meant to be broken”

As I said yesterday, I feel that rules are a lot of attempts at control. In that sense, yes rules need to be revised and bent and even broken at times to keep on an efficient and self empowering path.

There are websites that list outdated laws everywhere that are actually still valid yet maybe not enforced. Thankfully, as with some of these laws, you just have to wonder why some were ever adopted in the first place.

This is the same with our own self care. In conversations over the years, there are times that I have wondered why someone has this or that rule for themselves. What I have learned it that these rules are their sense of boundaries, based on their perceptions at any given time. This is the same for everyone. It is a human nature response to control our environment.

Because of past trauma, I had very weak boundaries and no personal rules other than what I had through being controlled through my father, through the education system, or through work and society environments. As matured and healed, I developed more respectable boundaries and rules.

While there are rules of integrity, responsibility, honesty, and accountability that should never be broken, there are other general rules we create in life that should be open to discussion, flexibility and change in order to stay in the flow of efficiency and growth for the greater good of all.

July 21 2020
Day of GRIT: # 18 of 28

METRIC: 5K Palooza
CONTEXT: “I Practice True Commitment…”

Are you just interested, or are you committed? This was something said at a business leadership conference a few years ago and it has stuck with me. You can’t be “half pregnant” either.

There’s a another example I have heard of that drives home the point. I read an article a while ago about a marriage proposal. Do you say “Would you marry me?” or “Will you marry me?”. Huge difference there. Are you willing to take the risk of rejection and ask someone to take a risk as well, or are you just going to contemplate the idea?

One of the old sayings I always remember being said is “Do your business or get off the pot”.

There are a lot of things in life that you can’t just go half way. Wishy washy doesn’t cut it in the real world.

You’re either all in or you’re not.

With GRIT, I have been ALL IN since April. It may get late. I may have all sorts of other things going on, but my workout and context get done and posted.

July 22 2020

Day of GRIT: # 19 of 28

METRIC: Wednesday Palooza F2

CONTEXT: “No Subject is Off-Limits…”

The horse story, and my own naivety…

Having had some early life experiences before my same age friends, I was usually the one they turned to for a shoulder when they went through similar life upsets. Many times I was told I should be a counsellor. Nope. NOT my thing. I did not want to be a professional in that field. Personally, talk therapy never worked well for me anyway. I love my life now working with energy balancing, and just eradicating the root cause of issues, disconnecting the emotional charge of upsets without having to relive the ordeals.

Although I am not a counselor, I have always had a fascination with science, psychology, and human behavior. In working with clients, I still need to be open to any subject, and many of those topics can be past traumas and quite serious upsets, IF they choose to share some of those details with me.

On the other hand, through my own past traumas, I have developed quite a twisted sense of humor.

I am smart, because I have been ignorant. I am wise, because I have been stupid. Lack of knowledge is not necessarily ignorance.  And not many subjects are off limits with me. Go ahead. Ask me anything. Just be forewarned that you may not like or appreciate my answer.

Since we’re opening that can of worms, let me explain the horse story, and how naive I was at one time.

To start off, I am from a family of four girls. My birds and the bees talk was an exasperated explanation after my babysitter mentioned “period”, then told me to ask mom.  (Sorry Mom lol).

Let’s go back to about 10 years old. There was a horse living across the street from our house. I used to go over and hang on the fence and I learned how to hold my hand straight out to feed this horse. Well, one day, the horse didn’t come trotting over like he normally did. He stood in the middle of the pen and shifted his back legs. Then, as this soon to be absolutely mortified 10 year old child watched… a third leg descended to the ground and left a large puddle. Then this leg retracted, and the horse happily came over for some treats. :/

Fast forward a few years to age 16. I knew a few of the birds and the bees topics by then, but still took a dare to “play with it” when I went camping with a girlfriend and a certain boy tagged along. Well, two weeks later, I got pregnant. Oops.

Next, I had to go to the doctor. I was awfully shy. He asked me how old I was, if I had a boyfriend, and if I thought I was pregnant. I sheepishly nodded to his questions. Then he explained the procedure to do this pregnancy check. WHAT???????? YIKES!!  The doctor told me “Well, it went in that way, how do you think it’s coming out?”. (Oh dear God shoot me now…). Yes, I seem to learn some lessons the hard way.

Being the good little Christian sheltered girl that I was, we did the “right thing” and got married when our daughter was 13 months old.

Men have this extra appendage, that is a creature with a mind of its own. Now I got to live with this thing. (I do have to credit this husband with putting up with my naivety back then).

This appendage was not always in the upright position that I had previously known. I soon learned that “morning wood” was not necessarily for me. That means it needs to go water the plants.

I distinctly remember one time following my husband into the bathroom to watch this operation. He did his business, gave it a shake, and tucked it away. I was curious and blurted out… “Doesn’t it go back up inside you??” He almost yelled at me “WTF is wrong with you?”. I told him I was just confused, because that is what happened with the horse. Oops. So much for the stallion idea. Sheesh.

Now, if this was not naive enough, there’s more.

Fast forward a few more years. We had now been married five years, and had four kids. You’d think I knew some things by then. Apparently not.

We lived in a little shack across from his mother, with only wood heat. He had gone out fishing, and had a mishap where he ended up waist deep in water. He had come home soaked and freezing cold. The kids had gone over to grandma’s house. I was stoking the wood fire and parked myself in front of the fireplace on a low stool.

My husband stripped down to nothing and stood in front of the fireplace to warm himself. My eye level noticed something “not there”, and I screamed. Again, he yelled at me, “WTF is wrong with you???”.

Well….. where did it go? Apparently there is something called “shrinkage factor” that creates a turtle scene when that appendage gets cold. Oops. I had no idea. :/

No, I am not that naive anymore. But this is kinda how the twisted humor developed. In party days with my sister, I was usually the DD. Since I hardly ever drank much, I was the one with the jokes.

One of our faves was:
Do you know how to make babies? You eat watermelon seeds.
Do you know how to not make babies? You spit, don’t swallow.
Know what else? If you hold it just right, you can make ’em shoot right far.

This story is also why my adult kids have grown up with a no holds barred kind of humor and I don’t know if I should be proud or scared.

July 23 2020
Day of GRIT: # 20 of 28
METRIC: 12 MOD with the modifications offered
FINISHER: F2 sprints

CONTEXT: “I Find Ways to Enjoy the Process…”

One of the after effects of trauma can be “separating”. I did not know this until adulthood and until I started to heal my past. This psychological survival response happens when a child cannot escape the situation of pain, so their mind go elsewhere to endure and survive. In Body Code, this is called “Spirit out of Body”. I had many many of these trapped energies from my past, and it sure was a different feeling to correct and heal that past, to uncover the good memories and to be able to move forward in maturity and personal growth.

The silver lining of this response is that once we heal and “get grounded back into our body”, we can use this response to our advantage to accomplish the hard stuff in life.

I have worked out in -40C weather a few times. Certainly not enjoyable by any means, but I can go into a daydream mode of mechanically getting the job done while my mind enjoys a vacation in the tropics. I worked that job for 26 years, 12 of those years outside. Working inside, sorting mail was monotonous and boring. I would find ways to enjoy work anyway. Audio books and mind games of some sort. Or I would crack jokes with my coworkers. Sometimes I would get a new co-worker to help me lift heavy parcels, as we were required to do so with safety regulations. While lifting the parcel, I would tell them “This is cooperation, just like on Sesame Street”. This was a good way to make sure I worked alone much of the time. Those new ones weren’t so sure of me.

At one point when I decided to start Plan B towards retirement, I started evening psychology courses. My class was on Monday evenings. Mondays at the post office are atrociously heavy volumes, and just over all rotten days. I would want to crawl under a rock and die after work, but I pulled myself together and got myself to class. I soon found my happy place. I loved learning, and I still do. The process of becoming a better person, filling myself with knowledge was a wonderful process.

I got through chores as a child, working a full time job in inclement weather to earn a paycheck to feed my family, and through going back to school as a mature student, all by finding ways to enjoy the process.

My reward is that I have created a life that I do not feel a need to escape from. I love my life now.

July 24 2020

Day of GRIT: # 21 of 28

UNIT: #Perseverance

METRIC: Deck of Cards Palooza F2
CONTEXT: “I Operate to Capture Attention”
For the most part, yes. But part of me says no.
Energy healers, life coaches, counsellors, therapies of all sorts, and inspirational speakers have taken the world by storm.
We have had generations of wars, plagues, upsets, and poor parenting skills for various reasons. Now we have a generation of people lost and hurt and trying to “find themselves”. In marketing, the best approach is to find your niche. Well, there is a plethora of niches in the therapy and inspiration movements.
The sad fact though, is that just because someone says they are a therapist, an energy healer, a counselor, or any other kind of wellness or health type coach, does not mean they are a good person to be trusted. There are snake oil salesmen out there, ready to prey on your naivety with vague conversations that play on human nature to rope you in, then sucker punch with greed and sales pitches. All in the name of “heart based and connective sales”. But are they genuine?
MLM type spiels are fastest way to lose friends and make enemies. That is the furthest you can get from being genuine and compassionate.
Just like any other professions, it is wise to do your homework and follow your inner guidance in choosing someone to work with on such a personal level. Your comfort is an absolute priority.

I had someone tell me just the other day that they have a million dollar company and bigger fish to fry, disregarding small helpful safety measures for those around them. No accountability or responsibility in their promotions. I was not the least bit impressed!! That reeks of the spirit of greed rather than the spirit of peace and balance. Everything about this person was about keeping appearances, image promotion, and gleaning attention, while their private chat was quite pompous and dismissive.
For all these reasons, I want to be genuine and operate from my own integrity, morals, and responsible business ethics. I want to be my own shining light that shines brightly to show others the way to inner peace, by leading by example.
Any dimwit can get onto current social media platforms and post all sorts of stupidity that seems to be the sad state of our society. Sheeple will gladly waste time following dimwits. Sheeple will also follow any shiny new snake oil salesman.
I want to offer value in serving others with self empowering inspiration. I want to be someone who can be trusted and ethical.
Rather than operating with a focus of capturing attention, I want my focus to be operating from integrity. In genuinely serving others from the heart, the best advertising is word of mouth. The attention and abundance can and probably will come later.
While I get the point of this context, this “million dollar company” comment really irked me the other day and gave me a whole other sense of this context in operating to capture attention.

July 25 2020

Day of GRIT: # 21 of 28 <>—<>

METRIC: Saturday Palooza F5, Day 21 – We’re on the home stretch!!
CONTEXT: ” I Create My Reality ”
If someone had told me at age 14 what my life would turn out like, I would have never believed them! Ya I have had some ups and downs, for a while there, but I have so many incidences in my life where I had thought of something or mentally planned to get or achieve something and it manifested.
These days, I am so grateful for my shortcut in manifesting. I live in synchronicity. Everything “wrong” in life is just an energetic misalignment. Just balance my energy to the vibration of my goals and Voila! there it is!

July 26 2020

Day of GRIT: #22 of 28

METRIC: Much needed stretch Palooza
FINISHER: Helping a friend move stuff.. I moved several heavy items all by myself :/
Looking forward to Reiki group session tonight.
CONTEXT: “I Don’t Chase Shiny Objects…”
I saw today’s context last night and had a mild panic attack. After all, my nickname is Scrat for a reason. Today was super busy, helping a friend move. I had time to think.
What I realized is that my nickname Scrat was not so much because of chasing shiny objects, but because of raising four kids and juggling life for so many years. Jackie Scrat was just trying to find a balance in chasing the nut of life.
I have never been materialistic. Sure I used to be horrid with stocking up on Kmart specials. Please don’t ask my ex husband from 30 years ago about the 25 cent rolls of Christmas wrapping paper that moved with us six times. I still do stock up on necessities and food, but I don’t think I am  hoarder level.
My version of shiny objects is books and rocks. And courses, self help kind of stuff. Inspirational memes to share. Other than keeping GRIT income and marketing on the horizon, I have 4 other courses on the go that I have not yet completed.
I love concert pyrotechnics and creating memories that way. I suppose that is my real version of chasing shiny objects and concert tickets.
I did take Solitaire and Tetris off my phone games because I wasted too much time on that. I made time to fill with clients and business… and those courses I signed up for so they are not just shelf help.
So, while I think I am not materialistic or chasing shiny objects, honestly I still do have that trait a bit. The main point I think is to focus on my goals and accomplishments and allow a few gratifying shiny objects here and there as my reward.

July 27 2020
Day of GRIT: # 23 of 28
FINISHER: Chumba Wumba F2
CONTEXT: “I Know the 1% Rule Works (For Me or Against Me)……”
I used to be so active, but then little by little I fell off going hiking so much after I retired. I also had a bad habit of drinking Timmies French Vanilla for about the last ten years. Intuitively I KNEW something was bad with it, but I kept drinking it until I was on a search for why I had gained so much weight for the first time in my life. When I read the ingredients, I found asulfame potassium, another version of aspartame AKA rat poison. My 1% habit was slowly killing me. Sure there may be other factors, but this 1% habit was probably seriously compounded interest over 10 years.
Now I have joined GRIT, and going on 4 months of 1% in a much more positive direction for all areas of my life. I am looking forward to the compounded interest as the pendulum swings in the right direction for my health and happiness over the next 10 years.

July 28 2020

Day of GRIT: # 25 of 28

METRIC: 5K Palooza F2
CONTEXT: “I Step Up for My Team…”

TEAM = Together Everyone Achieves More
When I joined GRIT back in April, the first thing I understood was “if you don’t do your workout and post every day, your team leader gets punished with burpee curses”. Seriously? I could not do that to anyone!! Scared straight here!
I made a promise to My Perseverance Team that there would be no burpee curses coming from me. So far I have kept my word because that is my integrity.
I actually have not had the honor and privilege too many times in my life to be part of a TEAM where everyone takes up their own accountability so well as I have seen here in GRIT.
I spent 26 years in a union environment where there is always some slack-ass that rides the union protection contract forsaking all others while everyone else pays for it. I suppose that created a lot of resentment in me and probably why I prefer to go solo for many things in life. I know I can count on me to be reliable.
GRIT has been different and so appreciated to keep me accountable because I can be my own slack-ass sometimes when it comes to just me.
I appreciate the whole community of GRIT, because Together Everyone Achieves More.

July 29 2020
Day of GRIT: # 26 of 28

METRIC: Wednesday Palooza F2
CONTEXT: I Digest My Emotions.
Emotion Code is my language as an energy balancing practitioner. We don’t really digest emotions though. We balance them and transmute negative to positive.
Negative emotions like shame, grief, anger, fear, worthlessness are very heavy emotions. Love, Joy, Peace, Enlightenment, Happiness are all light positive emotions.
In terms of digesting emotions in a Story Athlete FUEL kind of way, the negative emotions would be worse than coal burning – think dumpster and sewage burning. Positive emotions would be even better than nuclear.

I prefer a more effective and easier approach through the methods we use in energy balancing work. Simple. Effective. And not many details needed to find and transmute the heaviness into peace and joy. This method uncovers our true selves and lets our inner light shine brightly. Ya, we can digest emotions, and feel them fully internally, but wouldn’t it be better to process and release instead of digesting?
Life is beautiful when we have known the opposite, and can now savor the more positive and uplifting aspects of life to the fullest.

July 30 2020
Day of GRIT: # of 28

FINISHER: F2 sprints
CONTEXT: “I reflect on my results”
Well friends, today Ryan cancelled my membership. Yup I got booted. But I am still here today, because he cancelled my 3 month membership to replace it with a full year membership! My dear GRIT warriors you are stuck with me for the long haul. I came into GRIT out of shape, feeling like a failure, and feeling like a beached whale. I just did a trial run for free. Figured I would stick it out a little longer with the minimum 3 month membership, and now my workout and context is my first priority each day. No, that doesn’t mean I get to it first thing every morning. Some days it is late after all my appointments and other responsibilities. But it gets done and posted each and every day. It weighs on me until it gets done.
No burpee curses coming from this chickie. I promise.
I feel more flexible, somewhat more agile even though I have only shed 5 lbs of the 80 lbs reduction goal. My business has been the best it has ever been. I have made friends here. (Warm fuzzy group hugs!!) My mindset has improved overall.
Yes there are days I still feel backasswards, behind, and slower than a turtle in a frozen molasses river. Some days I allow myself to get by with a posted F2, but am conscious of doing anything else that adds to my workout each day.
The point is that I love my tribe here in GRIT. I dearly appreciate Ryan and CJ for this program.
You are all my TEAM because Together Everyone Achieves More.

July 31 2020
Day of GRIT: #28 of 28
METRIC: Murph F2
CONTEXT: “I expected the unexpected”
My intuition is such these days that I have really learned to trust it even when I don’t understand it. Sometimes it is good stuff, like when I am working with clients and we get a bright idea that shifts things for them exponentially.
Sometimes it is not so good stuff like asking my buddy for a second hug when we said goodbye that night, not understanding until later that our soul connection was so strong, and we “knew” that was the last time we would see each other.
Or taking a moment to speak my mind directly to my son in law of the loving thoughts I held, yet again not realizing that would be our last goodbye.
Sometimes my intuition prepares me in the most unexpected ways. Like not buying in January all the concert and event tickets I had planned for this year. Boy that was an unexpected relief that I hadn’t put money out prior to everything getting cancelled.
My intuition in February 2020 led me to start a free remote group Reiki/ energy balancing session which has exploded in popularity and is benefiting so many people on a grand scale as well as attracting newcomers to energy balancing, and new clients for me.
I have learned to expect the unexpected here in GRIT, mostly in good ways as #WeLuvCJ .
Yesterday I apparently unsettled a couple people with my context intro saying I got booted. I only got booted out of the 3 month program though and renewed for a year. However, my intuition has been weighing heavy on me the last several days. The last four months I have jumped right on the next month’s post with “ALL IN”.
I have no idea why, but my intuition is bugging me to sit out of the August GRIT game. My heart is at peace with not posting ALL IN for August. I’ll still be on the sidelines of course, cheering on my buds and catching up the fuel and income videos as well. I will be back ALL IN later. You’ve got me for the next year for sure.